Mutuality between pros and clients

NourishinNorski

I’m curious to hear the perspectives of both cuddlers and pros about the topic of whether a session should be mutually enjoyable and enriching to the client and the pro. I’ve had multiple cuddlers mention that they want me to get something out of the session besides financial compensation. I mentioned this to my therapist (yay, for mental health!) and she warned me that it’s dangerous for a provider to get anything emotionally out of a session with a client, at least in the mental health field. I’ve had a few clients so far whose company I’ve enjoyed so much that I would seriously consider not charging them for sessions if I weren’t in a serious relationship. Is this a problem?

Cuddlers: do you want your pro to enjoy the session or be entirely focused on your needs and desires?

Pros: do you feel uncomfortable enjoying sessions with certain clients? How do you know when you’ve become too emotionally invested?

zerocantaloupe

Minestrone101

Enjoy it. Set boundaries. Try to compartmentalize your feelings. You can charge and still enjoy - we all gotta eat right?

Also, is mutuality a word? Sounds like a finishing move from Mortal Kombat.

"It's about the principalities of the thing." -Friday

trysdet

Sad, cries, hug

NourishinNorski

@zerocantaloupe haha, fitting clip. But I’m also now wondering what your deeper message was 🤔 I could see it being interpreted in a few ways.

NourishinNorski

@cylee1180

It absolutely is a word 😀

Minestrone101

@cuddlezandhugz Mind blown! You win! Mutuality! (*score rings up)

NourishinNorski

@cylee1180

Thank you, thank you curtsies dramatically

I respect a person who can admit defeat! 😉

Sheena123

As a pro, my cuddlers know where my line is drawn. They know I’m happily married so anything beyond a mutual, platonic connection will never happen. I’m friends with a lot of my cuddlers and I’ve been doing this for over three and a half years.

I have some cuddlers that want to continuously make sure my time is spent being comforted. Just depends 🤷🏻‍♀️ Definitely have that conversation prior to cuddling in some form or another.

JBearz

(Not a pro)

The reason I cuddle is because I enjoy making others feel comforted physically and I don't get that opportunity in every day life, so I absolutely want my cuddler to enjoy it. Basically, I'm paying people to let me make them feel good...is that weird?

zerocantaloupe

@cuddlezandhugz I don’t know if there was a deeper meaning…I usually just post silly things.

NourishinNorski

@Sheena123

I’m in a serious relationship too (my boyfriend is supposedly planning to propose in the next month or so 😀) so I definitely make it clear that I can’t do anything non-platonic in any session. I’m never concerned about personally crossing physical boundaries, but I am more concerned about getting too emotionally invested in cuddlers I really connect with. I’d be curious to hear any tips you might have about being married while professionally cuddling. I’m new to this, so there’s been a steep learning curve so far and I know I have so much more to learn!

NourishinNorski

@JBearz

You sound like a really caring, selfless person 😊 I don’t think it’s weird, and I think it could be healthy, as long as you’re getting something out of it (even if it is just the simple enjoyment of making someone else feel good).

CuddlezandHugz, absolutely should be enjoyable for both. You as the one being paid should get as much pleasure from the interaction as the one paying. It would seem so unfair otherwise.
On the topic of giving a session free to one’s you think to do, also seems fair, it’s still platonic and still have the OK from Your partner to engage in
I as a cuddler would feel some sadness if the person I hired or had a session with did Not get something good out of it

NourishinNorski

@zerocantaloupe

It was pretty amazing how quickly you whipped out a very relevant clip haha. I like the levity it brought. I’m an over-thinker so I’m always reading between the lines 😅 good to know there’s nothing more to it besides just some humor!

NourishinNorski

@Julesocean

Thanks for adding your perspective! I think you make some good points. I’ll have to think more about that 😊 it’s true that it would still be platonic if I didn’t charge, but I do think not charging changes the dynamics a bit, and would make it feel more like emotional cheating, which is why I’m hesitant to ever do that, even though part of me would want to. I have brought it up to my partner and he seemed a bit uncomfortable with me not charging people I cuddle with. So not much leeway there unfortunately.

Hahaha, cuddlezandhugz, bless your heart for being so open with your soon to maybe be your husband, and upon further thought. Believe your right on about emotional connections maybe being emotional cheating
I hope you find the path that makes you happiest, and that you find comfort as you navigate your curiosities
Also thank you for the reply

JBearz

@cuddlezandhugz Thank you, that definitely makes me feel better😁!

And on the topic of not charging for cuddles, I definitely see how that can change the dynamic in your existing relationship. As an enthusiast, I would be absolutely estatic if a pro decided to stop charging me but at that point we are no longer "client & professional", just "cuddle buddies" which has many different definitions depending on who you ask. Even if you yourself knows it's platonic.

Minestrone101

@cuddlezandhugz Cool. Charlie Sheen.

Besides all that, gotta be a bit more of an a$$hole. Lol I actually feel if I had learned that earlier on, I could have saved myself a lot of heart break. Lol. If ya can't do that, just practice saying no to pple. Best of luck on proposal!

zerocantaloupe

@cuddlezandhugz I have a photographic memory for nonsense and only nonsense. Not very helpful in my career, though

NourishinNorski

@Julesocean

Thank you! Appreciate your kindness 🥰

NourishinNorski

@JBearz

Glad to validate you 😊

And yeah, I totally agree. As it is, even with charging cuddlers and being totally platonic, there’s so much stigma about cuddling with strangers, especially if you’re in a committed relationship. I have only told a few people in my life that I’m doing this because I know how it will be perceived. I hope one day it will become more widely accepted.

cuddlezandhugz, your kindness is also appreciated also love the question you posed and the responses have been interesting
I believe that boundaries are so important
It helps create good intentions for any moment where people are exchanging energies

NourishinNorski

@cylee1180

Totally missed the Charlie Sheen reference 😅 pop culture is not my strong suit!

I agree that sometimes we need to be firm and even borderline cold to people. Boundaries are important, especially in this world. I endeavor to keep an open heart while still having some guard up. I don’t ever want to become too jaded but I also know naïveté won’t serve me well either.

NourishinNorski

@zerocantaloupe

Same, same. A few days ago, I recalled a phrase in Hindi an ex taught me 3 years ago, which literally means something to the effect of “let’s go eat chicken”. How does that serve me? 😂

Minestrone101

@cuddlezandhugz Charlie Sheen got hit with some scandal some 15 years ago and he went on a viral rant about his Oscar, his accomplishments, and how he's winning in life. He rode that wave for a good 5 years.

You're right about boundaries. Cheers.

zerocantaloupe

@cuddlezandhugz Now I am become crunch, destroyer of poultry

homeboy

I've never hired a pro.

For me, a satisfactory cuddle requires that I perceive mutual enjoyment. Now I assume that a really good pro could feign enjoyment so that I would be unable to tell the difference between enjoyment that is real and not real. (Remember the famous scene in When Harry Met Sally?) But even the possibility of that fact, for me, so far, has kept me away from pros.

(Disclaimer: I'm not denigrating pros.)

NourishinNorski

@homeboy

Thanks for your honesty! I get that. I don't think anyone likes feeling like cuddling is transactional.

SuperManCuddles

My many cuddles sessions with pros have been mutually enjoyed!🤗 I am an active cuddler!

NourishinNorski

@SuperManCuddles

Noted ;p