Why is it that men are so very particular about a woman physically (Looks), but then they are not Mr in shape, or drop dead gorgeous either. I'm not on here for the looks, but that's just me.
I agree that looking for cuddle buddies who are stereotypically attractive is... a yellow flag at least.
That said, I have yet to meet even one person of any sex or gender who was only attracted to people whose looks were comparable to their own. What, ones don't think tens are hot?
The rest is just a matter of hope. Shoot for the stars, right?
I'd like it if fewer people prioritized stereotypical attractiveness on a platonic site like this one. But plenty of people do prioritize that, and obviously those people want the best looking buddy they can get. So they'll turn it around: "Looks don't matter here, so cuddle me, you stunner."
Huh? How did you come up to this conclusion? I never hear about men discussing women's looks on this forum
Yeah. It's a thing. Some men are hoping to find pseudo girlfriends or hope very attractive younger pros will want to be their friends and cuddle for free. Who knows.
@cylee1180 😂😂😂 love SNL.
The OP's question assumes the truth of the generalization it contains. Some men are particular about looks, and some men aren't. Some women are equally particular about looks, and some women aren't. I have been happy to cuddle with women from across a wide range of age, size, shape, color, etc. I've never been "so very particular" about what a potential cuddle partner looks like. On the other hand, I've seen more than a couple of women enthusiasts who posted that they are not about to cuddle with a man they don't find attractive. I know several of my promising conversations with female cuddlers ended abruptly when I shared my photo.
People just want what they want, and they can't always articulate a reason why. And that's fine. As Blue Iris was fond of saying... "Next!"
Huh I never Really thought about anything like this until now
I have found that to be particularly true in dating life especially. It's like um your not exactly hot and yet your expecting a model... Um ok gotcha...
I promise you plenty of women care a lot about the appearance of men they cuddle.
But given that you’re a pro, presumably the men you’re talking to are considering paying for a cuddle. Why is it surprising that they want to cuddle someone who is out of their league? He may not bother to pursue such a woman in a dating context, but if he’s paying for her presence that’s a different story.
@yoda96 same
@CuddleWho this
OKCupid did a classic study on this and unrealistic expectations in dating. They found that men message only the most attractive women, so you could say they are always trying their luck,
… while women rate 80% of men as below average in looks, so you could say they are always complaining about the selection,
@cde123 123 these graphs are fascinating! I have not seen them before.
But the overall message is simple and well known: Go Ugly, Early.
I’m ugly but I: a) make sure I’m clean and b) try to make myself look as nice as possible
@cde123 - Those graphs are interesting, but as you say, they are based on dating sites. I'm fairly certain that they would look quite different if the data had come from CC.
I also wonder about the methodology of rating the relative attractiveness of either women or men on a dating site. The difficulty of ranking attractiveness on CC, where so many people have no photos.
It's interesting that you assume only men do this.
To answer the question, people like what they like. They have preferences. It's not always sexual or romance-based either. I've known people to choose their friends based on physical preference. There is no one governing rule or standard that dictates who a person should be attracted to.
If Bubba Joe has 4 chins, a widow's peak, and sweats when he rolls over, who are we to tell him that he can't desire a super model? That's what Bubba likes. Let Bubba be.
@cde123
They found that men message only the most attractive women
That is most definitely not what they found and most definitely not what that graph shows. They did find that men messaged attractive women more (is that a surprise to anyone?), but average and below average women definitely received messages too.
Personal Generalizations are often based to little information and larger studies often show many more data points are involved in coming to any good conclusion.
Ie. I’m sure i message more women in My state than i do Utah. Also i message people who interact with me more often than others. Are some of the ones who interact with me in the 90th percentile of attractiveness? Maybe but that’s up to someone else’s opinion so…. I’m not sure that tells you much.
@cylee1180 funny SNL video 😂🤣
@JBearz i really like your reply 💯 % agree.
"Why is it that men are so very particular about a woman physically (Looks), but then they are not Mr in shape, or drop dead gorgeous either."
