Are We On CC More Troubled Than Average?

GreatHornedOwl

It has occurred that by reading enough of this forum, someone night conclude that we have more than our share of people that are troubled by any of many different sets of symptoms, or is it that we have become more open about discussing our problems in (semi-) public. Could it be that it's easier because we're anonymous, or is it that the other people here are so encouraging?

CuddleWho

I’m fairly sure that CC has a high percentage of hurt people, but I don’t think it’s for the reasons you mention.

Someone who’s very happy with their social life and relationships is less likely to look for a site like this than someone who is unhappy.

homeboy

This might be assumed, but I'd like to make it explicit. Whatever the answer turns out to be, the "we" is we who regularly post in CC Forums, and doesn't necessarily apply to the larger CC community.

Ironman294

There’s a ton of people that don’t go on the forums, many of the cuddlers I meet don’t even know about the forums or don’t participate, if everyone who used the site came on the forums perhaps it would be less, but then again it could be even more. One never knows.

cuddles_ndream

I’ve had the same thoughts myself before 💭 several times before … for 1 i think that most of us here are somewhat lonely or introvert in our own personal lives and this is an escape, but you bring up an amazing point as well when you say, “could it be that we have become more open about discussing in semi public / the anoniminity, (how ever you spell that) / and the encouragement - in whatever form that may be - I view the CC community as 1 big dysfunctional - but at the same time functional family.

cuddles_ndream

Someone who’s very happy with their social life and relationships is less likely to look for a site like this than someone who is unhappy. @CuddleWho 💯

Whatever the answer turns out to be, the "we" is we who regularly post in CC Forums, and not necessarily the larger CC community. @homeboy 💯

carrieanne

Since I’ve started reading and posting and having personal conversations with some posters I feel like I’m really part of a community. It’s added so much more to this experience for me and I’m amazed at how much I learn every day from all of you.
My feeling is that people who don’t know anything about this thing called Cuddling (when i tell them about it) act like I’ve lost my mind and say they wouldn’t feel comfortable touching holding ‘strangers’.
Well that reveals a lot about them to me. That they are very closed, definitely not as open and empathetic.
So in my mind, Cuddlers are on the very positive side of humanity. When something is missing in their lives, they’re not afraid to go out and find it. Personally I love that.
If they’re hurting, hopefully eventually they will find a person to cuddle and/or the Forums. I ask my clients to take a look.
Cuddlers are beyond special! 🥰

CharlieBear

I fell like (at least for me) I am actually better off here because before I joined the site I didn’t have anyone to cuddle with, and now after joining I have cuddle buddies which has made things so much better.

newme27

When i joined this site, a good friend of mine on CC suggested me to start following CC forums. This helped me to find like minded people, individuals in similar situation as me and the best thing i noticed is, no one is judging you. For now, i might not be so active posting / responding to various post but i made very good friends via one on one messaging. More i learn, more i become wiser, i am sure i will come out of just listening mode and start responding as well. Forum directly / indirectly started giving me the feeling of belonging to this big CC family. As Piscean, i always believed in “alternate world” and it looks like I found my “alternate world”

sunnysideup

There many different types of people on CC.

I think people on CC have a higher amount of damage from relationships, and/or are neurodivergent (hard to fit in and therefore hard to feel accepted by society).l than compared to the average population.

cuddles_ndream

That was a really nice response @newme27 welcome to CC and the forum 🌌

newme27

@cuddles_ndream thanks!!

GreatHornedOwl

@cuddles_ndream - Of course, "We" refers to those of us who participate in the forum. I haven't the slightest idea if any of the other people on CC are troubled or not.

@newme27 - You just have come out of just listening mode and start responding. Welcome.

cuddles_ndream

@GreatHornedOwl That one day I decided to scroll a little bit further down on the CC main page after months of being here & saw the , “View All Discussions” Tab 🫤

cuddles_ndream

@GreatHornedOwl i tried sending you a friend request but i think it said we haven’t chatted or cuddled yet so I can’t 😶

I think lonlieness is a thing to explore. From what I've gathered, cuddleders are just as lonely as people seeking cuddling.

bobadevotee

@carrieanne I really feel it is inappropriate and, ironically, not empathetic, to say that people who don’t want to touch or hold strangers are “closed” and “not as empathetic”. Some people have trauma. Some people just don’t like physical touch as much, the same way some people don’t like broccoli. It doesn’t make them less empathetic.

