Newbies Safe Space 🫂

We must stick together 🫶

Ayo, it’s Father Earth 🌍

If you are new to this site like me, then you know joining this site can be scary.. and you’re probably wondering:

What am I doing?

Why am I here?

Is this safe?

Will my family and friends find out?

Listen. You have the freedom to simply exist and do as you please. Society is already judgmental enough! Get out of your head, relax, and enjoy some cuddles 💛

TxTom

I must be missing something. How is cuddling, and a cuddling rendezvous site scary, exactly?

@TxTom As silly as it sounds, I believe the word "scary" holds more weight on the psychological affect of trying something new has over people versus the actual site itself. Cuddling isn't scary when consensual (which this site offers).. but meeting someone for the first time, or even setting up a profile may cause anxiety/paranoia for some folks.

The goal is to always provide comfortability to those you exchange with.

TxTom

Okay. Yes, but the premise of this site is that your fellow cuddlers already know why you're here. No expectation of an explanation as to why you're here is necessary. That should remove any anxiety, I would think. But that's just me.

AngelPendavez

Ayo, Father Earth! 🌍 Nice to meet'cha, I'm Angel!

Not a new comer, been here while, but I hope it's okay for me to comment anyway!

I definitely did tread lightly when I first arrived here, not knowing what to expect.
But from lurking and observing, I learned that this was a lovely little community full of beautiful people.

I came here in search of connection. Hoping to spread some love and hopefully get a little love back in return.

Of course, I quickly realized that this place was no safer than anywhere else, and one must remain vigilant.
There will always been the few that ruin it for the many (and sometimes even the many that ruin it for the few).
It's important to screen carefully and protect oneself at all times.
Trust your feelings, always.

I've often wondered what I would do if a friend or family member found my profile. If they were also a member, I suppose I'd be delighted to find out we're both members of a pretty niche community.
I'm not thrilled at the idea of having to explain my presence here to some of them, namely my folks.
I worry about being infantilized and misunderstood.
But I suppose I would embrace it if it ever came to light, and stand firm in my convictions.

I appreciate this beautiful reminder:

"You have the freedom to simply exist and do as you please."

And I'm happy to offer whatever support I can as well!

Thank you for shining your light!

PeopleLikeUs

@FatherEarth Totally! My first cuddle on this site was scary. I like your approach. There is a deep need here on CC to break through those fears with first-time cuddles. You have a strong sense of what first-time cuddlers are facing. For some, it's a continuous effort. You're on the right track to becoming a very effective Pro.

Sideon

@FatherEarth - I moved your post. There is NO advertising in the general forum. Thanks.

@TxTom

A cursory glance at the nearly unending forum threads about how best to “set up” your profile, write your bio, which photos to use, what poses are non-threatening, what your first message should contain, etc, etc, etc clearly shows us that, while we all in theory “know why we are here” and that there should be “no expectation of explanation” needed, the pragmatic truth is, this is a dating site.

A highly specific, single activity, strictly platonic dating site (with professional daters available) I grant you, but still basically a dating site in format and interaction.

And humans being humans, when first impressions are so important then anxiety and nerves are totally normal.

theo_

So when I joined I didn’t have a picture up, initially. I was embarrassed someone would find me here. But then I thought “so what”? No one should be embarrassed to be who they are and do what they like. If someone finds me out, I hope they reach out so I can tell them how awesome cuddling can be.

TxTom

@CharlesInWI I might understand being nervous on a romantic dating site where first impressions may make or break the possibility of relationship, but CC is not that. As you say, it's a very specific activity. What a Pro thinks of you---besides is she going to be safe---it seems to me, is not relevant to the specific activity.

@TxTom Different strokes for different folks. I love that you feel that way! I hope more people come onto this site with this mindset of knowing.

@EarthlyAngel003 Wow, beautifully said! And of course you can comment haha. The newbie aspect is to make those who are just joining to feel comfortable but we need veterans like you to remind us as well that we are in a safe haven.

I share very similar sentiments in regards to family and friends finding my profile. I am such a people's person so I have no shame of expanding the love I have to offer to the world. I pray you will continue to receive the love and connection you are searching for.

