I don't understand girls am I niave?

FutureHeart2023

Scenario 1
A girl I work with told me to bring her some sweets from home an exact kind she likes and when I did she says she doesn't want it didn't look at or taste it. Im.not tying to be in a relationship with any girl but doesn't mean I can't be nice I give food to guys too I'm just aas in a giving mood during the holidays

Scenario 2
Another girl at work ask me when can I take her to dinner she even changed her schedule to match mind with the days off, so when I picked a day she Saya nevermind I'm going to go to work she hs canceled 3 times. So I made plans with another girl and she got mad but I didn't want my day off to be wasted

Scenario 3
Another girl accused me of cheating but yet we are both single...how can two single people cheat? She wqs upset that I was talking to other girls but I have only been friends with all of them none of them have didn't anything beyond platonic. So she mad because I'm making friends and building connections? Don't get it I never told anyone they was special or that I would only do for You, so wasn't like I was telling 10 different girls the same thing

Scenario 4
Another gir l says she likes me and starred sending me sexy pictures that I didn't ask for. And starred giving me hugs at work I didn't ask for..but im a single guy so he'll I'm not gonna day no. But then out of nowhere she text me hey no more hugs or pics we just gonna be coworkers. I mean...I hsdnt asked for any of that anyway. But then she asked me to pay her car registration and buy her perfume for Christmas 🎄

The list goes on. Im clueless and probably messing up somewhere but don't know where. No suppose to mix business with pleasure. Don't crao where you eat they say. But even girls outside of work has got me confused. I'm just s confused little boy 🤣

sdcuddleguy

Maybe you coming here to ask if you are naive is a form of accountability for these things happening to you. I have always said that when you are pointing one finger out to accuse someone of something, the other 4 are pointing right back at you. I think that might be the case here. You may not want to hear this, and honestly this forum on a cuddle site really may not be the place to be giving romantic advice, but hey, we are all friends here, right?

In your case, for this to be happening as you seem to say it is so frequently - where a girl shows interest and then backs away entirely - I have to believe, frankly, that you're somehow creeping them out. I truly hate to be that blunt and just say it like that, but something more has to be happening if all you're saying is true. I have a very difficult time believing that every single one of them would verbally and otherwise indicate a real interest in you, and then somewhere in your activity to show a reciprocal interest they are running away if they are not scared by you in some manner.

I, and probably none of us here, have been there to witness how you're interacting with them, but that is where I would begin to look if I were you. I would ask friends you have at work who may have witnessed your behavior if you are doing things to scare the women off. Ask them to be brutally honest with you.

Like I said, I hate to sort of be the bearer of bad news, but I think the case here may be that you're truly scaring them off. Sometimes the best help too is not exactly the help you want to hear.

FutureHeart2023

It be really odd if they lost interest they still coming after me. Following me into the bathroom and blocking the time clock just to see me come in. Paying me $50 to come to their house just to hold a ladder and then cook me a meal on top of that

Appreciate the advice I dont believe in bad news I only think usually people speak from experience from personally or something they seen other people go through. I don't ask girls for their numbers at work they usually asl for mine.

Also every girls in all the Scenarios are still asking me out on dates so did they lose interest but still want me to take them out and meet their kids 🤔🤔

sdcuddleguy

Hate to say it again bud, but I just don't think we are possibly seeing the full picture here of what's going on because if this is happening over multiple women, then there must be a common denominator.

CuddleDuncan

Note that on all of these I am definitely, definitely right. Yes sirree, no doubt about that. Spot on every time. It's really easy to define somebody's character from one second-hand story about them - I do it all the time and I'm always right.

Scenario 1
Yeah, they do that. Don't ask why, it doesn't help.

Scenario 2
She was feeling low and wanted a little self esteem boost by having a guy promise to take her out to dinner. At no point was she going to go to dinner. You were manipulated.

Scenario 3
She has a personality disorder.

Scenario 4
Another personality disorder/manipulative type.

The thing that's actually interesting is the pattern. And this is part where you come in. There are things you do/don't do, attitudes and beliefs you have, and so on, that are bringing you into these situations. All of these tales start with emotionally unhealthy or unusual behaviour by the woman concerned, and you going along with it.

Read up on boundaries, learning to say no and why it's important to do so sometimes.

---

The opening paragraph of this post is a joke, m'kay? I mention it just for the avoidance of doubt.

pmvines

dont shit where you eat . Workplace hookups are not advisable . This entire thread reads like a HR nightmare .

Also, CC isnt really a place to get relationship problem advice. It seems like you are using the site as a means to air your peroenal laundry and blog about woman problems . I suppose as long as people respond and you have an audience you'll keep doing it , I just dont really see what you are hoping to accomplish here. There are other more suited places for this sort of thing.

