Caregiver cuddles

Jascuddleboo32

This is a topic I never imagined I'd be discussing let alone experiencing.

Being a full time caregiver for a family member and feeling completely alone and isolated.

I recently found myself in the position of full time caregiver for my Mom and it's physically, mentally and emotionally draining.

I feel an overwhelming urge to cuddle with someone at least 2-3 times a week and sometimes it's so strong of a feeling it actually hurts not having someone to cuddle.

I can't afford to pay a pro 2-3 times a week. I can only do that once a month.
I'm stuck at home most of the time and just desperately seeking human contact through cuddling.

How does someone in my situation find a reliable cuddle buddy without breaking the bank?

I'd even be open to hosting for short 30-45 minute cuddles.

Being a caregiver is extremely challenging and rewarding.

Not a pro and fairly new to the site. But I have seen other people mention that pros may offer discounts depending on your situation. Or offer to barter for other services you could provide.

Out of curiosity, might the family member's insurance cover some in-home care? And, not aware of their age - but, if they're a senior, contact your local council on aging to find out about resources for volunteers that can help. Maybe you can get enough breathing room between the two sources to not feel so stressed.

I'm sorry you're feeling so isolated💔

SweetPeaJen

@pmvines got any advice from a social worker standpoint?

pmvines

@SweetPeaJen I can help with caregiver burnout, but not for finding an affordable cuddler, which seems to be what is being sought out. I would actually recommend contacting local Area Agency on Aging for caregiver relief programs. Medicaid Waiver might also be an option. Try getting services in the home to assist with care and also try seeking some mental health sessions for yourself,.telehealth is a great option for not being able to leave home . Easing the burden on yourself will certainly help with the gnawing feelings you express, and can also allow for time to focus on yourself and your needs . Hiring a cuddler might not be something you can do right now but that doesn't mean there aren't plenty other forms of self care . Cuddling is.great , but its not the be all end all of things. Good luck @Jascuddleboo32

SunsetSnuggles

What @pmvines said. This focuses on the root issue (caregiver burnout) rather than the symptom (need for cuddles).

You know they say that if you come across someone in the middle of nowhere who needs CPR, your first reaction should be to go for help...not to give them CPR. Because they know that will just collapse you and leave us with two people in need of help and no help on the way.

You need help on the way; it's unreasonable to expect you to bear this burden alone. Anyone would eventually break down. Please seek help and I truly hope you find resources out there. big warm hugs I'm so sorry about the situation with your mom.

~ Sunset Snuggles

cuddlefaery

I can't speak for 100% certain for other pros, but I know I can't be the only one offering things like sliding scale and bulk discounts for clients in need and regulars. It never hurts to ask, as a lot of us come from caregiver backgrounds - we totally understand the burnout.

My heart goes out to you as I also was primary caregiver to my mother a decade ago. It's a tough situation to be in and you definitely need to do whatever you can to take care of yourself. Hopefully you can get some respite care workers to come in and help lessen the load, and also hopefully some of the cuddlers in your area will be willing to discuss discounts. Sending warm hugs if feeling huggable.

cuddlefaery

Another thought - you'd be surprised how much your local community may step up to support you and your mom. Sometimes reaching out on a local community forum like nextdoor or at the local senior center you can get neighbors who are more than happy to help with things like chores, shopping, donating supplies, donating cuddle session funds, etc. I know it's hard to accept "charity", but supporting each other is what community is all about and they know that when things are better for you, you'll be able to give back in your own way.

GreatHornedOwl

@Jascuddleboo32 - I don't have a solution for you, but if you find one, let me know. I have a similar situation, that's probably even worse. My wife suffers from Alzheimer's Disease. She gets angry, and blames me for everything. I can't host, because she would throw a fit. If I do go off for a cuddle, I have to hire somebody to stay with her, because I'm afraid to leaver her alone. The enthusiasts in the area mostly seem to think that I'm too old to cuddle, and adding on the cost of a "wife sitter," makes the pros rather expensive.

Jascuddleboo32

@GreatHornedOwl
You're never to old to cuddle.