How would you have responded

Muffintop_1Muffintop_1
edited February 2023 in General

Hi all, I reached out to this cuddler a couple days ago because she was somewhat close, and this is how she responded to me after some simple chats back and forth....

Well, I appreciate your honesty. I am trying to be the same. I pretty much am only attracted to black/mexican men and I like them younger than me. I'm not into older guys. So for now, I would say I need to pass. But maybe if I get good at this, I can charge you for a cuddle session after I get to that point.

How would you all respond to this?

  1. How should I respond61 votes
    1. ignore
      72.13%
    2. Put her on blast
      27.87%
«1

Comments

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    Just wow.

    Was this an enthusiast or a Pro? I'm hoping to God it was an enthusiast, and assuming so. A Pro would be breaking the Terms of Service for racism as well as ageism.

    Enthusiasts are allowed to pick whoever they want, but this chick has it all wrong if she's here for guys she's attracted to, and thinks she's going to charge the ones she's not. So wrong. So twisted.

    And on a final note, if she is an enthusiast, she's not allowed to charge until she has a Pro tag on the site and schedules officially.

    So sorry this happened to you. There are plenty of upstanding women out there who are open to any race and know that age does not matter, and are here for the right reasons. Please wait for those ones, and report this one. Big hugs to you, sir.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • [Deleted User]penwah (deleted user)

    I am so sorry. That was not nice. She really didn't have to say all that. All she needed to say was I'm not interested and leave it at that.

  • [Deleted User]Mman (deleted user)

    She is very immature and unkind. I think you dodged a bullet.

  • jabraham96jabraham96

    It honestly depends. Was she an enthusiast or professional cuddler? I’m only asking for more context

  • [Deleted User]WriterGF (deleted user)

    The "after I get to that point" makes it sound like she is an enthusiast who has applied to be a pro. And yes, penwah is right, she could have just said she wasn't interested and left it at that. It sounds like she's looking for a boyfriend, not a cuddle partnet.

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    I think more than anything this illustrates why the common complaint by many guys on the forums of receiving no responses when they send a message is bogus. Not only does no one owe you a response, but the response you receive may sting more than the crickets in the void.

  • Muffintop_1Muffintop_1

    Well at least she didn't say it was my bald head.... 😂

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    @Muffintop_1 You should have created an invoice for $100 and messaged her with the invoice stating that you charge for mean and stupid replies.

  • Muffintop_1Muffintop_1

    I wouldn't say mean I would say "ignorant" replies....

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    The only options you give us in the poll are all negative responses that won’t help. She said “I appreciate your honesty” usually when I say that to someone, it means that person said something rude or sexual or something with shock effect. I’m wondering what you said to her for her to send that message.

    If she’s an enthusiast, she’s perfectly in her place to choose what she wants. Although, she shouldn’t be here if she’s looking for dates or possible conquests. Attraction is super normal in choosing a cuddle partner so maybe that’s what she means. Who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️ It sounds like she isn’t charging yet so I’m guessing she is an enthusiast. She seems really understanding and simply telling you her preferences. If she was a pro, then no, what she said is not ok.

    Be happy that she messaged you back with a very reasonable response. Why is your only go to to either report this or respond harshly? I know ppl are saying she was harsh and could have just said “not interested” but it looks like you guys had a good amount of back and forth and whatever you were honest about to her, I guess she’s being honest right back to you.

  • Muffintop_1Muffintop_1

    Hey Sheena...here was my honesty that she was referring to..

    short background....my wife of 15 years diagnosed with breast cancer 3 years ago...had to have one taken off and is now on these crappy drugs. They had to stop her cycle and put her in menopause. The after cancer drugs really are horrible and make her a different person. We used to be intimate 5 days a week...now its hard....I do not want to cheat on her and I will never....but sometimes I feel like I need some type of something....

    That is why I am here....I have not received that something yet because I have not figured out what I need...but....that's my story

    so nothing rude or sexual....

    My point is...if your not interested in chatting or maybe having a virual just say it....why talk about the color of skin...what does that have to do with this....dont matter if a pro or an enthusiast....just say not interested....I can take it...

    People need to just see people...thats all I am saying

  • TheFunCartelTheFunCartel

    People need to just see people...thats all I am saying

    That is so true. But she was belittling you in her message because she said you are not the right race and you are old but she might if you pay her.

    That wasn’t ignorance that was isms used to hurt you.

  • Sheena123Sheena123

    Maybe you talking about being intimate with your wife was something she took sexual. I do agree with you that age and skin shouldn’t be an issue but for a lot of ppl, it is. Plenty of ppl choose based off of looks and age so unfortunately that’s normal. Guys choose me because I have a certain body type. They don’t care about my education or anything. It’s a bit invalidating but a lot of ppl search for a cuddle partner here based on looks. She’s an enthusiast so she’s doing what everyone else is doing. You were honest with her and so was she 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • Muffintop_1Muffintop_1

    I appreciate your thoughts Sheena123

    Again...I'm not hurt by this at all...it's just something you don't say to people whether an enthusiast or a pro....

    Have a great day

  • robroorobroo

    I would cover myself in chocolate pudding and send her a pic and ask her in Spanish if this is more acceptable 😂

  • Muffintop_1Muffintop_1

    hahahaha...and the winner for best response is Robroo

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    @Sheena123

    For future reference, when you turn someone down, you can just broadly say something like "I'm sorry but I'm not interested," or "You seem nice but I don't think we're compatible" or something. I've done this many times in my life, and I'd actually bet that you have too.

