Dating site?

Bobd

It appears more and more to me that this is more of a dating site than a place to find comfort.
Repeatedly I have started conversations over the last few years with cuddlers. Eventually they ask for a pic, and when I send them one, the next thing that happens is I get blocked. This has happened numerous times. It really hurts when that happens. I know I am not a great looking person, but I didn't know it is a requurement of this site.
Looks should not have anything to do with who you cuddle imo, it's supposed to be about the act of touch and warth...especially if they are professionals.
Seems like most I have come across are very shallow, uncaring individuals. Isn't cuddling about warth, caring and compassion for others? Maybe I am wrong, just tired of being hurt because I am not great looking.
I have met a few people here who are genuinely warm, caring cuddlers. Unfortunately none of them are close enough to be able to meet with more often.
Anyhow, I'll stop my rambling and try to find a way to get over being rejected again.
Have a nice day!

zerocantaloupe

I'm sorry you experience this. It stings every time.

CuddleComfort is not supposed to be a dating site, but the selection criteria closely tracks the dynamics of human sexual attraction.

beachb

Bobd - I know what you are saying. I agree. It has happened to me as well.

Hey there, sorry to hear you're having a rough time. It's hard out there when the way you are falls outside what the average person is seeking in spaces like this.

My experience outside this site is somewhat similar. People aren't repulsed by me...but they aren't attracted to me either. To most folks I'm neutral and they don't want to try anything unless they feel that "pull". I'm here specifically because I'm hoping to meet folks for whom that isn't the case since it isn't the case for me. We'll see how that works out.

Wishing you the best.

It's interesting to see this in the wake of the other longer thread asking if it's ok to only want to connect with people one finds attractive.

sunnysideup

Sorry for your experiences. While this is not a dating site, many people do select cuddle partners based on physical attraction.

However, there are many people that do not select cuddle partners based on physical attraction.

I hope you keep trying. In time you may find someone.

CuddleDuncan

In the absence of doing something bad (which you aren't), blocking is usually more about the blocker than the blockee. In other words even though it may feel like a rejection, it actually isn't. It's the blocker struggling to deal with something within themselves.

It is strange that it's happened so often to you though. I see you now have a picture on your profile, which is a better way forward anyway. Folks who don't have a face picture in their profile often attach one to their first or second message without discussion.

It shouldn't matter, but of course it does at least a little. In the modern world it doesn't hurt to have a wee portfolio of slightly flattering pictures of yourself, you never know when it might come in handy. Everybody you know has a camera with them all the time, including you, so it shouldn't be impossible to create.

Azaleas_Embrace

I'm sorry to hear that! I'm surprised tp even hear of that happening from professional cuddlers. I suppose I understand, that cuddlers do have a right to choose their cuddler. However, as a professional cuddler, I feel that it's far more necessary to be one for the service of providing warmth and relaxation to a person regardless of their looks. I'm sorry that is sounds like cuddlers in your area haven't been as compassionate. 😞

RainsCuddle

@Bobd Im really sorry that happen to you and you right, it shouldn't be about appearance at all, especially Pros. Im a Pro and the only time i ask a cuddler for a pic, its the day before we meet up irl, so I can reconize them. I think everyone should have access to affection & attention... 😔

WriterGF

It does seem odd if pros are doing that, unless there is also something else they are reacting to.

snugbuddy

It's surprising that pros would block you based only on your pictures considering of the miniscule profiles I've ready many have non discrimination statements and say they are open to people of all backgrounds. I think it's their right to see who they want but in light of these statements I've read it's surprising. But since I've read only a small fraction of one percent of profiles my knowledge of this is limited.

pmvines

Sorry that happened to you @Bobd . Is that with pros or.non pros ? For what hts worth, this is a large site made up of all walks of life . Some are not going to be nice, and many do tend to try to treat it like a hookup site . But that's not the intent nor purpose of the site, and csnt really call the site out as being something it's not due to some bad apples . Sorry for your situation, and hope it improves.

Bobd

It is happening with professionals, that is what is confuses me the most.

SunsetSnuggles

So sorry this has been happening to you. Seriously shows how shallow those people are, so in the end, they've spared you their immaturity. But of course it still hurts. Big hugs going out to you, and I'm open for a cuddle anytime you're in my area!

~ Sunset Snuggles

marcustanaka

@Bobd - @WriterGF has a point. The common factor with all these interactions is you.

If you are serious about finding out what is up, I would ask a few of the cuddlers you've had a positive online interaction with to read some of your messaging and see what is going wrong. Maybe even one of the active pros who rejected you might be open to tell you why.

Be careful because you may not like what you hear. Good luck.

Bobd

@marcustanaka
Based on the comments I have received and messages in this string, the common factor is not me, this is happening to others as well.
The few I have met and cuddled with, attest to me being a nice person to cuddle with. The common factor is that there are "Pro" cuddlers blocking potential customers simply based on how they look. Which is very sad.

BashfulLoner

Could it be sometimes we are just to good looking that the ladies feel they couldn’t control themselves in a platonic situation? They attraction is just primal so they want to keep there distance? That’s what it is. I think that’s what happens every time. That’s how I’m going to take it. Right?

I_Am_Not_A_Cat

It sucks, I get that. I found out first hand as apparently I'm more attractive bearded than without, and as soon as I grew a beard I got more responses.

I don't think caring about looks means it's a dating site. Most people (granted, not all), given a choice between someone they're attracted to and someone they aren't, barring no other major issue, are going to pick the one they're attracted to. Think about all the times you've gone grocery shopping, you go to checkout and there are two empty lines, one with someone you find very attractive, and one with someone you don't have an attraction to. Which one do you pick? If you go go to the attractive one, that doesn't mean the checkout line is for dating, or that you're making the checkout line into something sexual. People simply like looking at people they're attracted to. And you're not pressed up against the cashier for hours like you are with cuddling.

My advice? First, complaining in your profile about people not wanting to cuddle isn't going to help. Especially when they don't know you, as all they see is a little blurb about you. And if that blurb is negative? It can cause people to wonder if you're generally a negative person. And most women get inundated with messages, so finding quick ways to narrow down who to cuddle with is going to happen. And you're trying to get another PERSON to cuddle with, they aren't robots. What they want, prefer etc. matters just as much as what you want/prefer. It's not just about whether it seems fair to one person. It has to be something both people find fair.

Second, make yourself unique. Just like a story or news article often has a hook, you can have one as well. When I started here I had a very hard time getting responses. Then I saw this video of an attorney, via zoom, accidentally had a filter than made him look like a cat, and he tells the judge "I am not a cat"

I thought it was funny and I figured it was worth a shot. So I changed my name to I_Am_Not_A_Cat. I instantly got more responses, A LOT more responses. I've had people from the other side of the country, with zero intention of cuddling me due to distance, message me just because they like the name. I wanted a result, I wasn't getting it, so I used my brain to get it.

LionsFan

@Bobd Might be an age gap thing. When it happens to me, I move on quickly. I find a nice 90 minute massage cheaper and at least as satisfying. Great conversation and touch happens outside cc too.

netrunner

@Bobd Pros have it in their contract they are not allowed to discriminate based on the typical points such as race, gender, age, etc. They are allowed to take steps to ensure their safety, which is why most if not all require a photo, video call or some kind of meet up before the session along with have a conversation (usually on tye site) to get a sense of who they will be meeting. If you do feel like you're being discriminated against by Pros, you are encouraged to report them for us to investigate the issue.