Don't you hate it when folks front like they just wanna cuddle, but all they really want is to smash?
We all do, yes. And we report those people so they'll get kicked off the site and leave it for us that actually want cuddles.
It's a constant fight because more keep joining, but....
Would you rather cuddle with someone you are not attracted to just because it's easier to resist temptation?
@touchofpassion: Attracted sexually, you mean? Fortunately for me I don't experience that form of attraction so it's not an issue—there are other perfectly lovely platonic forms of attraction that I do experience, and I think those ought to be safe for anybody.
There's aesthetic attraction (the draw to look) and physical attraction (the draw to touch), for instance. Here's a picture of something I'm attracted to in both those ways! I look for this kind of draw to my cuddle buddies.
If I did experience sexual attraction to anyone on here, I think I'd block them! Wouldn't you?
I think its better to set clear boundaries for others and yourself rather than focusing on temptation and desire. If you're hoping that cuddling will fill a need beyond platonic purposes ,or fill an emotional or relationship void, then you might be disappointed.
It's like social dancing to me: you'll have different connections w different pple, but the connection doesn't mean I want to marry them or even spend time with them beyond the dance, but we can still appreciate the dance.
Good metaphor, @cylee1180.
@DaringSprinter Yeah, I don't think it's wrong to have an attraction or emotional infatuation with someone, as long as you realize what it is and you can focus on the cuddle and having a good experience.
@cylee1180: I've always heard sexual attraction described as something intense and overwhelming.
I was raised—well, you know how I was raised. The idea of it being understandable to "stumble" if the temptation was great enough is one I've steeped in for literal decades. And it's not like I have personal experience. Ah, the gift of Paul.
Anyway, it makes far more sense that sexual attraction wouldn't be a will-overpowering force. Self-control is a thing.
@DaringSprinter Imo, it's one of many biological urges: power, greed, lust, emotions (esp. Anger or jealousy), survival, etc.
The reason it's demonized is bc different cultures have different perspectives on sexual desire - by and large, the cultures that moralize it, repress it, or forbid it tends to have higher incidents of sexual deviance or neuroses. My feeling is that it's like a river (similar to emotions) - if you try to stop it up too much it'll spill over or take an alternate course in other avenues of life.
But, its nothing more than a biological urge imo - we also crave money and power...it doesn't mean we should remove promotions and paychecks from our lives bc of our urges to acquire them.
@cylee1180: Right. Unless you literally can't stop yourself from hurting people when you see a paycheck in front of you, it doesn't make sense to cut paychecks out of your life entirely!
I really hate the upbringing I had—especially the idea that if a man rapes a woman it's the woman's fault for being attractive and "causing a brother to stumble." Makes any orientation other than asexual seem like a curse. My orientation isn't a blessing or a gift; it's just a normal human variation.
Still. I have attitudes to unlearn. Thanks for helping with that!
@DaringSprinter Yeah. There's an attitude among clergymen of faiths that if a saint/guru is tempted, that it's the woman's fault...that they're inherently sinful and that women are simply a weakness or an object of lust and they can't be trusted. Pretty sick stuff for admitting you don't have full control of your mind or heart or concentration.
The funny thing is that on one hand, sex is demonized, and on the other hand sex is 'sexualized' (it's not overly glorious either). People are funny species.
I've developed a strong emotional attachment to a woman half my age, who lives in a different state, and I've who I've never actually met. She appears to reciprocate the attachment. I have no idea what to think about it.
@GreatHornedOwl Careful. It's likely "she" is actually some 20-something year old dude in a Djibouti internet cafe. Pretty soon "she" will start having financial and/or legal difficulties and will begin pleading with you for assistance. That is, to prove you really love her, "she" will say.
This is tricky, because I strongly believe sex work should be legal and safe. It's called the "world's oldest profession" for a reason -- there will always be a market for it, and it will never, ever go away.
I think it's an important service, and I speak as a divorced man, not even close to being ready for another relationship, but still with intimacy needs. Cuddling fulfills the non-platonic side of those needs, but not the sexual portion.
I am certain that there are some people on both sides of the cuddle relationship (pros and clients, maybe even enthusiasts) using sites like CC as a "front" for sexual services. Once two consenting adults are behind closed doors, especially if they're on a bed, who knows what will happen? On the one hand, I hate that because it's a clear violation of CC's terms of conduct, and it makes it more difficult to know who is truly here for platonic-only services. Female pros especially, I'm sure you always have to be on guard against this.
On the other hand, this is the only way for consenting adults in the US to seek out or offer sex work. It has to be hidden, secretive, couched in non-specific language, disguised as something else -- massage, cuddling, etc. If all of this could just be out in the open, people wanting sex work could go somewhere other than CC to find it, and no one here would have to worry about it. That's what I wish.
@TxTom - I've run into a few of those. They usually claim to live near by. They tend to be rather glamorous. They also tend to be very impatient, and start wanting money after 3 or 4 days.