    Explaining in detail that there's a lack of attraction, that it's because of race and age, and that she might be willing to cuddle for money in the future (despite her not being a pro and the prior discussion not being part of a pro/client relationship) is extraordinarily gauche and seems almost designed to cause offense.

  • CuddleWhoCuddleWho

    Anyway, OP: just block and move on. If you spend enough time on this site, you're sure to rack up more unpleasant interactions like this, and the only thing for it is to move on to the next person. There's definitely nothing to be gained by putting someone "on blast."

  • Sapio8469Sapio8469

    Don’t waste a speck of your time trying to make sense of ignorance. Her response spoke volumes about her character and absolutely nothing about your attraction.
    🌺Be Well🌺

  • TrialKingTrialKing
    edited February 2023

    I agree with @Sheena123 it's her right to express how she feels when respond to a client and also people complain how enthusiasts never respond at all. So when she at least gave the courtesy to sctually respond people still dont like it and theybget bashed. Then wonder why they typically dont say anything at all. Its hard for enthusiasts because she is damned if you do respond damned if you dont respond

    Also we cant micromanage people's responses just because we don't like what they say sometimes the intemtions are pure but their perceived response could come off different. In addition to that sometimes messeges/ text are different than Speaking over the phone than on person words in a message or any digital form it doesn't always display the heart or tonality of a intended response.

    Anyway not trying to write a book just my 2cents on the whole matter..not saying anyone is right ir wrong. I don't have a monopoly on truth I'm just sharing an opinion just like anyone else

  • applepie55applepie55

    Sounds like she’s on the wrong site and I hope she doesn’t become a pro if she’s looking for people she’s “attracted to.”

  • Connecticut1977Connecticut1977

    I hope this was NOT a pro!!!! She sounded very high schooler and immature. Don't even put no stock into that. Just continue to keep moving forward.

  • apico04apico04

    @Muffintop_1 It seems to me that she took your honesty and felt that there was an embedded request in your message. I re-read your message to her and IMO it does leave a little room for interpretation.

    You speak of “that something “ in terms of what your wife used to give you, after bringing up your lack of intimacy. No where does it reference or establish platonic cuddling as a substitute to what you’re missing. I would not be surprised if she concluded that your search for “that something” meant her possibly filling that void of intimacy in your life.

    Your TRUTH bomb of a message may have had her over thinking and thus she leaned on first excuse she could think of. Something to try and let you down but make it more about her rather than you which clearly fell flat.

    There is no telling what was going on in her mind after reading your message. I don’t think she went about turning you down in the best way. I also don’t think it’s fair for you to drop that much weight on a stranger who now has to deal with trying to make sense of it. I highly doubt you had any evil intention in sharing such a sensitive and personal detail of your life.

    Though spot to be in for both of you really. That being said, I don’t see a need to “Put her on Blast”.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited February 2023

    Sorry for what happened and that it hurt your feelings . I would not put her on blast per your survey as I feel that is tacky.

  • UREverythingUREverything
    edited February 2023

    Honestly I appreciate what the forum is for but at times it can turn into a kangaroo court. If an adult responds to another adult through texting or messaging we have to all remember so much gets lost in translation as opposed to a face to face or phone conversation.
    When this happens, good or bad that should remain between the two of you. Its your conversation.
    I think wham sang a song about this issue and called it careless whispers.
    You will dance again. But the trust with the person you put this thread up for will probably not want to communicate at all again she's like the wind.
    Both sides of things are extremely important and should be intimately respected, much like the rules of cuddling, there are rules of conversation.

  • scorpio2112scorpio2112

    The lady made it clear what she wanted so don't waste anymore time on her,even as she said ''if I get good at this, I can charge you for a cuddle session'' sounds like she would be just in it for the money rather than providing a proper cuddle session.

  • [Deleted User]SnugglesRus (deleted user)
    edited February 2023

    Ewwww. That is just yuk 😬🫣
    I’m sorry there are people like that.
    Definitely ignore and move on. The comment about getting better and charging… yikes. It’s not worth a minute of energy.

    When people are like that, it has nothing to do with you, age or bald or not 😅
    I like bald 😉

  • Muffintop_1Muffintop_1

    Good morning, I see a lot of comments saying I should have just brushed that comment off and not put her on blast...I get it and I did not actually respond to her stupid comment, nor did I put her name in the post. (I really did think about it but I decided it was not a great idea)

    Although it did show me that people are just insensitive and just plain weird. Honestly, this in no way hurt my feelings, nor did I want to say anything rude to her back. I just wanted to show that its probably not the best way to handle this situation.

    And for those that thought that my "honesty" was vague and might have meant that I wanted more than a cuddle...read my profile...my thoughts are my thoughts....

    I appreciate all the responses and private comments!

  • taco_libretaco_libre

    “go f*ck yourself”

    and/or related material

  • NickoliNickoli

    I would have a good laugh about it and move on to the next one. I also don't think she is on the wrong site @applepie55 I don't see anything wrong with only cuddling people you find attractive. I do it. She ABSOLUTELY could have said it better or just stop responding.

Sign In or Register to comment.