@Calibrate715 Your posts are such a plus to this site. And you are correct, prolonged deception will not lead to that goal or anything else worth having!
@ManOutdoors I often feel both ways about something whether I say it here or not. I can assure you that a few wedded people here DO like and want their spouse to be unaware of their cuddling. But I get that it can be hard to have the convo. It's probably very strange to someone that doesn't experience benefits or feeling better from platonic touch. I used to want to cuddle before I even knew to define it as cuddling, so I get not knowing what to say.
I would never cuddle with a married woman, whether her husband knew about it or not. It wouldn't feel right.
@achetocuddle Well thank you hugs I know so many people that have different relationship dynamics that I truly don't feel there's only one right way to operate in a relationship. I just know that the relationships that suffer are the ones where one or both partners isn't being honest. The others, regardless of the dynamic, flourish because there is mutual openness and communication.
@BJC And we fully support your right to have that boundary ☺️
@Calibrate715 I agree and hugging you back.
Wow this thread is going on forever, more than the 50,000 others. I guess I'll give my 2 cents... I completely respect a person's right to cuddle or not with whomever they choose. That being said...
A huge thank you to the few cuddlers who are accepting of everyone regardless of their personal situation. Your compassion,kindness ans understanding qualify you for sainthood.
And to those who truly in need of platonic touch I hope you find it. I know how it feels. Don't give up.
@robroo I'd guess that's because it's relevant to the majority of people here. I enjoy these kinds of discussions because it helps me to see other viewpoints and increase my own self-awareness.
And, I daresay the majority of cuddlers here are compassionate, kind, and understanding regardless of any boundaries they hold😊
Thanks everyone for sharing their thoughts. I'm continuing to learn a lot. My very limited experience with cuddling has not been just temporary relief. It's been very healing for me, so I have to base my conclusions on my experiences and not some of the hypothetical situations that people are talking about. Everyone's experience is different and I ultimately will base my thoughts on my experience.
[@Calibrate715 It's not the cuddling I'd have a problem with - it's the aspect of someone being dishonest with their spouse/partner. I think that's when cuddling/messaging becomes a "violation of trust." A lie of omission is still a lie, any way you slice it.]
THIS!😊👍
I totally stand behind this statement 100%
Cuddling with a married/"attached" man isn't an issue as long as your spouse/girlfriend/whatever KNOWS about your seeking out cuddles or at least knows about your being active here on CC. I have had bad experiences with married men being dishonest with their wives (elsewhere on other sites that I am still active on😔) in the past. Especially when their wives/girlfriends eventually catch on...Lol! And believe me, they DO catch on!😉
Being an ex-wife myself, it sucks when your spouse lies and attempts to be SNEAKY versus just being open and honest with you about whatever "needs" they're not getting from their marriages. Been there, done that!🤨
Open honest communication is something that I never take for granted these days, I'm very appreciative of it now. Very appreciative!😊
[I just pity them if they are married.]
😆😆😆
@FunCartel Lol! Had someone tell me a "wedding joke" years ago...
Person1: I love going to weddings, except there's one part about them that I hate...
Person2: Oh, what part is that?
Person1: The getting married part.
😜🤪😝
At the end of the day, communication is everything. That’s what was lacking in my marriage and why I am now divorced.
I would hope that anyone I cuddle with that is dating someone or married lets their partner know, but still I won’t judge them either way.
@Katota - I said this much earlier in this thread, but that was a long time ago and many people appear to have missed it. Before you condemn someone for being dishonest with their spouse/partner, try taking a walk in their shoes. There are many reasons why someone may appear to be "dishonest" with respect to cuddling, but actually not be "dishonest" at all.
I'll present my situation as an example, and while it may not be terribly common, I'm fairly certain that it isn't unique either. My wife suffers from severe Alzheimer's Disease. Obtaining **informed **consent for my cuddling activities is clearly impossible. Yes, I could explain things, and ask for her permission, but even if she did understand what I was asking, she wouldn't remember any bit of that conversation, five minutes later. Some may think that I'm being dishonest with her, but I most certainly don't.
If she were living in a facility, nobody would question my cuddling activities, but she wouldn't be happy. Am I to be condemned to suffer total touch deprivation because I choose to keep her at home, and care for her myself? I believe that every man who "deceives his wife about his cuddling, has his own reasons. Some of those reasons could be morally wrong, but many are not.
The bottom line, is that blanket condemnations of anything, are virtually always wrong, and it's wrong to condemn a man for something that you may not understand. Before you condemn him, at least make an effort to understand why he behaves as he does.
@Katota
Welcome to CC. Your joke made me remember this lyric.
🎼 Weddings make a lot of people sad, But if you’re not the one, they’re not so bad. 🎵
caring for an alzhimers patient takes a special breed of patience kindness and dedication. @GreatHornedOwl I salute you in your struggle, and hope you get some intimacy in your life to help sustain you.
Thank you @1_teddybear. I just did have my first cuddle through CC, and it was wonderful
@GreatHornedOwl Outstanding! I am very glad for you. and for your cc partner.
I’m not married, but in a committed relationship. Have been very upfront and honest about this with people I’ve talked to here. You’d think I was killing kittens with the reception it gets.
The whole idea is PLATONIC, but that seems lost on too many.
@GreatHornedOwl Thank you for sharing your experience and your reasoning, and I do understand. However, I still choose to not be bothered when it comes to married men (who aren't honest with their wives). As I have said before, due to bad experiences when wives and girlfriends suddenly finding out about their husband's deception...That's when MY phone blows up with all these crazy insulting (and yes, at times threatening) text/phone messages from their pissed off wives/girlfriends.🤨 So due those past experiences, I'm happy to keep on judging and avoiding DISHONEST married men. My peace and state of mind is important to ME, and I'll not trade that to take pity on married men who can't come clean with their own wives.😐
Nah, I'm good.😉👍
Again thank you for your comment, my best to you and your wife, my grandfather suffered with dementia until his death.😔 My sympathies to you both, and glad you found someone to cuddle with you. 😊
It's all about perosnal choice and comfort level. You can't try to convince someone of why they should reconsider their thinking about something like this . Person needs to be able to say no and have that respected without a need for justification. Like @Katota says, it's about mitigating potential for unnecessary conflict. Regardless of what I'd do , I respect that others may do completely different and that's OK.