Feeling rather upset.

Andy1996

So, I am feeling rather upset. I was video chatting with my girlfriend I believe it was on Wednesday of last week. She then asked me what this website was. Because I found out that my sister sent her the website link. And I then also found out that my sister told my girlfriend to be careful because I might be cheating on her meeting with people that like to cuddle. And so, she then asked me what the website was all about.
I just explain to her that there is nothing sexual allowed on this website. So she then confirmed this with me. Because she looked at the policies herself. So essentially she thanked me for being honest and explaining what this website was all about. I am just upset, because my sister has a tendency through looking through my phone when I need help with homework and things like that. And I am visually impaired so I turned off the screen reader on my phone that way she could supposedly help. And she then so happened to look at messages that me and the promo exchanging at the time. I am really getting tired of what she’s doing.
I also found out, that she told my girlfriend to make a profile to supposedly catch me talking with cuddlers. And she then told me herself that she did not feel comfortable doing that because of sharing her location. And she is personally not interested in doing this herself.
So I really would like to know how to deal with this. Because I am really getting tired of her stuff.

Minestrone101

Well, imo first the issue is not the activity of cuddling but doing this behind her back. That's a breach of trust imo. Second, you didn't seem to discuss the boundaries of the relationship and how cuddling or other activities fall under it. I recommend more communication, more boundaries, and more consent . Third, just bc you may be comfortable with cuddling other people, (even if it's innocent in your eyes), it doesn't mean she is comfortable with it - you gotta respect her point of view Even some people have different definitions of cheating. Maybe she doesn't understand the purpose or activity of platonic cuddling and you have to explain it to her - and not your sister.

I guess the major takeaways is: communication, and ask yourself why you had to keep this a secret from your SO? Best of luck!

Midnight01

You have a girlfriend and you use the website behind her back? REMOVED How do you think that makes her feel?

Watch it, @Midnight01 - no personal attacks. It's not welcome nor warranted.[-Sid]

HumbleBaron

What if she reads this discussion ?

Andy1996

As I mentioned in my post. When she asked me what it was all about I explained. And she thanked me for being honest.

lsuhugger

Tell your sister to mind her own business and not violate your privacy, then work on not hiding things from your GF so your sister has nothing to tell your GF if she does this again. Pretty simple fix for this one

Andy1996

I totally know where you’re coming from. When I mentioned what this website was. She did thank you for being honest. And unfortunately she did mention that other people would have most likely lied to her about it.

lsuhugger

It's good that she thanked you but she still only found out after your sister told her. You dodged a huge bullet and you're lucky your GF is understanding. A lot of relationships end over less. Just saying, be up front about everything with her, especially if there's even a chance that she could take it the wrong way.

Ironman294

@Andy1996 Why don’t you cuddle with your girlfriend and it seems your sister likes your gf more than you. That’s weird. You should talk to your sister also and discuss boundaries. She should have talked to you first and asked you about the site.
Also won’t your gf see this now? Or is that the idea?

TNNative

I may be confused ... is you question about what to do regarding the poor boundaries of your sister or is your question about your girlfriend?

To me it seems like you and your girl are talking, however you might have wanted to tell her before anyone had a chance to tattle on you. Keep talking to your girl. Share with her your thoughts and feelings, and make changes regarding your use of cuddle based on those conversations if the relationship is serious.

And Yes, I used the word tattle above because I associate that with what siblings do. I believe another conversation is warranted with your sister about her behavior and her taking advantage and snooping on you.

Andy1996

I actually has cuddled with her a few times. In fact, I did it this weekend. This is essentially a combination of both. I intended to tell her about it. But I just did not know how she was going to react.
Here’s the thing though, even if I tell my sister about this. She just really not listening. And I always bring up a counter argument, if someone needed me to help them with their phone I would help them with whatever they needed and simply had the phone back to them.

wrench

If you cant find comfort cuddling your girlfriend and need to pay pros you probably are in the wrong relationship or cuddling strangers is a higher priority than paying attention to your gf

Midnight01

You are a clown. You mention twice that your gf thanked YOU for being honest. While you were being dis honest from the jump. Definitely an unhealthy relationship.

Welcome to 7 days forum timeout. NO personal attacks. Do not. [-Sid]

Andy1996

What on earth are you talking about?

MissAdventurous

The thing is, boundaries are a real and healthy thing in most situations, your relationship is with your girlfriend. Not your sister. Get an actual professional to help with those issues and move on when it comes to communication because what she is doing, even for your better well being are still your decisions, regardless of you health/lifestyle needs.

The line of honesty is tricky. What is honesty? What is honesty to you? What are you willing to compromise and what is just us as an individual. You've done nothing but be transparent. If that align to your own lifestyle needs, that's it. If anyone, regardless of reason, will not allow that, do not allow that much influence in your life as an adult individual with a real assessment on what YOU NEED.

I am curious how people in relationships do handle this issue. I’m single but I’ve chatted with people who have partners but use this site. I would hope their partner is aware of this because I personally wouldn’t want to be the source of drama for any relationship.

pmvines

Not really sure this is the appropriate place to be asking how to handle your sibling differences

stormydaycuddle

Old posts coming to life… @pmvines people ask everything on the forums. Are you surprised? Also, @CatGirlColorado welcome to CC. Since you’re an enthusiast I’m going to suggest you ask and only do what you feel comfy with. As a pro it gets tricky. Clients have a tendency of divulging this info mid cuddle. I’ve come to this conclusion. As a professional it’s none of my business to defend or ask the boundaries of someone’s relationship. Am I going to take them back as a client if I feel something is off? Absolutely not. Still I’ve had plenty of married men on the right side of their relationships as clients and several I chose not to rebook with. But it’s not my job to ask or police. As a pro cuddling should be more akin to a service provided. A warm, cozy service but a service none the less.

Mike403

@pmvines - If it isn't something that breaks the ToS or trolling, I don't see an issue with them asking anything in the forums. Somebody might reply with something that's helpful. If the topic isn't relevant to you, you can ignore and scroll passed it..

pmvines

@Mike403 I don't see an issue with it,.just not really the right platform for help with that sort of thing.

TheFunCartel

@Andy1996 I think a fishing boat and googling Fredo will answer a lot of your questions.