Many men seem to want women on here and its hard to get platonic cuddles . I just wish it was the other way around and women would respond to my texts . Oh well it is what is.
Sometimes with these types of posts / threads, I notice that the guys tend to internalize it and feel inefficient/ like there’s something wrong with them, and that couldn’t be further from the truth … this is my personal opinion and I’ll leave it at that and just hope that people don’t internalize it, regardless if it feels that way.
It's not easy for several people here. And I agree with @cuddles_ndream.
@achetocuddle ty
@jimboslice5014 sadly that wallet's gonna have to come out. That's the only way to get cuddles on here.
My experience mirrors what @RaveHeart is saying. If you want any cuddle sessions you have to pay (at which point finding people becomes very easy). If you are not willing or able to pay then your time is better spent trying to meet people in person. Finding pros is the only thing this site is good for.
I have noticed that.
If you're dead set on your preferred type of cuddler, yeah, you'll probably have to pay for her. If you're willing to settle for a cuddler who's not your preference, it might be easier to find them for free. Supply and demand: stereotypically attractive people are lower in number here, and highly demanded.
Good luck.
A few things to note:
Also:
My name is Jim and I love a plan-tonic relationship.
For the professional cuddlers , I will only even look at your inquires if I feel you are nurturing.
Just some suggestions that might help your search. Good luck.
@cylee1180 makes some good suggestions there.
@cylee1180 Really good points. I'm an outlier of sorts, but I won't even think about getting to know someone who won't show a pic where I can see their eyes well. Eyes say a lot.
Jimbo, Messaging first is so important sometimes. So is being genuine. The more messages you send the easier chatting will be in general. Try messaging your visitor's list. I'm older and wider than most people here and I've been pleasantly surprised by how many people have responded, even if it's just to wish me well.
@achetocuddle Hey Clay, do you mean your experience is wide?
I'm old too, on the inside. Dry aged 78 years. Lol A bit salted tho and smoked too.
@cylee1180 No, I meant physically wider. I should have put an Lol in there. I am glad I'm clarifying cause I really did not mean to type "wiser". Lol.
Jimbo, my point is don't be afraid to message. And it's not significant if you don't get a bunch of replies. This is what we all do to find our compatible people.
@achetocuddle - But wise also?
@cylee1180 On a regular day I do alright. Lol.
@achetocuddle 🐒🙈🙊 Nice to talk on this regular day!
I don't recall if I related this story about contra dancing. It won't hurt to repeat. Before Covid I was sometimes present at some contra dances. These are partnered dances that are not too different from folk dancing, with a caller, live music, and putting a variety of simple steps together into more complex arrangements. The exact balance of males and females was always off from 50/50, and really any gender is welcomed. A number of young guys were wearing peasant skirts, like at a Grateful Dead show back in the day, so that they could be of service as either dance role. My point? Some of us could do the same with cuddling. I think we probably should stop focusing on gender pairing, but of course I'm for preserving the option. I just mean that for something that is supposed to be platonic, it sure skirts the boundaries (like what I did there?). I've been having tremendously inconvenient finances for the past several months, and hiring pros has been out of the question most of the time. Besides, I feel so guilty spending money on cuddling. It reminds me of my past efforts to secure the feelings of human touch in a less wholesome manner. I've really gone on a tangent here but I'm sincere in wanting to try this with the right person. I am thinking a number of guys similarly interested in what I'm talking about might want to commit to same sex cuddling as an experiential journey towards uplifting the cuddle community (not going there with that pun). It should be obvious that I'm saying this is platonic. I'm just about to fix my profile to "cuddles: everyone". Alright. Anybody else?
How some, who have been on here for awhile now, still have this bizarre notion that the only way to get cuddles is with a wallet is beyond me.
Alternatives to shelling out money for cuddles might include you: Having a sense of humor Showing depth of character Being a decent human being (forum participation can go a long way) Displaying your empathy and understand for others Presenting yourself in a way that doesn't lead one to believe you're judgy (nobody needs to know how good looking or fit you think you are) By showing your capcity to participate in a grown-up conversation (complete thoughts/ sentences, proofreading and spellchecking are a great start) Being open/honest/vulnerable about what brings you here and what you have to offer
The list goes on... but I'll leave it at that, because the fact is, you can either put in the work on yourself and your presentation, and get cuddles. Or you can put in the work at your job and pay for them.
Tl;Dr Nothing is free or guaranteed. So if what you're doing isn't working for you, start working for/on yourself and fix it.
