Blocked?

lewis9887

Why was I blocked? I was polite and friendly, only asked her to chat and see if she'd like to come over, never got a response, just got blocked. Why would someone be on here as a cuddler and not reply to a request? A simple no thank you would have sufficed. I don't understand 🤔

zerocantaloupe

Generally I try to just start a conversation for at least a few messages before asking about meeting in person. Otherwise, it may be seen as coming on too strong.

Minestrone101

@zerocantaloupe - Very tactful!

@lewis9887 It's probably not your fault, but the environment others have made before you. When a woman says no to a stranger, she may risk verbal or physical threats. It's kind of a high risk/low reward game to let a stranger down easily vs someone they already know. I wouldn't take it personally as an affront to you.

Even if they're willing to cuddle, it's always good to take steps to build rapport and trust first : message back and forth, talk on the phone, meet in public, etc. This is before being in a private and intimate situation w a stranger. It's a very different experience and mindset than the other way around.

lewis9887

I actually said it wouldn't be soon and suggested chatting for a bit. I gave information about myself (age,pets, just general stuff). Could have blocked me after saying no thank you. That seems like the more polite thing to do. I guess I'll go with que sera sera 🙂

Minestrone101

@lewis9887 I see that you mean well, but that's not how reciprocation works...that they give you what you want when you want...bc you had good intentions. Things have to move at the recipient's pace and at their stage of consent, or not at all - and it's in their right to respond or not respond based on the reasons I stated (unrelated to you). It's not rude if they have a legitimate reason or concern imo.

BoomerSpooner

I noticed a lot of you are newer with little to no karma. You are more susceptible to blocking because you are an unknown as a client. As I collected more karma I went from occasionally being blocked to being solicited by them based on my karma. Soooo what’s a guy to do? Hire me as a consultant! No, that’s not it. The answer is simple. Continue to be polite and responsive, after a cuddle ask if they would be willing to vouch for you via karma, rinse and repeat. You will see your cuddle garden blossom and flourish if you do that. I am at a point now where the only time I really care if they leave karma or not is if it has been some time since my last karma. I have cuddled probably close to 200 people on this site and some I actually hoped would not leave karma they were so bad (they usually don’t because I act coldly to them) and the people I enjoyed the most are reflected in my karma. Karma doesn’t guarantee you anything other than someone an enthusiast or pro can contact if they have questions about you. But karma has its privileges.

The blocking is not necessarily based on conditioning at all. I have had several ladies tell me that they use the block to blackball for lack of a better term people who are too old/young, too pushy, too slimey, or somebody they just aren’t feeling. It happens. Even hospitals blackball patients they deem as troublesome. It is the world we live in today and you can moan and groan about it but that’s wasted time. Just move on. It’s their loss.

Minestrone101

@FunCartel Very eloquent!

@lewis9887 What FunCartel said.

BashfulLoner

I try to think of it like this, it’s her blocking feature and she does with it as he chooses.

BoomerSpooner

@BashfulLoner 💯Which to me means why cry over spilled milk if I am blocked. (Edited for those who can’t read who was tagged and was not addressing the OP).

As a general rule, I could care less who blocks me because there are plenty of cuddlers and people in the world. This thread I get because he is new but the threads started by experienced members asking about blocking are tedious, because you will never know the reason…because you are blocked. Even when I know the reason, I could care less. That person does not change my world one bit. Move on.

Because that person isn’t interested

And u shouldn’t care or worry if that person blocks you. These are women and they are going to be very picky who they cuddle with
And also cuddling has a lot to do with vibes also
I don’t wanna cuddle with someone who I feel is messed up or bad hygiene etc
Just take you’re time
And find someone else

pmvines

Dude , she's just not that into you nor does she owe you anything. Be an adult, handle your feelings, move forward. Not to be mean but you are 46 yr old man on a pseudo social media site making a public fuss about being blocked by somebody ....

Edit-
I see the comments and agree that I am being harsh with my above statement and apologize to @lewis9887 . What I do see a lot of on here are entitled men who go coo coo any time things dont go how they want it to go. Some posters here literally only ever complain about women and wallow and there are some pretty creepy incels here . I do feel compelled.to point that kind of thing out when i see it I attributed your post as being in that same vein and I sincerely dont believe that was the case after re reading . You seem to have had a genuine question about whether there was something in your behavior that might have led to you being blocked . To which I will say you may have been coming in hot and shouldn't have mentioned future meet ups in your first getting to know you messages. Dont take it personally, it is not the first time it will happen , and good luck to you . And again, apologies for coming down hard on you . You are welcome to message me and have a conversation if you like .

