Creeps you suck

greenearth2

To the creep who kept getting turned on during a session and wouldn't stop putting your hands down someone's pants i would like to say FU. One of my favorite snuggler pros quit because of that. You ruin it for everyone you jerk.
She didn't want to leave bad karma cause you know where she lives but I think eventually you'll get what you deserve.
Thanks and have a nice day.

funandadventure

@greenearth. Dear Greenearth.I am so with you on this one, this is and has never been a dating website to all you jerks who think it is leave now. Our thoughts go out to the person of whom this happened to and if you can forgive us, we are not all like that, please keep in touch in a private way. Good on you for starting this blog greenearth.
My love to all except unwanted Jerks, John Auckland NZ

Creeps ruin cuddlers irl with that crap and even scare away potential great cuddlers thru pms that didn't even start yet.

I'd imagine none of them post or have karma.

funandadventure

Dear All, here is a problem that the safegaurds we have built into the site fail, to place Karma would will alert the offender and others but he knows the personal address of our friend, Go to @mark and get his account closed same thing. So do nothing and hope it go's away. Come on people we must be able to think of something. Boundary's must be obeyed.
John Auckland NZ.

Mark

I want to take action against this person but I haven't had any information provided to me. I also reached out to the Pro in question but still don't have a name.

Brandi

Thats frustrating that she wont leave bad karma because that leaves room for more bad happenings to happen to other Pros. I understand being spooked about him knowing where she lives, but lock your doors, and be aware at all times.

its just as much of a possibility for a bad neighbor, or a stalker from the store to come in and attack you, as a client from here,  So pros, please be honest and possibly save the other pros! 

Shouldnt this be under the report abuse thread?

I'm interested in more of this story . Was some kind of threat made by the offender in regards to negative feedback or karma?

Whoa... not cool.

Yeah, with this guy or girl out there you're only allowing someone else to get assaulted.  Report! Report! Report!  Restraining orders, police, etc will keep them from your home.

 Hey guys I understand I am a newbie here but I am going to *very cautiously* chime in.  And by "very cautiously" I am hoping I don't get my head bit off or make any enemies.  I am sharing this personal information because I do believe I am among kind and gentle empathetic humans in this space… 

 I am a survivor of two very vicious sexual assaults. One when I was 19, I was carjacked and sexually assaulted by strangers.  They never caught the guys but they had my purse, drivers license and all of my credit cards, photos and identifying information plus the keys to my house. Obviously we changed the locks right away  when I was released from the hospital but I lived in fear until we moved wondering if these guys would come looking for me.

And two separate times I was brutalized by my ex-husband.  He is of course now my EX husband, but I still have to sit in doctors office waiting rooms and teacher conferences for my kids and have communication with this gross person. I'm not sure if everyone is aware how terrifying it can be to report any of these things to the authorities or live in fear of retaliation. I'm just putting it out there because I absolutely agree that people like this jerk need to be flushed out and not able to do it again, but I'm also very empathetic with the person this happened to and they need to be respected because they are the one who is going to suffer retaliation if there is any. 

@Mark  is there a way to contact them privately?   Sexual assault is a crime but victims of sexual assault need to be treated with a lot of care and respect. I can speak personally that this is very often not the case, and that lack of empathy causes additional and unnecessary secondary trauma.

 My heart hurts reading things like this and I hope she is OK.  It also gives a tremendous amount of pause as I decide how to keep myself safe. 

Hugs everyone, this thread is heavy stuff. 

@fireandblue I personally would not feel comfortable hiring a pro that's been a victim of sexual assault. We have had situations blow up on here due to females that had ptsd. I hope you're sure that you're up for this because you will be in intimate situations with people that are basically strangers. If I were you, I would be sure to ready your potential clients karma.

LOL @Morpheus sooooooo many assumptions. 

 And in all honesty, I think your reply it's kind of rude. As if to say one third of the women on the planet are somehow damaged because horrible people violated them?  I'm pretty sure most people walking the earth have had both good and bad in their life. It's all about how you deal with it. 

 First, I believe in the power of therapy and I have had quite a lot of it. Second, you don't know me as a person and I assure you I have my shit together. Life can throw anybody horrible situations, but it depends on what you do with it.

Also, did you note that happened almost half of my lifetime ago? I have had plenty of time to work through it. 

 Oh and hey, next time you open the trunk of a car and see that emergency release latch think of me and the other dozen people that got that legislation push through.  What happened to me (and the others involved in making huge changes) saved hundreds or thousands of more people and I am damn proud of that.

I am not a victim, I'm a human who has had big experiences and even bigger wins because of them. 

 I also survived the Northridge earthquake and saved two other people's lives in the process. I'd say my "karma" is doing nicely in this lifetime.  

Brandi

Youre strong and perfect @fireandblue. And I think youre totally right. And anyone can be a pro if they have a healing heart, kind touch and a loving nuturing instinct and a drive to help others which you totally seem to have! And thank you for standing up for yourself, and others we need more people like you around here ^~^... Thats totally not fair for people to make assumptions and judegments based off someones past..

big hugs to you! And good luck on pro cuddling, if you ever want to exchange numbers to text feel free to shoot me a message!

