Seeing a talk therapies vs cuddle therapy

transgirlkatie

Right now I've been having big issues with low energy, depression, and lack of motivation in life. I feel like seeing a talk therapist could help me, but at the same time an in person one costs a fortune these days. On the low end in California it's 180/session vs with cuddle therapy it's lower than that. I currently see a cuddle therapist that charges me a very affordable rate and I like her a lot. She's a very compassionate and friendly person. I'm just struggling to decide if seeing an actual therapist is worth it or not given how unaffordable they are. Covid has completely ruined therapy, before that most therapists were in person and they were plenty of options for lower income people. What do you all think of talk therapy vs cuddle therapy?

SuperManCuddles

If you qualify for Medicaid (based on state low income levels), therapy is usually no cost. Other insurance options are available too.

TNNative

I totally respect all the pros, and I also think talk therapy is completely different and sometimes necessary.

pmvines

Charging people to cuddle on the interwebs does.not make one qualified to be a mental health therapist, and honestly it frightens me to see so many people who conflate the two .

snuggzz

I truly believe there’s no substitution for talk therapy. I find the two to be completely different universes. While cuddle therapy may help you feel good in the moment because your body releases those feel-good hormones, that feeling is temporary. A good traditional therapist will help you dive into yourself and figure out why you are the way you are. They will pose the uncomfortable yet necessary questions that we all need to hear AND give you strategies to maneuver through the rough terrain to get you to a better vantage point in your life. And that is not temporary, as it’s a perspective you’ll have with you for the rest of your life.

I feel both modalities are valid, helpful, and have their purpose.

But as far as pricing for traditional talk therapy, it’s tough. You really have to do your best to find the programs that can help you if you don’t have insurance or insurance that helps with mental health. I totally understand that if you’re not in the best mental state, it’s hard to put forth that energy to find the programs that help with payment, but to me, it’s worth the effort.

I wish you the best, my friend. I know it’s tough.

TNNative

Wouldn't it be great to do both, cuddle and talk therapy? the best of both worlds.

Midnight01

Cuddle "therapy" really isn't an official thing. Talk therapy can help but it can take a long to find the right therapist, even then, it may take many sessions so see anything substantial. I'd suggest to exercise more, change your diet to rid of sugar, dose on Vitamin D, and concentrate on your career to battle depression/low energy/low motivation.

PeopleLikeUs

There are some really outstanding life coaches that were licensed therapists. They drop their licenses and become life coaches simply because they can do more in the way of other therapeutic practices. So they end up charging less but providing more.

bekah_cuddles

Have you looked into state funded counseling? Private practice therapists can be expensive, but there are usually a number of publicly-funded mental health services available. I would recommend checking out the following website as a good place to start.
https://blog.opencounseling.com/public-mental-health-ca/

Sometimes you can get lucky and find a cuddle/touch therapist who also happens to be a decent talk therapist, but there really is no replacement for a licensed mental health professional. I would definitely prioritize finding a counselor over a cuddle pro based on the feelings you described. At the very least, I would recommend locating your local crisis line from the website above and explaining your situation to them. I'm sure they will be more than happy to connect you with the right resources.

Edit: The California Department of Public Health site also has some good hotlines/resources, including a Trans Lifeline Hotline.
https://www.cdph.ca.gov/Programs/CCDPHP/DCDIC/SACB/Pages/Crisis-Hotlines--Resources.aspx

The Trans Lifeline’s Hotline is a peer support phone service run by trans people for our trans and questioning peers. Call us if you need someone trans to talk to, even if you’re not in crisis or if you’re not sure you’re trans. Call (800) 877-565-8860 open 24/7 but staff is limited. Guaranteed to be available from 2 pm –10 pm PST.

lyric89

Therapy is everything, I definitely would say it’s worth it.

It's pretty much apples and oranges. They both provide benefits, but not the same benefits. Cuddling is a short-term relief, but it's not going to get at the root of whatever is bothering you. Not a very good analogy, but it's sort of a Band-Aid versus surgery.

GreatHornedOwl

@Midnight01 - Giving medical advice without the proper training really isn't a good idea. Reducing or getting sugar will probably not hurt people, but overdosing can lead to vitamin D toxicity can be serious.
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/vitamin-d-side-effects#_noHeaderPrefixedContent

Eileen_98144

Cuddling is no substitution for talk & skills based therapy, but it is totally valid for social support as part of a bigger network. Considering that both relationships require a financial transaction, I recommend seeking peer support counseling as a middle path. Peer support counselors work on grant money to provide services which are completely autonomous and voluntary. They do not provide psychotherapy but are trained in peer support, qualified by lived experiences. 💗

All Great comments and Advice guys!

Cinephile77

I appreciate the comfort and relaxation that cuddling can offer. But having gone through therapy, I can say that cuddling doesn’t equip you with the tools to do the work or achieve the breakthroughs that therapy can offer.

A trained therapist has the tools to help patients with complicated issues. Therapists can include licensed social workers, psychologists, and psychiatrists. They have different areas of expertise. And they might also direct a patient to possible medical interventions. Some patients might benefit from medication.

