@MrAdmirer yep, simple as you wrote. @carrieanne you mentioned that’s a female thing, - however, this website has an incredibly wide ratio of male to female enthusiasts.
@Maverick07 I hear about the ratio anecdotally, but does the site keep statistics on that? Does someone actually know the percentage of male versus female, pro versus enthusiast, active versus inactive?
@carrieanne 💯🎉
@MrAdmirer “I don't want a relationship, nor am I the hookup type. Platonic cuddling to me is the perfect solution.”
Ditto! 🙌✨🥰
@Charlie_Bear Whaaat! I missed out on Mario Kart! 😳
@jaswbrown “Things escalated to competitive Mario Kart action? […] things got racy?“
I’m dying. 😂😂😂
@MrKinder You pretty much nailed it and took the words out of my keystrokes.
I get "the other thing" at home. I don't get cuddles, so I get them here.
Sex is easy. I pretty much got that covered. But a good cuddle friend can be surprisingly hard to find .
In case anyone doesn't want to see it, I'm going to be very open here, but Ill still be reserved in my wording for sake of the thread...consent is paramount I'm 42 and I've only ever been with two people for that "other thing". I do have a high drive for that "other thing" but finding anyone even for just platonic touch has proven difficult for me over the years. My wife cheated on me, and was never interested in the "other thing" with me. I found myself craving touch in any form. The only other person I have been with for the "other thing", and I'm not proud of it, was someone who was paid for it. When that person left, I felt more alone than I ever have, and felt such a hole that was left having not been filled with any affection or cuddling after, etc. I was quite surprised at feeling a differentiation between the two acts and the lack of the later. Today, I still crave both, but find such a deep need for the platonic. Just to know that someone else wants to hold you, love you even if just platonically, is so very, very needed and cathartic. I cannot express how much healing it does. CC has been so amazing at making me feel less like I'm alone in the universe. Now, if I can just find more enthusiasts near me so my bank account wont suffer as much as it does, I'll be a happy fella Hope this was ok, if not please advise and I'll be happy to delete. I'm not usually this open, but have been trying to be more so as of late.
@1_teddybear that’s my experience - and from many other guys here according to the forum. But my point is the misconception of guys not being into cuddling.
@Originalirish , be gentle with yourself. Sex work is just as legitimate as paying for a massage or having a chef cook a meal for you. I'm sorry your experience there left you unfulfilled.
I think a lot of human beings are suffering from a lack of things they need or crave. There's no closeness, no community. The bonds that used to last lifetimes have become ethereal, fleeting experiences. We are all so distant in such a connected world 😒
Be well
I think this whole thread is a case of "not all men." It selects for people who agree with the title so it's just an echo chamber of agreement. You all may be respectful of boundaries and only interested in platonic cuddling, but there are plenty of men on this site who aren't and don't. Nothing you say here will ease any woman's "trust issues" because for every one of you here, there are three more creeps who think that all women on this site are interested in prostitution, that getting handsy is okay as long as they offer payment, that won't take no for an answer. It is those men you should be talking to, not your fellow platonic cuddlers or us. We don't have "trust issues." What we have are very valid concerns, because no one reveals such intentions before meeting - the site literally prohibits it. I'm going to assume this thread is well-intentioned, but it does come off patronizing in the assumption that we would be reassured by a handful of men telling each other that they value intimacy over sex.
Reported and reviewed. The discussion should not be directed towards the offenders, at least not in these forums, because whatever justification they convince themselves to be acceptable would have no place here. As for nobody revealing their intentions before meeting...we go through an exhausting amount of reports that would indicate otherwise. I'm not sure I follow the reasoning why men should be discouraged from discussing their reasons for preferring platonic touch here. I'm leaving your comment intact, but it seems like you are directing your justified disdain of predators at the wrong people. [Charlie_Bear]
@jintx The compassion evident in your post was very much appreciated.
Thank you @jintx I appreciate you
@touchfile Yes, it's unfortunate there are some creepy lurkers here. It's certainly colored my perspective on the site so I'm back on mute while I consider if this is really a feasible thing for me. In the meantime, the boards have been great for getting my neurons firing so I'll just enjoy CC in this capacity for now.