Rezz

I get being blocked could sting to some, but why the urge to come post to the forums about it?
We don't know why, only she does and she's blocked you.
I block people for all kinds of reasons. I don't owe any of them an explanation

Edit: Re-reading this sounded kinda bitchy but that's absolutely not what I'm trying to convey! I promise lol

zerocantaloupe

@Rezz I can sympathize that getting blocked feels like you broke a rule or did something wrong, so it’s understandable that the person would want a debrief about why.

Rezz

@zerocantaloupe

We don't know what his message said that could be a rule breaker. Maybe it's shark week and she's just feeling meh at the world. He could look like a cuddler she had a bad experience with.
We have no idea why.
I understand others curiousity but none of our answers will matter in the end ya know?
Hope he finds what he's looking for!

CharlieBear

@Rezz Yeah, nobody should have to explain why they blocked someone.

achetocuddle

@Rezz I think you sound matter-of-fact and suitably indifferent about getting blocked.

I can't imagine that any person would consistently say "no thank you" to everyone that messages them when they are not interested. I'm including the people who post in the forum to ask why can't people send a simple "no thank you".

Minestrone101

@Rezz I like shark 🦈 week! True.

panda619

Can’t make everyone happy . Just move on

CuddleWho

Please ignore the people with attitudes. A few forum members really enjoy shitting on men who might be hurt and/or lonely. It seems to help them feel positively about their own lives.

That said, ultimately, Internet communication isn't like in-person communication, and consequently norms are different.

Being blocked doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Of the people I have blocked, a few are because they did something "wrong", but some I just don't like through no fault of their own, and still others I don't really have any problem with. There are even a couple people I've blocked who I'm really fond of. I just don't want to see them on CuddleComfort.

simsaddict

I don’t block anyone based on this reason, but I don’t respond if they come off annoying, or act entitled.
Not saying this is the same case, but even in written context, you can read a person.

Very well said CuddleWho. So sick of people on here jumping on new members to make themselves feel better about themselves

SCityCuddler

@CuddleWho I agree with you 100%.

zerocantaloupe

@CuddleWho But remember that it's a tragedy that men don't feel like they have anyone to talk to when they feel bad: https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/13762/men-is-this-your-reality/p1

Rezz

@bigspoon3220

No one is jumping down anyone's throat here.
Whatever her reason for blocking, it's hers and while we can speculate why it won't give him the answer he's looking for. Only they know what was in their exchanged messages. Only she knows why she blocked him. His post came across as a rant more than one seeking advice on how to increase his chances of a response. He feels owed an explanation or response that's never going to happen.

Yes it's frustrating but why focus on one lackluster experience that didn't result in a cuddle?

It's best to just move on and in the future limiting expectations in regards to a response. I think this is what most here are trying to say.

@Rezz
This was not aimed at “most.” There are some individuals who appear to comment simply to show how successful they’ve been on the site. That is in no way helpful in my opinion

Minestrone101

@Rezz Agree.

I think some folks are bringing their years of rejection or previous negative dating experiences into the public cuddling forum and making each transaction about that, instead of the actual cuddling exchange. That's a lot of baggage to place onto hugging someone.

There are ways to work on these issues in the long run, but I don't think a public forum is the best place to address this - I don't think I'll start talking about my student loans, credit score, or dating history here either. It's one thing to have an issue and to address it, but it's another to make it the focal point of every discussion. Maybe create a thread about how you can address it and work on it.

To add, if you feel you are unscrupulous and unable to be loved, that's not true : we are all beautiful and unique and creative and shiny in our way - sometimes it just takes some polish for that to be noticed.

zerocantaloupe

@FunCartel said "why cry over spilled milk?"

@pmvines ridiculed him for being a "46 yr old man on a pseudo social media site making a public fuss about being blocked by somebody" and said "be an adult, handle your feelings, move forward", which is basically the polite way of saying suck it up and man up.

@Rezz asked why he posted this in the forum and said that nobody owes him an explanation.

So he's been compared to a child, ridiculed for being too old to talk on a forum about his feelings, told to man up, and told that nobody owes him an explanation.

Rezz

@zerocantaloupe
Yeah don't put words in my mouth.
I said

I block people for all kinds of reasons. I don't owe any of them an explanation

Am I really going to take time out of my day to say

Hey ______ I'm blocking you now because ________.

🤣 No.

I've been blocked never once questioned it or cared enough to seek answers. They don't owe me anything and vice versa.

SCityCuddler

@zerocantaloupe

Don't forget another individual posted on this thread.

"They think some folks are bringing their years of rejection or previous negative dating experiences into the public cuddling forum."

I mean really!?! That's a slap in the OP's face. I feel like I should be apologising to the OP for how shitty he was treated here. I won't engage in this post anymore, theirs no point. I just think it's sad that a guy can't express his feelings here without being attacked. That is all.