I’m not trying to diminish the comfort that a trained, professional cuddler can offer to a client. Human connection is an essential experience for everyone. But there’s a limit to the mental health benefits that a cuddle experience can offer.

pmvines

@GreatHornedOwl what you didn't know that taking vitamin D cures depression? Why do you think there are so many happy people in the old milk commercials ? So many lives could be saved simply from drinking their Ovaltine

transgirlkatie

For me even if I find a therapist that's somewhat affordable, then there's the issue of them being online only. Zoom therapy doesn't work for me because I have a poor attention span with zoom calls

SunsetSnuggles

@transgirlkatie Cuddling is fantastic and has been life-changing for me, but it is definitely not an alternative to licensed mental healthcare.

Covid should not be affecting in-person counseling, at this stage. Even at the height of it, my counselors gave me the choice of Zoom or in-person with a mask. Masks long-since went away.

A Google Maps search for "community health center San Jose" revealed a plethora of results in your area. You can start skimming their websites to see if they have a sliding fee scale. Depending on your financial situation, this should allow you to be approved for in-person counseling at a fraction of the cost of what you mentioned above, allowing you to continue both Pro cuddles, and get proper mental healthcare.

Best of luck!

~ Sunset Snuggles

houdini2019

I do talk therapy now.I'm fortunate in that my therapist catches on a sliding scale based on income., which makes it affordable.

She supports the idea of cuddling being beneficial. But that said, cuddling, as helpful as it is is not equivalent to working with a trained mental health professional.

warm_embrace

I find that cuddle “therapy” can be a good immediate (albeit temporary) relief from emotional distress. But, it does nothing to address the underlying cause of the distress. “Talk therapy” is often more challenging. It rarely gives immediate relief and often makes you feel worse, before you feel better.

There is a place for both, but they’re not at all the same thing.

CuddleDuncan

Most of the posts in this thread focus on the words of the OP's question: talk therapy versus cuddle therapy. And that's fine. The theme of these posts is that talk therapy is, ultimately, necessary and that cuddling is not a cure for anything. I heartily concur with that sentiment.

Valuable as the comments are - and they are - I'm not sure that's really what this thread was supposed to be about. It seems to me to be more about allocation of resources. You can obtain two or three cuddle sessions for the same cost as one therapy session. In the grand scheme of things the talking therapy is essential, but which - right here and now - is a better allocation of limited financial resources? The answer is of course different for everybody, and changes for everybody over the course of time.

If you include other potential options in the mix - a holiday, for example - then that's fine. But if you don't, then you are left to consider cuddle and talking therapy do or might relate to each other. And when do they best fit in?

In very general terms talking therapy is most useful near the beginning and end of the healing process. The middle is more about life: living situation, diet, excercise, companionship, job, money, health. And this is the part where cuddling can be most helpful. It's very hard to go from having no friends, no intimacy of any kind, no touch and no affection straight to having a fulfilling romantic relationship. Or even a close friendship. Cuddling can help bridge that gap.

So I would say that in more cases than not, the answer to 'cuddling or talking' is cuddling. That will have an immediate benefit, which in principle can be used to make something else better as well. Cuddling can improve your life in hours, weeks or months, while talking is more of a months, years and decades thing.

In turn this leads to the conclusion that cuddling will be, in many cases, a transitory thing. That transition period might be anything from one session to years, and of course this idea won't apply to everybody.

For me it's years. I've been cuddling for three or four years and it's not about to stop. I'm lucky enough to have been in talking therapy the whole time as well, and you get no prizes for guessing that's not about to stop either. But the cuddling should stop first, first by a long way. I'm in a therapy group, which is another way of making it more affordable although that's not the only reason I'm in a group.

TheFunCartel

Ultimately…

“Whatever gets you through the night it’s alright”

John Lennon

CozyWolfy

I get it.. there not really the same but iv had to choose between the two for financial reasons and I chose cuddle therapists. I know a lot of stuff to cope with my mh though and I was just feeling more lonely.. would have chosen talk therapy if I needed more in depth mental health help.

transgirlkatie

@SunsetSnuggles
Unfortunately even though covid is largely over in the sense that we don't have to take precautions anymore, many therapists have chosen not to return to the office. It shouldnt affect in person sessions anymore, but it does because therapists wanted to save money on office space. And office space in San Jose is very expensive.

Swoonkle

I've been to a few talk therapists over the years and got absolutely nothing out of it. I get the impression that many are just there for their patients to vent to, while they pretend to listen, and that makes their patients feel better, but that's not for me. I need something more structured than that, someone who can actually identify problems and help me fix them, not just listen. Currently I've been trying paid chat therapists on my phone because they're easier to quit (Wysa or 7cups), but I've rotated through several and still not getting much out of that, either.

I've specifically tried to go to ones that advertise CBT, because I know that's scientifically proven to work or whatever, yet they never actually do any CBT. 😒 One just gave me a handout about it and then never mentioned it again.

Woebot is an app that's just a scripted chatbot that walks you through CBT, and I've found that more helpful than any actual therapist.

WestsideMarc

I don’t know much about trans people but I DO know depression is a major aspect of this! I’m sure there are plenty of options but cuddling ain’t gonna do it. Just being honest and direct good luck.

soullover

They both are temporary relief and we never get enough of it.