And what are some things you do to combat that?
Before I started this job I've been at for the last 5 months I'd say about 90% of the time. Now I'd say it's down to probably 25%-30%. This site has helped a lot but so has getting my depression and anxiety treated with meds and therapy.
I walk out in public bare naked. I seem to attract police officers when I do this. They see me.
Used to kind of but then found out I had a congenital brain condition which is now being treated. The difference is like nite n day.
I'm on the opposite side of this. I savor feeling invisible. As things are, I feel watched by all my neighbors. (There was an incident where one elderly woman thought I was trying to steal her cat. She told all the neighbors and ever since, I feel like they just watch me and gossip all the time)(to be fair, Smokey was trying to move in with me). There are tenants in the apartments above and below me, and we can hear each other all the time. Like, I'll sneeze and get a text saying "bless you". It makes me feel safe, but sometimes I wish I had more privacy. I also love my partner, but he knows everything, even when I leave dirty dishes in my sink, when I haven't paid some bill. Sometimes I want more privacy around my messiness/ things I feel ashamed about. I love intimacy, but I also savor closing all my curtains and just diappearing to the world.
I'm no psychologist, and have no facts backing me up, but it seems one would have to be extroverted in order to notice that nobody else is taking notice. I don't know if I even explained that correctly.
@Tom2019 You only need eyes. And the OP was asking if you ever “feel” that way. So it is irrelevant if people are noticing or not if you feel no one is. For example, one can feel lonely at a party full of friends. Feelings have their own unexplainable logic.
@MxSmith that was a really nice thanks for sharing.
I feel invisible most of the time and I like it that way. I don’t like the thought of being noticed or the subject of gossip. This allows me to escape into my video games and not be bothered by the outside world 🤓
Every. Single. Day.
Thd only time I enjoy being alone is when im hiking and camping.
A certain level of invisibility feels extremely comforting and safe to me
I’ve felt that way most of my life. There’s not much I can do about it. Living with myself has been one big challenge for me
I cultivate being invisible at work. I'm a major introvert and prefer just to do my work and not be bothered by other people.
Yep. Typically if one on one, or in a small group I know well, it's less so though. But even then, sometimes that sense is just there.
I wonder if it's due to not being fully grounded or present that brings that on? Like maybe I'm just not on the same wavelength as others in those moments?
I'm going to try to remember this next time I'm feeling that way, just to see if I can pin point what the cause is, and to test what might cause a shift.
I feel completely invisible except when with my family, my direct coworkers, and my small group of friends. So any time I go out in public by myself. But I’m very lucky to have the friends and family that I have!
This thread gave me the courage to change my profile pic and show my face.
I don't usually, thankfully, in my life. But occasionally, specific instances make me feel that way.
Edited for privacy.
@cuddles_ndream lol relatable
@SSRequiescence lol
@FunCartel ~ So dapper and handsome!!
For me, I'm a sem-hermit who only sees pple for work and the occasional hangout with a friend (and the occasional dance social). I'm an outgoing introvert that likes my free time and likes to be unhindered by others.
I find the invisibility question comes down to two things for most people: negative - you don't feel seen or recognized by others nor appreciated, and the positive- you can get through your week unbothered and without anyone breaching your privacy.
For the former, as a rule I feel humans are social creatures - so even a hello, a praise , a notification, or a DM can change the course of someone's day. It's basically affirming your existence and value.
Personally, if you are of the former, I believe much of it is for you to recognize yourself first, to put yourself first, and to value yourself. People tend to mirror and treat you and value you the same way that you value yourself. Not to gaslight you or blame anything on anyone, I'm just saying that the more you put yourself first and can have positive self-talk and positive value for yourself then others will soon come around. Sometimes this might stem from long term neglect in some of your central social circles, but it is possible to reverse that imo.
Hope this helps and this didn't hurt anyone's feelings. Take care.
I was recently reading about safety and trust and found this post which opened up my eyes to why I possibly feel safer being invisible being out in public. Here's the url if anyone's interested in reading it
https://cptsdfoundation.org/2021/07/07/safe-vs-trust/
This issue is clearly very complex, and I didn't think it through enough before posting. I sincerely appreciate all the willingness to share, and I apologize for any soreness this thread may have caused.
@GreyingBear i really like this post! Very genuine , thought provoking 💭 and give us a chance to learn others on a deeper level, thanks for posting it 🌌 🙏🏻
I like this thread. Still mulling over whether I have anything to contribute. I think these kinds of threads are great for getting to know people. You do have to be willing to be vulnerable and I don't blame anyone for not being vulnerable on a public forum. I'm sure there are people here who won't post on this thread who would like to be part of this convo but are protecting themselves. Nothing wrong with that. I would say to those people that GreyingBear is as genuine and approachable as he comes across in this thread.
@cylee1180 Great post.
Good post, @ZuriEmlyn, and an excellent link. Thank you.
Yeah, I prefer being invisible (in the offline world) too. Being seen has its dangers! Blending into the background like one of a crowd of NPCs has its advantages. I combat visibility. Mimicking the body language of those around you, for one, can really help you vanish!
For those trying to stand out, maybe wear a different expression to the ones everyone else is. Stand differently. Talk differently. If you really want attention, try extended eye contact.
For better or worse, people will remember you!
All the time, it's what's made me realize I've got to stop caring about others, and only worry about myself. For too long I've helped, cared, provided. Yet, if the roles were reversed, I know full well I'm on my own. So, in the interest of equity, I've learned the lessons people have taught me. I don't matter, so nor do they. And, since then, life has improved tenfold.
And, it's helped, it all goes back to that lesson we learned as kids, "if you can't beat em, join em".
If people don't care if you're breathing or not, why should you feel any different.
It's freeing, truly.
Honestly, I used to struggle with these kinds of feelings a lot. Now, I welcome being able to blend in with a crowd. I'm the type of person who is more comfortable sitting at a table in the back of a bar watching and observing people than being the person on the dance floor commanding attention. With the work I do, I am absolutely the center of attention and the ringmaster of the show, as it were, so there's no escaping the spotlight. That's OK with me too. Guess I'm complicated.
@Finnegan2017 Complicated can make a good cuddle. Also what you said sounds very much in the good middle to me.