This has been on my mind for so long now and I figured I would share this as it seems like the right sort of place as it was the very thing that drove me here.
A little over a year ago a long relationship of mine ended, 6 years, we lived together, she was an alcoholic and things got bad.
Toward the end I was depressed, I worked and nothing else. I started to go on dating websites so that I could remind myself that this was not the end of the world, there's a lot of women out there, and better ones too.
I met a girl, she lived so far away, litterally the other side of the world. It was never my intention of anything happening, I just wanted company.
This girl and I we would talk every single day, she was in college, but was doing it at home because of covid stuff at the time.
We started calling each other, this girl's voice made me melt. It didn't hurt that this is litterally one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen, she was a mix of Russian and Turkish, something went very right with the mix, picture the face of a doll and the body of a woman. She was very attracted to me as well, apparently I look alot different than men there.
We would video chat and talk almost every night till she fell asleep. This girl was almost psychic, I'd wake up at odd hours and she'd have said good morning seconds before. It was odd. Eventually feelings developed, and the word love started being used. I started to not care at all about what this girl looked like and I just wanted to meet this other person who could effect me this way.
I've had quite a few gf's but I'm not exaggerating when I say something was different about this girl, the way she put her words together, there was something pure.
Eventually she had to go back to college because the concern for covid ceased to matter as much.
She became busy with school life, we weren't able to talk as much. It caused arguments.
She'd tell me she missed me but never could seem to make time for communication.
She would call maybe once a month, twice she was crying. She would tell me she was depressed and don't want to live and bad things like that.
A bit about this girl, she's very similar to me and I've met few people like me. She's an introvert and gets easily exhausted mentally and she can feel things. Her mother was mean to her at home, at one point tried to strangle her when she was younger. Her family life was sad, no real affection or love given. Oh and she really likes cats, like alot.
We talked less and less, it bothered me more and more. We had planned to meet but whenever it became time to buy a plane ticket she became unsure.
Her excuse was that her whole life would change if we did. Or that she wasn't ready, or that she didn't know what she wanted anymore.
Eventually she hesitated telling me her feelings and we talked less.
Periodically she would tell me she missed me and want to call me (completely out of the blue) and was usually very emotional
My concern was always that she had met a guy. But she always denied that she wanted anyone there. I'm not exaggerating this girl's beauty so I found it hard to believe.
She still talks to me and talks about meeting me, but the plans have never become concrete. I don't think I've ever missed someone the way I miss her, even people I've been with in reality.
This may all sound stupid or far fetched to some and it all feels like a dream to me. The span of this story is a year. And ongoing. Don't fall in love with someone you may never be able to meet.
I wondered if anyone could relate to this story. And if you must know, the girls Name who I still carry feelings for is Sinem, it's a Turkish name. Because of her I now speak a small amount of Turkish.
There's so much more to this story but I thought some might find it interesting. It's hard for me to even talk about this stuff without becoming emotional.