Here are a few things to consider:
1) The traditional exchange in relationships has been that men provide power, status, and resources (i.e., money) in exchange for the youth and beauty of women. This still holds true today. Look up Harvey Weinstein and wife, or Quentin Tarantino and wife, or Donald Trump and wife. It's pretty clear that these (mostly) beautiful women didn't marry for looks. Most men are aware of this dynamic, so they may feel that they make up in resources what they lack in looks.
2) Even excluding the extreme cases of celebrities-with-models, most men have seen examples of pretty women with average-or-worse-looking men in real life, so it seems attainable for them. What they may choose to ignore is that the Internet changes things. In real life, women have historically been focused less on looks and more on things like emotional fulfillment, commitment, and being with a "good provider" (not necessarily a wealthy one). On the Internet, where women have near-endless choices, it tends to promote extreme window shopping and pickiness, and much of "choosing" is based on pictures. There are many online complaints from average-looking and even good-looking men who say they never get any likes on social meetup sites.
3) As others have pointed out, its not just men. On dating sites, I've been "liked" by many, many women who are older and not very physically attractive (IMO), leaving me to think "What makes these women think I'm an appropriate match for them?" I'm sure that I've "liked" some women that thought they were out of my league, as well.
Generally, research has shown that most people "shoot out of their league" by at least 25% on social meetup sites.
4) Despite what some here want to continuously claim, cuddling is not "completely platonic" mentally except for very rare exceptions (of course, you can keep it platonic physically by abstaining from certain behaviors). Most people have physical preferences for who they like to cuddle with. I met an enthusiast here recently who insisted she didn't care about "attractiveness," and in fact specifically wanted someone she didn't find "attractive" to ensure it would remain platonic. Then she confessed that she preferred "bigger" guys because they made her feel "protected." Sorry, but that counts as "attractive."
" I'm not on here for the looks, but that's just me."
If you weren't charging for your company, would you be more particular about looks when choosing a cuddling partner?
@cde123 I think what that graph shows is that statistically, men value looks more than women do. Which makes sense as that's generally considered to be common knowledge?
@JBearz I think when Bubba complains that he can't get a date, then we can rightfully criticize his lack of knowing where he lands on the attractiveness meter. Though luckily for Bubba, there are plenty of women that will supposedly, atleast according to the above graphs, look beyond his looks.
@FitSmartCuddler home run analysis.
I'll believe the premise of this thread when I don't get ghosted literally every single time I send a picture of myself to a woman online after they ask for it. It doesn't matter their attractiveness...it happens every single time.
Meanwhile, we'll have "body positivity" for women and unrelenting high expectations for men.
And don't try to be cheeky and send a message asking for my picture so you can respond once and be like "gotcha!" It's not entertaining.
@teddybear888 Thanks!
@sunnysideup fair enough
@zerocantaloupe Preach
@zerocantaloupe said "I'll believe the premise of this thread when I don't get ghosted literally every single time I send a picture of myself to a woman online after they ask for it. It doesn't matter their attractiveness...it happens every single time."
I don't know what you look like, but the law of supply and demand says that if you're messaging women you think are your "equivalent," you're at a disadvantage. She'll have way more options than you do. See the woman in the "Briefs" photo you posted? She'd have a way easier time meeting someone online than I do even though I'm fit and she's substantially overweight.
@FitSmartCuddler All true. I have given up, and now I just focus on improving myself and hiring pros occasionally. There's no point now that the world is flat (in the Thomas Friedman sense).
I love that Analytics/ Graphs 📈/ probability/ and quite simply Math got added to this thread lol
Also @zerocantaloupe and other guys: keep in mind that we're dealing with a primarily physical commodity here, which plays more to what men value (generally speaking). If this was a website where men were seeking women to whom they would offer love, romance, respectful courtship, and commitment, and there was some way to prove their sincerity, you'd get a lot more responses. :-)
@FitSmartCuddler My experience has been that women also highly value the physical in their 20s, and then they've "had their fun" and "want a real man" once their biological clock starts ticking louder.
This dating strategy is endorsed by our president:
@briel I don't doubt that men on the site are looking for a cuddler that is attractive. For me my expectations are that the when meeting a cuddler in person they resemble their profile photo.
I also sense that also that I get judged on looks. I feel some prefer not to cuddle with some with a beard like mine. To each their own.