@KarmicKuddles20
But some girls get their period at 10, or even 6 (poor babies). Are we supposed to call them women? 🥴
~ Sunset Snuggles
I would barely know what to say tbh...
@SunsetSnuggles no, certainly not! Gah, I couldn't even imagine. Sorry, I wasn't accurate.
I was more or less responding in reference to his 20yr old friend, who isn't a girl - unless that's what she prefers 🤷🏼♀️
Everyone has a preference and if in doubt, I ask the person in question
@Sheena123
So I did add it to my profile. Thanks for the suggestion. I may just end up changing my username to avoid another confusion. Something I’ll think about….
This thread has went off topic lol. But to the compliments, I'm very careful with giving them now because of most people taking them wrong. Just because I say a woman is stunning/beautiful/gorgeous doesn't mean something platonic.
I'm a very straight man and I have no problem telling men they have it together. I have went to men and been like brother looking good, or damn your arms are huge!
Society today makes it were MEN need to walk on egg shells at all times. I welcome positive comments about my appearance at all times, men/women and everything in between.
Now saying a person is sexy is totally different. You should be able to compliment someone without it seeming like your trying to get in their pants.
Someone's eyes in this thread for one would be something i would point out if I were to see them. Definitely something one could get lost in.
@BlackKalel I do hate how things have changed to the point where guys have to walk on eggshells all the time. I prefer the way things used to be, warts and all.
@KarmicKuddles20 Occasionally I think it's funny when people try to offend me too, LOL.
@KarmicKuddles20 - This only gets more confusing as we go along. I you happened to be my very special friend (and I certainly wouldn't mind), would you, at the age of 54 be my girlfriend, or my womanfriend, Certainly, @SunsetSnuggles would prefer girlfriend. Certainly, girlfriend and womanfriend, can have very different connotations. Do we need use womanfriend when there is a romantic or sexual connotation, and woman friend when there are not.
You suggest that when speaking to the person, that we should call her either a woman or a girl, depending on her preference, rather than on her age. How would this apply when when we either don't know the person, or don't know her well enough to know her preference" Several times in this post, I have used the word "person," even though it is gender nonspecific, and the word "female" would be far less awkward. Unfortunately, English doesn't seem to have two words that are equivalent to "person," but are gender specific.
The Collins dictionary has one definition of girlfriend as "A girlfriend is a **female ** friend." Ops.
I can recall once, trying to hire a draftsman. The best candidate to apply was a young woman. I offered her the job, at the same salary as we paid the men who did the same work. Then, I half jokingly added "as long as you don't mind having you job title be draftsman." I was astonished when she got up and walked out.
Sometimes I wonder why we don't use the non-word "huwoman," when referring to that half of the human race.
I suggest that we men don't deserve to be beaten up for the deficiencies of the English language.
@GreatHornedOwl I like how you and @KarmicKuddles20 know how to converse well.
Aww... I'm very sorry if you felt like I was beating you up @GreatHornedOwl 😩 I am also sorry for any person who feels they need to walk on eggshells. I recognize that it is/can be confusing. Honestly, I really meant to be lighthearted (I should probably stay away from forums but I felt that since I navigated reptile forums successfully, I should be okay here. Those forums are bananas!) Anywhoo... there isn't a one-fit answer, I'm afraid. Everyone is different and has different needs... with that said, I'm backing slowly away 😵💫
@BlackKalel is correct, somehow this thread went wildly off-topic, so to make sure I stay on topic: The compliments that mean the most are thoughtful and genuine. I love men, I appreciate you, I see you. I know you're trying (we all are, aren't we?). If you compliment me, I will always say thank you.
@KarmicKuddles20 - Please don't back away. I've enjoyed conversing with you. I know that you were being lighthearted. I was referring to those feminists who seem to enjoy beating up on any man, whose choice of word, might offend them.
As I was writing this, I had to laugh. I wonder why they seem to relish being called feminists, when by their own logic, they would more properly be called womanists.
HA! that is a fair point... womanists. I like it. Maybe that's a new thread?! DM me and we can duke it out
Did you say reptile forum?
@lovelegs14 @KarmicKuddles20
Ditto, exactly what kind of reptile are we talkin', here? 😆
@lovelegs14 @SunsetSnuggles I currently have a doggie, but my pets of choice are reptiles. I had an iguana (Gladys) for almost 20 years and a chameleon (Ophelia) who was the love of my life. Herpetoculture has different forums on how to care for alll kinds of reptiles... as an avid herper (I raised roaches so that their food source was untainted) and lover of anything scaly, I participated in many of them. Until my lovelies died. Now I'm so sad, I can't visit those forums ... and once again, I'm off-topic. I'm failing miserably today lololol
...Oh. See now, I was envisioning this... Or this...