This one is cute, but not what one would call glamorous. It has also now been going for weeks, with no request for money
Attraction is multi-faceted, as some have noted.......physical attraction includes being drawn to any aspect of the physical form, including the body, face, eyes, hair, etc. However, this is misleading, as the smile is certainly a part of the body (mouth), yet it is an expression of soul/heart. Thus, the separation of body from soul and spirit is a questionable practice in many instances. We are attracted to a multitude of aspects of other humans.....and I myself celebrate such attraction. I thrive on it. And I definitely want it in my cuddle sessions!
Funny enough, since becoming a professional cuddler, the last four years, that has actually minimized in my life.
Being an "aesthetically attractive" individual with a college degree and an IQ over 130, ask me how lonely it can feel to not be appreciated for who I am, vs what I can bring. I like my brain and personality to be appreciated just like the next person.
I know, boo hoo... 😂😂 good genetics is all it is and it will eventually fade.
but let me tell you something. There are more people on here wanting to connect vs. wanting to "smash." The bad apples just stick out more.
Best of luck in your cuddle adventures. 💓
Just chiming in to say sex work is not legitimate work. It is an imperialist/colonial construct that harms oppressed people. Choice feminists say it’s legitimate because they have the privilege to not be most harmed by the market for it. Decriminalizing it makes it safer but legalizing it is abhorrent. If a client ever attempted to solicit me I would be traumatized, not simply disturbed. And so I would have to discontinue using this app.
@MissAdventurous - You are a perfect example of my belief that the one part of a woman's body that is most interesting, is the part that's between her ears.
@Eileen_98144 - There are many women who believe that sex work is legit8imate work, and would gladly take up the profession, if only it were legal. You are certainly entitled to act on your belief. Why should we deprive those who don't share your belief, of the right to exercise their belief? Is it not similar to the abortion question, where one group of people believe that they are entitled to impose their moral/ethical/religious beliefs on everybody else?
There are places in the world where sex work is legal. In those locations, is anybody worse off than they would be if it were not legal?
@GreatHornedOwl they are the choice feminists I speak of. I am now 33 but as a teenager I lived in an area rife with sex trafficking and did my Sr Research paper on it. There’s no argument for it being ethical. It’s exchanging capital for sex. That power dynamic’s inherently wrong. It’s like saying “porn is legal so it’s okay” meanwhile ignoring the extent of coercion and child trafficking that it involves. And I find it curious that you are speaking on behalf of women against me, a woman. Maybe stay in your lane?
@Eileen_98144 I have to ask these questions. If sex work, meaning as you say "exchanging capital for sex," were to be made legal, how would it cease to be ethical? What is the power dynamic that's "inherently wrong?" There's a lot more I could say about your comments, but I'll wait for answers to these questions.
@Eileen_98144 - I'm not not speaking on behalf of women. Rather, I'm speaking on behalf of all who desire not to have other's beliefs imposed on them. I'm speaking on behalf of everybody who desires freedom. I'm speaking on behalf of all humanity. I am most certainly in my lane.
Every time that we legislate against something that harms nobody, we do loads more harm than good. If sex work were legal and well regulated, there would be far less sex trafficking, less disease, and probably fewer rapes. If abortions were legal and well regulated there would be far fewer overdose deaths. If currently banned drugs were legal and well regulated there would be far fewer overdose deaths, and organized crime would become less powerful.
In much of the world, being in the LGBTQ community, is severely punished. In some places, it is punished by death. Who is harmed by the existence of the LGBTQ community? Until Loving v. Virginia, in 1967, inter racial marriage was illegal in much of this country, Even the bigots couldn't find any reason for those laws except that inter racial marriage "violates the natural order." Double speak meaning that it offended them, so they wanted it illegal for everybody, even though it harmed absolutely nobody.
How many such examples do I need to point out, before bigots recognize them for what they are?
You state that there’s no argument for sex work "being ethical." You claim that sex work is inherently wrong. Being that there is no universal set of ethics, I would think that it would difficult to substantiate those claims, without merely relying on your own beliefs.
Finally, even if I were only speaking for women, I wonder who gave the authority to suggest that I should stay in my own lane. Is a man not allowed to speak for women? You suggest that because you are a woman, your opinion on a female issue must be "right," and because I am a man, man, my opinion has no value, and should not be expressed. I resent that.
touchofpassion has deleted.
@GreatHornedOwl I agree.
YUPPERS, report block and delete lol I don’t have time for that. I legitimately wanna snuggle and be snuggled
@Eileen_98144 Thanks for the perspective.
Disregarding the site we are on, because it might feel different here. But it seems like i get excited when some one just wants to smash. I mean, it’s a rare thing to run into, kind of like a unicorn or a yeti(btw, I’ve met a few yeti’s)
Dontcha hate it when folks create accounts, post once in the forums, and delete/deactivate?
Next.