Thanks for sharing your perspective with us 💛

@PeopleLikeUs You get it man! The more honest we can be with intimacy, even on a platonic level, the better the experience we all will have on this platform. Thank you for your kind words. I hope you're having a great night!

@Sideon Oops! I had no clue, I can remove any wording that is breaking any rules (if that helps). Thanks for the info.

@CharlesInWI You 100% understand!!! 😅

pmvines

@TxTom just because you might feel a.certain way about something doesn't mean that others might not feel differently

TxTom

@pmvines Yes, I understand that. I wasn't delegitimizing the OP's post. I was asking for clarification and just stating my own view. Unfortunately, forum posts don't come with tone or inflection.

TheFunCartel

it seems to me

The precursor to judgement. If it is scary to them it does not much matter how it seems to you.

PrettyLuv

@TxTom Since when do you dictate what’s necessary and what isn’t? If the guy wants to give an explanation about why he’s here then so be it. Wtf is it to you?

I actually read your post @FatherEarth and appreciated what you wrote. Welcome to the site.

TxTom

@PrettyLuv I'm not a Mod. I can't dictate anything. And I believe he, in fact, did give an explanation of why he is here. But hold on, let me scroll back up and check, just to be sure...

Yep. His perfectly legit explanation is there. My take is different. So "Wtf" backatcha.

@FunCartel If the phrase "it seems to me" is too aggressive for you, I can go edit it out. But it has to do with a viewpoint, not judgement. My first post on this thread was a question. He elaborated.

INurturePeace

Just because there is marketing involved does NOT make this a dating site.
How do you know what candy bar to buy? The packaging, what it has inside of it. Do you want to date a candy bar?
How do you know what car to choose? The specs, the price, etc. you look at how it’s marketed. Do you want to date a car?
THIS IS NOT A DATING SITE. PERIOD.

PrettyLuv

@TxTom I’m happy you can scroll. You can stop to read it now.

The issue isn’t whether or not he explained himself, it’s that after he did, you “seemed” to have a problem with it.

Trying to invalidate the premise of his post in saying his “explanation” isn’t necessary and then scrolling up to confirm “his perfectly legit explanation” seems rather contrary.

“But that’s just me.”

TxTom

I wasn't trying to invalidate anyone @PrettyLuv And I don't know what else to say other than you really got yourself worked up over a big Nothing Burger.

TheFunCartel

Gotta agree with @PrettyLuv .This is what you said after his initial post and his explanation:

No expectation of an explanation as to why you're here is necessary

Ever think him giving an explanation of his anxiety lessens his anxiety? I get why you see it as unnecessary, and I am the same way, but we are not him and it is not our call as to how someone else copes with anxiety. To say his explanation isn’t necessary is dismissive as much as you have attempted to now explain that fact away to 4 or 5 different people on this thread. Sometimes it’s best just to own your missteps and move on.

TxTom

@FunCartel Perhaps that's true. I thought knowing he did NOT have to explain or justify his reasons would do that, taking my cue, of course, from CC itself:

TheFunCartel

@TxTom Marketing, as much as it thinks it can and as many people who do take their cues from marketing, is incapable of controlling people’s emotions and stress. The individual themself is often helpless in the face of firing nerve receptors, bodily chemicals and psychological triggers. So CC can say that all they want but they know better. The unknown can simply be scary until you experience it.

With that being said, just about everyone here has misspoken on the forums at some point. I am the king at that. Trust me, explaining what your intent was all day long is fruitless. I have been there and done that so many times. Just let it lie and people will forget in 24 hours.

TxTom

I didn't misspeak. I asked the OP a question and then offered a different perspective. That's all. Even the OP quite cordially acknowledged our different views. Since then, with other folks, it's been a lot of splitting hairs.

But I agree with you @FunCartel I'm happy to drop it.

pmvines

Only 19 and a half hours to go until all is forgotten!!

TxTom

Thanks for the update @pmvines

Let me know when the clock reaches 00:00 so I can go find another thread to ask questions of.

netrunner

@CharlesInWI

.... the pragmatic truth is, this is a dating site.
A highly specific, single activity, strictly platonic dating site (with professional daters available) I grant you, but still basically a dating site in format and interaction.

If you truly see Cuddle Comfort as a dating site in any fashion, please feel free respond this is how you view the site so we can address things appropriately.