Multiple account deactivations / deletions....

WiserGuy3000

Hi all:

So in the past week, two of the three pro cuddlers I have seen (in my relatively small town, and in my ~6 months on CC) have deactivated their accounts. And one new local enthusiast cuddler, who I'd traded a couple of messages with, has deleted her account.

This is making me a little paranoid -- are they leaving because of ME? Logically, I know it isn't. I've texted with one of the pros (who I hadn't been in touch with for a month or so), and she's told me she's just taking a break from new clients, but she was happy to hear from me and we could still have a session. The other pro has gone radio silent, so I'm a bit more concerned about her. She and I had been texting regularly since our first appointment, had made tentative plans for the next one, but then she stopped answering texts and shortly thereafter deactivated her account.

The enthusiast told me she was new to the site, just looking around and figuring out how everything works. I'm sure plenty of people create accounts and then delete them in the first week, if they find CC isn't for them.

So again, logically -- I know I'm not the center of the universe (!!) and I know this is just a weird coincidence that has nothing to do with me. But the fact that this all happened in the same week is super odd.

Curious: do there tend to be more deactivations around this time of year, as people get busy for the holidays? Or is this just a weird quirk, and I should stop trying to find meaning?

Minestrone101

I think cuddling is kind of a volatile niche activity for now. Lots of enthusiasts/pros deactivate regularly and regular forum members. Don't take it personally. I think it's still being marginalized and being misunderstood in addition to gaining popularity

Jubal

For what it's worth, it's not you. My messages and favorites lists are full of profiles that have been deactivated, paused, banned, etc.

Sideon

@WiserGuy3000 - it's not you.

Even us moderators will deactivate on occasion. Pros do it regularly, as they are bombarded with messages, and deactivation serves as a firewall until and unless they're ready to plow through those messages. Enthusiasts also deactivate regularly.

Don't take it personally.

zerocantaloupe

Well I mean, there are philosophers that argue that only your own mind can be proven to exist ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solipsism )...

But yeah, it's not you.

TheFunCartel

People deactivate for a million different reasons. I do when I am swamped with work because I would rather not receive messages than to let them go unanswered. Doesn’t require a philosopher to figure that out.

SunsetSnuggles

People deactivate as a way of taking a break from the site. Could be for any number of reasons; positive, negative, or neutral. And yes, newbies delete frequently. They are often just kind of curious but not ready to take the plunge. 💦

~ Sunset Snuggles

OhioMike

@FunCartel 👍 Same!

VaniRae31

I didn’t deactivate but I did go on about a six month hiatus a few months after I had joined the site at one point because the activity in my area just completely dropped. I was logging on daily and was seeing that others hadn’t been active for weeks if not months. It was a bit demoralizing. But since coming back I’ve taken a more active role in forums and taking the time to try and get to know people that way and I’ve been happy here ever since!

One thing I will say is that as a pro I get a lot of what’s called “trauma dumping” in my line of work (outside of cuddling). Without a good self-care routine (that focuses heavily on mental and emotional personal care) you can very easily become overwhelmed and burnout so frequent breaks may be necessary for some.

CuddleDuncan

One of the twists in the cuddle world is that the standard deviation seems to be much higher than you might expect. (I have observed this in a number of contexts.) Or, to put it another way, the number of times that X happens in one specific month can be very different from the number of times that X happens per month on average.

Or, to put it another way, the OP is implicitly claiming that the number of deactivations in a certain area over the last week is unusually high. Without significantly more data, I am not willing to accept that claim.

Moreover, the shorter the timescale and the smaller the sample area the more pronounced the effect will be. Two out of three professionals deactivating in the same week strikes me as ... not even a coincidence. Just a statisically normal fluctuation.

WiserGuy3000

Thanks all. I feel better now!!

@CuddleDuncan, I did not do very well in my college stats classes. Can you tell??