Eventually you are going to want to move on from being in this mindset of being a victim of circumstance. Your threads seem to follow that theme. Again, not sure what you aim to accomplish by posting these things here , but if you need help beyond what you are getting from us posters, then please look into it . Sounds like you might benefit from some sort of counseling, based on your posts . No harm intended , and good luck

@sdcuddleguy I agree with your thinking and it could be the case. I have to always examine myself daily. Pretty much meditate on situations to see where I could have done better.

@CuddleDuncan I believe you are spot on!

@FutureHeart2023 I used to be the loving giver, I still am, but have set boundaries and no longer grant everyone access to me. Setting boundaries protects you. These women seem to be toying with you and your willingness to be sweet and kind. Their description proves them to be very manipulative. Maybe you can try to sit back and run through each scenario and see where you could have set a boundary? The best one you can practice is the word(s) No/No thank you. As a cuddle therapist I practice boundaries with cuddlebuds all the time and usually start with that🤗

Life will be better with boundaries. It may feel odd and wrong initially but making the right choice doesn’t always feel good. I hope this female perspective helps 💚☺️

HumbleBaron

WriterGF

If this keeps happening, maybe consider your taste in women. If the other posters are correct and they are manipulative and emotionally unhealthy, what is attracting you to people like that?

Jubal

I fell off here: "she asked me to pay her car registration"

I don't know a tactful way to say what I'm thinking . . . Unless the person is a family member or someone truly important in your life, they can pay their own damn bills. Otherwise you may as well be lighting your money on fire.

sunnysideup

Sometimes, when a gal is interested in me, I show interest back. Then she loses interest. I can only conclude that me being unavailable is what mostly made me attractive to those women.

Some women don't want to date you, they only want some attention.

I say, ignore these women and hang out with more mature ones. Or if you like someone, try to show your interest in short bursts and not all at once.

ClubSamwiches

Yes, you are. You should continue focusing on therapy and healing from your abusive marriage.

RadiantHugs

Have you heard about "nice guy" syndrome? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_guy

This could be some non "nice guy" responses -

Scenario 1
Okay, may I then take them back? I like eating these too and don't want them to get thrown out.

Scenario 2
I'm sorry but I had other things I could do, and I already made other plans. Hope you enjoy your day!

Scenario 3
Yes I love talking to my friends. They make me happy and let me be myself around them.

Scenario 4
Please say NO

great_pillow08

Wherever you’re finding these chicks, look somewhere else! Work is NEVER a good idea, neither is church, and this site’s for cuddling NOT dating, although the admins apparently allow it to be used for such. Just be careful because expectations of “cuddling” has become more broad as of late..

CC is NOT a dating site, @great_pillow08 . [-Sid]

BashfulLoner

Yes you are certainly naive, and you don’t understand women. That’s ok, no one does. First thought, don’t give girls attention, you’re obviously grown try to entertain ladies.

I frankly don’t believe any of these scenarios you mentioned are represented properly. I don’t believe these women are interested in you or chasing you, i think you are misreading them. Even the one sending you sexy pics, i think she just wants attention. Or maybe they aren’t really as sexy as you suggest.

I think you may need to try and evaluate if what you are thinking is really what it is. They could be trying to be nice, they could be taking advantage, they could be making fun or what’s worse it could be all in your mind.

Frankly, it’s odd that so many women in A workplace to be openly chasing a man, so there is that. If i were you I’d lay off the ladies until it’s clear of both of your motives.

By the way, unless you’re unusually attractive, very rich or hung like a horse (and they all know it) i don’t think men get that much attention. Except me, I’m the exception but i also have all those characteristics and i don’t get that much attention at work and I’m the boss.

FutureHeart2023

Yea agreed probably will avoid fratinization of all kinds at work.. focus on saving up for a house and car and get in a better situation.

@BashfulLoner unfortunately im outnumbered at my job 100 girls to 1 guy. So it gets kinda crazy. They hadn't had a guy worl there in 5 years

CuddleDuncan

im outnumbered at my job 100 girls to 1 guy.

And there we have our missing piece of information. Because you are the only man, many feelings and experiences are being projected onto you. In such a situation it is even more important than usual to be strong about boundaries.

Jubal

unfortunately im outnumbered at my job 100 girls to 1 guy

Oh, you've piqued my curiosity, I just gotta ask what kind of place you work at? I'm not asking where, or the company name or anything, just the type of business.

BashfulLoner

Oh that changes everything, only guy at work! I changed my mind. You are in trouble my guy, keep your head down and work, don’t raise your eyes until you get off work.

Spud424

Sideon

@FutureHeart2023 - there are tons here who can and do willingly give advice, but know that the CC forums really aren't the place for navigating relationships. I'm not saying CC can't, I'm saying CC doesn't.