🤣
Ahem. So glad to hear you meant actual reptiles. 😄
Would love to see your babies, and I'm so sorry you lost them. I'm sure they had a lovely life with you as their mama.
@SunsetSnuggles how did I know that's what you were thinking lol
I’ll have to check it out. I have a 2 year old painted turtle. I love him. I did a lot of reading about them to get educated.
@BlackKalel
😈🐍🦎
flagged, reviewed, and removed [Shake49]
@Morpheus
If you're referencing me, if I'm not mistaken you made that comment close to three years ago. Back when I was new to the site and before I recognized a pattern than I can easily spot today.
If you want the truth it infact bothered me then, but I felt being nice was the better of two paths to take.
My philosophy: just freakin ask, never assume - make it a habit as it hurts no one, gets easier, and makes life a lot more accessible for everyone.
It boils down to recognizing and honoring people as fully autonomous humans who deserve to have their wishes and boundaries respected wherever possible.
you don't have to ask these all at once, but perhaps as they come up or as you get to know them. Write them down to remember. I use the notes section of my phone contacts liberally.
!
This is my go-to opener to blanket touch consent. It really isn't that complicated, and after doing it a few times it stops feeling weird.
@GreatHornedOwl here's a question for you re: the use of person -
How often does the gender or sex of the person you are talking about in 3rd person truly matter to the context of what you are saying? If you replaced the word "woman" in whatever you are communicating with the word "person", would it fundamentally change the meaning of what you telling the other person?
While absolutely there are some contexts where gender and sex are important, people tend to overestimate how much they need gendered pronouns/nouns in order to be understood. I'm able to refer to all of my partners collectively by the singular, genderless "partner" when talking about them casually and no one ever gets confused or has to stop me and ask "which partner do you mean?" - most people don't even know I have multiple and will make their own assumptions I'm sure. It matters not in the conveyance of whatever little anecdotal story I'm chitchatting about.
Similarly, we are able to substitute in genderless nouns and pronouns for people's names and descriptors because largely those details are not central to what we are conveying. If our audience needs those particular details or get confused, they can always ask us for clarification anyway.
"My male coworker was late again today." "Oh? Which one?" "Bob." In this example, the sex of the coworker wasn't central - what does the sex of a coworker have to do with being late? But the listener was curious and wanted more detail, so asked and was answered. Simple, with no gendered language necessary.
If you're having to give a description to the police or a person's sex/gender are central facts of the story - by all means, include them. But you may be surprised how little you actually need the filler, and how if you don't know a person's gender for sure there are easy genderless swaps to make.
You're right, it usually doesn't matter, but in those cases where it does matter, it matters.
If I say something about a person I want to cuddle with, then in order for anybody to really understand what I was saying, they would need to know both my gender, and the gender of the person I was speaking of.
If I say that I didn't care for the skirt that some person was wearing, knowing the gender of that person would also be critical to understanding what I was saying.
you're an example of one of the "men" that cause the problem we are experiencing today. Don't assume because you got away crossing some boundaries that is because you're a sweet talker even if you didn't know the boundary. After reading whichever pro was the one with boundaries. Correct response when realizing you did was be quiet and not to do again to pro in the future OR be a good example of a "MAN" and privately apologize for crossing a boundary you were unaware of and again not do it again.
Acting like your sweet talking made this woman change her views is not it.
Reported, reviewed, and tag removed. [-Sid]
The only compliments I give to cuddlers are based on cuddling, and their overall bravery for being so giving and trusting that they would come to me and lay in my arms. I've never made a compliment based on looks....and yes ever person I have cuddled with I feel is attractive to me. But, I'm here 100% for the platonic cuddles.
EDIT: And I should add I don't have a problem if people give them, this is just how I treat this site.
@BlackKalel Agree 💯. One should certainly not rationalize poor behavior towards women.
@BlackKalel I agree. Well said.
I personally would feel incredibly uncomfortable giving someone a compliment based on their appearance on here. I feel like if I was to do so, it would be taken as non-platonic.
super classy and oodles of insight Reported and reviewed. Removed tag. [Charlie_Bear]
@Charlie_Bear i know you have a job to do and you're my bud so I'm going light here but seriously? Dude was tagged because his comments were specifically being responded to. Now the posts just seem weird wirh no context. With all the posts that people are tagged on so there is context for the responses , why does this guy get a pass ? You're not the feelings police. Please don't feel obligated to appease everyone who flags something, you do a great job already and don't have to please everyone who has a complaint.