Big hugs and love to you, Brandi!  I am meeting so many truly amazing people through this cuddling community and I am so grateful.  Sent you a friend request

 I have a kind and gentle heart but I also contain a lot of fire within me (Irish. Redhead, blue eyes, not my fault LOL) and I simply refuse to take responsibility for being seen as "damaged"  and refuse to allow those types of generalizations to linger around for others. 

just because other people don't realize almost every woman who walks the planet at some point in her life will encounter some kind of unwanted sexual advances, sexual trauma or abuse, rape or sexual discrimination. So if  people think it is OK to generalize and say "I would never snuggle with a person who has sexual trauma" you may want to start thinking about men. Because although men can also have sexual trauma, it statistically is at nowhere near the alarming rate like "almost all women in their lifetime" which would pretty much exclude every woman by your standard.

 And, never ever under estimate the power of healing.  I've been through a lot in my life and I never let any of the bad stuff define me. 

MsClickers

Were all damaged in way or another. What's amazing about humans, is the ability to heal. Sure some wounds, take longer to heal than others, and when they do, they might leave nasty scars. What determines the scar is 1) How you care for it 2) Genetics

Some of the best 'healers', and I use that term loosely (meaning not just cuddlers) have been the most damaged. The amount of practice it takes is incomparable. To reinvent yourself is not an easy task.

This movement and community is amazing. The man who did that needs more help than any cuddler can give him. It's unfortunate that someone who has opened there heart to a real human connection had to experience that.

If you have a bad apple you can throw it out, but sometimes if you bite into one it ruins them forever.

snuggle554321

@Brandi @fireandblue @Msclickers STANDING OVATION!!!!!!!

@Brandi  Girl! I agree with everything you said! 

@msclickers  I couldn't agree with you more! Well said! 

@fireandblue You are absolutely one amazing woman and I can tell you are going to be a great pro too!  The saying "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" is very true!  People who've been through different traumas develop a better understanding and sympathy/empathy than people who haven't been through that same situation.  It also took an amazing amount of courage for you to share those personal details about yourself. For that I commend you!!!!  People who talk about others who are "broken" seem to forget that when a bone is broken, once it heals, it becomes stronger in that location.  Obviously sweetie, you have healed and become insanely strong!  Diamond encrusted titanium! Nothing is going to cut you but another diamond and NOTHING is going to break you!!!!!!!  You ever want to talk you feel free to message me! I would love to talk to you!!!  HUGE, MASSIVE, INSANELY BIG HUG!!!!!!!!

And a HUGE HUG!!!! to all the other ladies and men who have struggled yet managed to become an even better person than before!!!  You are all amazing! XOXOXOXO

GROUP HUGS, everyone invited!!

 First, I want to say thank you for having this community to begin with, and creating space to have these sometimes difficult or emotional discussions, even with disagreements and different viewpoints on a subject, it seems this is a group of mature and emotionally healthy individuals who can you take a difficult subject and work it through and then hug it out, and still remain an amazing supportive community. That is definitely something I want to be a part of!   It is rare and it is beautiful. 

 And second, I want to say a very special thank you for this beautiful group of women here who spoke out on the thread and also privately. It took me several months of researching and hanging out on the sidelines before I decided to do any cuddling, let alone become a " professional" Cuddler.  I realize that I not only have the support of my friends in real life, people who have known me for 10 or 20 or 30 years, and they say this is the perfect job for me in addition to attending women in childbirth, I also have the support of my dad… But also the biggest thank you for being the people you are,  strong amazing woman who lift each other up and support each other.  Those are the people I choose to spend my time with. I definitely made the right decision and I feel very welcome among you. 

MUCH LOVE AND GRATITUDE

pmvines

I had a long conversation with a friend last night who is a masseuse (well flurry of text messages rather because that is how people talk nowadays. Man I feel out of touch). She was telling me how a new client was getting really pervy with her and kept trying to touch her and what not. She eventually ended the session and he got angry. Guys please remember, just because you pay for somebodies time does not mean you can treat them with such disrespect! They are not your girlfriend, nor are they a prostitute! There are plenty of people who offer these kind of services, and these are not them!

4cuddles

Agreed wholeheartedly Pmvines. Also add that girlfriends and prostitutes deserve respect too:).

pmvines

Annie85, you are correct, everybody deserves to have their space and bodies respected

snuggle554321

 I couldn't agree more! 

im800mhz

Anyone who comes here to infiltrate the community and use this as an opportunity to perv off should be banned, named and shamed. Sure, we want to keep it positive, I get that: but we also have to protect the community from becoming overrun with these types and let them know YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE and YOU WILL BE EXPOSED, so they will troll on to some other place where pervs and creeps congregate. Not here, not on our street!

Maybe they just need a hug

greenearth2

Brandi that is simply not true.
It is not just as likely for a random stranger to come and attack her ..
If you have a known creep and he knows where you live and you piss him off that is much more likely to bring you harm than some random stranger who you haven't interacted with at all.

@im800mhz are you the new sheriff in town?

And to be clear, women can come off as creepy as well. For my safety I will never host. I prefer a 3rd party location only at least to meet. Pro or non-profit first meetup would be at a coffee shop or something. I didn't do that at first on other sites but feel it is best for me.

funandadventure

Well that got us going, all of the comments are so valid @FireAndBlue you are a strong person and I fully agree, you have healed, In my job I have seen it from all side, when younger I worked all departments and volunteered with doctor's with out boarders in a support role, many years ago , so I have seen the mess first hand and what it can do.
Good thread and @mark please try and find the person, so others are safer.
Love you all from John and his trees, Auckland NZ

Find him and me and John will cuddle sandwich him

funandadventure

That is fine by me, who is the big spoon.

@Morpheus While you're sandwiching I'll give an elbow off the top rope.

Macho Man style.

"Ohhhhh yyyyyeah!"

pmvines

Snap into a slim jim!!!