Try to understand how someone else feels rather than judging. Empathy isn’t correlated to how much you enjoy touch with strangers.

It’s just inappropriate to call someone else more closed off just for having different boundaries or preferences.

zerocantaloupe

I'll admit it -- I'm pretty messed up. Trying my best to retain my humanity.

carrieanne

@bobadevotee
Apparently you needed more clarity about the specific people I was referring to as being ‘closed’. (Also that is a word I’m using in general terms). But I’ll help you out here and put you at ease.
I was referring to the 3 people I’ve told about my being a professional cuddler, I’ve known for decades. two are family members and one is my long time friend. All three happen to be very closed in different ways, not empathetic in the way that I am and will all readily admit it. They said they admire the ability to do what I’m doing but would feel very uncomfortable in this situation.
No trauma either. I’m the one who has experienced extreme physical and psychological trauma and it only made me stronger and more empathetic.
We each speak of our own experiences, I don’t expect you to understand mine. But it’s unnecessary to attack someone who you don’t know.

cuddles_ndream

I’m the one who has experienced extreme physical and psychological trauma and it only made me stronger and more empathetic. @carrieanne

When anyone / any person experiences these things, they can either A) become the worst of the worst people out there or B ) make them stronger and more empathetic. I am extremely happy you chose B ♥️ 🌌 🫂 🫂 🫂

zerocantaloupe

@cuddles_ndream I am getting closer to A because of a sequence of different traumas that make me believe that the world rewards inhumanity and dishes out more trauma to those that choose B.

TruePower

I have unfortunately fallen into the 'A' route as well @zerocantaloupe I've become exponentially more cynical and jaded, and still harbor resentment/spite to those who follow 'B' or those who evade trauma somehow.
I'm hoping with new meaningful connections and renewed hope I can better myself.

cuddles_ndream

@zerocantaloupe i understand and I don’t blame you, @TruePower i get it if you fall into A, but why hold resentment to those who follow B? (not judging just curious) it would suck a little to know that someone else’s happiness would bother someone else.

TruePower

@cuddles_ndream feeling of missing out/losing out, feeling that something inside me was missing or broken, I cursed the gods for leaving me to live in such a inescapable reality. So I avoided anyone who seemed happy, or treated them with contempt.
I remember back then if I saw two people talking and enjoying their time together I would think to myself "What is there to talk about? What was so funny? Is it really all that great? Why can't I understand what other people do? What are they doing that I am not?"
Just disturbed removed thoughts.

carrieanne

Everyone has different types of experiences and particularly traumas. Not something we can ever generalize about or judge someone’s own ability to cope or recover, deal with, get through or compartmentalize. It’s so personal and I don’t have anyone close to me who understands how I feel. Why would they? I don’t put it on them, or expect anything. Why would I? That’s selfish.
The part I choose is how I discipline myself to go on afterwards and enjoy my life. Not get negative or define it by those events. What a waste of time. I decide to be happy, to care about and to focus on what I see outside and not create misery inside. I choose to not be cynical and dislike happy people around me.
I personally worked on resetting my thinking. Its a technique that can be explained.
Beta level mind control, dream state, visualization, meditation all helped me a lot.

cuddles_ndream

@TruePower thank you for your response

@carrieanne 👏🏻

MrKinder

I hope the cuddling community echoes the overall general bell curve in terms of _______ (fill in the blank). Whether it's emotional health or general happiness, etc, everyone is an individual.
Personally, I simply find that in our society, finding sexual touch is easier and finding platonic touch is more unique. When I found out about cuddling, I jumped at the chance and it's as great as I hoped it would be. I don't NEED it, I simply WANT it from time to time (every 1-2 months or so). It's like a treat.
I hope people don't seek cuddling out as a fix to a personal issue, as we're not all trained professionals. I view the cuddler relationship along this specific aspect as similar to a romantic one: you probably shouldn't be with someone else until you're okay with yourself first.

achetocuddle

@MrKinder Touche

zerocantaloupe

@MrKinder I don't hire cuddlers to fix anything, just to get what hurt me incredibly badly trying to get the normal way.

cde123

I am unapologetically "B" and I'm sure it's set me back in career terms but idgaf.
It only works paired with a well-developed sense of who is worth trusting.

CozyWolfy

Touch therapy, cuddle therapy.. a lot of this site is people hiring a type of therapist to help them feel better. I feel like in the future this will be a more recognized form of therapy. So it would make sense that there's a lot of broken people here in a place that is into fixing.