But as to the question at hand - someone I've been communicating with asked about what brought me to CC/what my name meant so will just paste here:
He works for a month at a time. With travel, he's usually only home for 11-12 days. To skip ahead in your questions, his work schedule has a lot to do with my seeking out CC. It's very hard for me to ... I guess be aware of the need for touch when he's gone for so long. I kind of ignore it and then find it hard to shift my energy back when he comes home.
Calibrate is sort of dual purpose. Me regulating and adjusting myself by seeking positive touch. And also me syncing my energy with my cuddle partner and finding balance between the two of us.
@touchfile You are correct, but most of these threads are echo chambers regardless of the subject. Nothing ever really gets solved on the forums, but it makes some people feel better about themselves—that they are experts on cuddling, or they DM others to promote a thread they started, or bloviate over their accomplishments. So yeah, you are pretty spot on that the forums mask deeper issues.
The fact that you are aware of this and understand that until you meet anyone on here and have a satisfying shared experience in person that these are not real friends or people who have your best interest at heart means you are an individual with a healthy perspective.
And report the creeps.
I guess I choose cuddling more than the "other thing" because of the closeness and the low key physical intimacy that cuddling provides without the pressures of "the other thing".😊
Plus, I have never been disappointed when it comes to cuddling, now while doing "the other thing"...??? 😌 Lots of disappointments when it comes doing "the other thing" in my past experiences. 🙄
Besides after being celibate (not excluding masturbating with my toys😉) over a decade now, "the other thing" isn't much of a necessity for me these days, do I miss "the other thing"? Sometimes, but then I recollect on my past "other thing experiences" and I start to wonder about having "the other thing" again...🤔 I just shake my head "NO!" smile and say to myself:
"Nah, I'm good with my toys. My toys never disappoint me. Energizer and Duracell rules!"
😁😁😁
@FunCartel I'll have to disagree about nothing ever getting solved on these forums. I actually had an epiphany while responding to touchfile - that CC isn't a feasible option for me. It took me saying that "aloud" to solve an issue that's been niggling at me. It's taken discussions about consent and boundaries to solve things I've been pondering for years - but hadn't really sat down to consider fully.
The overwhelming majority of my interactions on the forums have been positive and enlightening. Shoutouts especially to @cuddlefaery and @SunsetSnuggles - tons of knowledge gained from you two that I'll carry with me. Messages from other long-term members have also been delightful and appreciated.
Unfortunately, my overall connections with people here have just made me all the more cautious about seeking this as an outlet for positive platonic touch. I think I had a very simplified idea of what all this would entail; I suppose because my own needs and motivations were very simple for coming here.
A lot of this new caution has been due to said creeps but also realizing there are so many deeper issues here, as you mentioned. I probably wouldn't have come to this realization without observing and engaging within the forums so I'll stick firm to them being necessary resources.
I think I'll still be able to find compatible cuddle partners through other outlets so, while this isn't one, I've enjoyed my time here. Hope everyone finds their ideal cuddle partner(s)☺️
@Calibrate715 I'm so depressed you are leaving, but really understand and respect your decision. You did good while you were here.
@Calibrate715 I wish you well.
Platonic relationships, including cuddling, are much easier for me than romantic relationships.
@Calibrate715 Farewell my friend. You have already deleted so you won't see this, but still.
@Erin_Elle_ I have failed you. I know you have no plans to return here (LA), but if you do, I will have a controller waiting.
@jaswbrown omg yes lol 😅
@Calibrate715 I wish you well in your future endeavors. Sometimes this isn’t for everybody may you find what you’re looking for someday.
I would take cuddling over sex any day because cuddling is all about intimacy and comfort without the pressure of expectations or performance. It's a way to connect with someone on a deeper level and feel safe and loved. Plus, there's something incredibly soothing about the physical act of cuddling itself that can make you feel warm and cozy inside. It's like a big, comforting hug that lasts as long as you want it to.
@Charlie_Bear talking about video games while cuddling and continuing on to play video games like Mart Kart 64 sounds like an amazing time. There are also several cuddle positions that work well for playing video games together 🎮 🥰 Plus it's always nice to have someone to share the excitement (or frustration) of the game with.
@LadyVel Ok I need to learn these positions cause that would be awesome!
@Charlie_Bear Here is just some of the cuddle positions that can work for gaming and cuddling depending on how much touch and cuddles you want. I've also took turns playing where one person would cuddle the other while they played and trade off.