And fwiw, no you don't need to lower the bar on your standars. You need to elevate yourself to the standards of those you've dismissed.
@quixotic_life Love that last line.
@jimboslice5014 @cuddles_ndream You both are right Is hard to find cuddles here
In the beginning I was led to believe something is wrong with me.. lol.. The whole enthusiast section falls into that. It generally doesn’t work. Yes, there are exceptions…
Unless you are willing to pull out your wallet, you are not going to get cuddles.. and no issues with that.. professional cuddles is the only way to go… imho..
As others have mentioned, while this is not a dating site, it has some of the same characteristics. There are way more enthusiast men than enthusiast women, the women that are here get buried in messages, and there's no way of telling how many enthusiasts (of any gender) are serious about this as opposed to just window shopping.
In my area there are 7 enthusiast females cuddlers and 30 pro cuddlers that have been active the last week. I've noticed (at least in my 50 mile radius) is that any new female cuddlers tend to go pro to get the money.
So if the male to female ratio is 4:1, what happens when that female pro to enthusiast ratio is 4:1 as well. That basically puts the male to female enthusiast ratio at 4:0.25 in my area. It sucks but I'm not complaining, I honestly think getting a pro cuddler gives a better experience and cuddle results.
This is how I look at it:
If someone doesn't respond to your text, they're not the kind of person you would want to cuddle with anyway.
Don't dwell on it. And definitely take the advice others have given in this thread. You can save yourself the heartache by taking a break from the site until you've got extra money for a good cuddle. Don't even bother with enthusiasts and chances are you won't get ghosted.
While I agree with most of the posts here, I always get the sense that responders are missing a bit of empathy for the OP since they see this topic over and over again. I don't really know how that's fair to OP if they're new to the site and the forum; they don't know how things work around here, why not show a bit more understanding? And if you know you're a teeny bit annoyed from seeing the same topic over and over, why not just not respond as you may not have the capacity at that time to empathize with OP?
Anyway, as someone who has had some success and is open to cuddling with all genders I see issues with most pieces of advice:
Some people prefer to cuddle with specific genders, and they shouldn't feel forced to open that up with they don't want to. It's like telling a straight person to try dating their same gender when they can't find anyone, or telling someone very young or very old to date someone opposite their age. And yeah that's in the context of dating but truly this isn't much different aside from different feelings. It's still intimate pairing, unless you believe platonic connections cannot be intimate which I disagree with.
All the profile boosting - on one's profile and on the forum - does little if you live in an area with few people in your target demographic. This is compounded if you don't want to or can't pay pros. Telling someone they are expected to pay in any situation defeats the purpose of having enthusiasts on this site. It's no different from suggesting someone go to a site that only offers pro cuddling, as that would be FAR more efficient and less emotionally scarring. Yes you can get some traveling folks but, assuming that depends on your status on the forum...well, what if you just don't want to meet people who post here?
All in all, I'm always surprised that people always inevitably jump to providing solutions rather than simply allowing OP to feel what they feel. Not everyone is looking for a solution when they're posting a bid for connection.
@Momoo Not speaking for anybody else but myself, I wasn't telling OP to do anything. He opened up a topic, and I put stuff out there. The topic often meanders a bit, which I like because we are a diverse crowd and we don't all think the same.
@Momoo To be fair, the title of this thread was posed as a question, it's only natural for people to offer solutions. OP is clearly having trouble finding cuddles, I don't see anything wrong with the advice given so far
Ill throw my 2 cents cuz thatd exactly what its worth, first of all chin up eventually yoy cuddle with someone and theyll respond, 2.. man up stop with your boo hooing for goodness sake and if you got no cash or cant afford to cuddle your not gonna get it in your geographical area jimboslice5014
Hey nothings easy... Until it is. Dating apps and the like are generally miserable and this is no different there. Looking for the unlikely exception to the way it usually goes is the name of the game. The difference here is if youre open to a business relationship i suppose.
Hmm, let me check quixotic's list
Presenting yourself in a way that doesn't lead one to believe you're judgy
But judgmental is my middle name! Ah, well....
Carino I was not boo hooing . I was indeed asking for what you all would do . Also man up is offensive ! I have struggled with mental health all my life and one thing that would really piss me off was when someone told me to man up .
As for my feelings solutions are always welcome and I appreciate them . However condescending will not fly and I will write a negative karma for carino .
@jimboslice5014 FYI, I believe you cannot leave karma until you have exchanged a minimum of three messages with someone. It's designed to comment on people you have cuddled with, not posts you don't like. For posts, you report to moderators.