Cuddlers with physical disabilities

cuddlesonwheels

Hey,
I'm curious what other cuddlers with physical disabilities experience here.
I've had some great experiences here that I feel have led to lifelong friends in instances. I've also experienced incredibly long periods of, for lack of better words, cuddle dry spells lol. In terms of responses when reaching out to people.
Now I'll be the first to admit that I'm terrible at online profiles and my outreach can be bland if I can't find a creative spark that day. I'm open to critique and advice on both as long as it's constructive.
I'm curious if anyone else with a physical disabilities experience this and have found ways around it....or if this is typical for everyone Lol. Lmk.

Hi where are you located

@cuddlesonwheels It's ok, guys outnumber women on this platform by a lot. Dry spells are to be expected, though you have the advantage of being an attractive young man and your disability makes you less threatening. You've already got some karma. After meeting enough pros and enthusiasts you stand a good chance of finding a regular cuddle partner. Then it's all good.

SunsetSnuggles

I don't fall into the demographic you're seeking feedback from, so I can't directly comment, but I wanted to say that some of my absolute favorite, memorable, giggle-filled, and compatible cuddles were with people with physical disabilities. 😊 I also echo @1_teddybear, and regarding your profile, I enjoyed it! Best of luck!!

~ Sunset Snuggles

CuddleForDID

From my personal experience I would just suggest that you make any cuddle partners aware of any equipment you might have, both for your safety and theirs.

My first girlfriend was a diabetic and had a device on her that constantly monitored her blood sugar levels and automatically injected her insulin when it was needed. I didn't realize that was even a thing and accidentally brushed my hand against the injection site which freaked the hell out of me. Had I been aware of it I would have just avoided that area completely.

My son has a surgically implanted feeding tube. I do not mess with that area, My own nerve damage and mental health issues just makes it impossible for me to deal with that stuff and I freak out thinking that has to be painful, even if you assure me you're fine it can still be difficult to calm down if I don't know it's there and discover it by accident.

I don't want to trigger a panic attack in myself or accidentally physically injure the person I'm cuddling so it's just better for both of us if I just don't touch any medical equipment that is in some way ATTACHED to you. Other than the general safety concerns I don't really care. I can even help you get in or out of your wheelchair if you have one, I'm already doing that for my son. I have to wear a back brace now cause he's getting too big to lift without it but we're managing.

outdoorgirl02

Thank you for sharing openly about this topic. We can all learn from you. 💙

This has nothing to do with having a disability but this line in your bio might be turning women away, “…can host, feed and smoke you up.” It could be taken the wrong way or not seem like a safe place to go to. You are telling a potential cuddler that you want to get her high.

hikikomorichan

Being a shut in probably doesn't make things easier.
But then again I probably would not be a hikikomori in the first place if I was not a failure of existence...

Carrie_Anne

@cuddlesonwheels
This is a helpful post, you have a great profile, and I wouldn’t hesitate to cuddle you. Making an adjustment to accommodate is not a big deal to me if you are open about your needs and I let you know if I have any limitations.
If you can find other caring, giving people here I think they would be accepting of your situation.
And given your profession, you’re likely a creative interesting designer, just the type I love to talk to. 🤗

w8ed_blanket

@cuddlesonwheels, I love this post! A passion of mine is integrating equity, accessibility, and inclusivity into any work that I do. I make sure to emphasize this in my profile.

Lots of good comments already: how the pool is more heavily skewed for certain demographics, wording of your profile (@outdoorgirl02), etc.

Echoing @CuddleForDID in expressing any necessary accommodations, areas to avoid, discomforts, or triggers in your profile to inform potential cuddlers and reduce any assumptions about how to approach you. Unfortunately, there's a lot of stigma and biases against disabled individuals, so a profile that helps to demystify your disability helps.

Unrelated, I love how you have a bearded dragon.

Lovelight

I've been a member here on and off for a few years. I've temporarily returned for a few days now after being away for more or less a couple of months.

As a disabled enthusiast who cuddles men, my experience has been difficult partially because of my visible disability and due to certain filters I've such as looking for non smokers, public cuddling, distance, etc. Though I've had pleasant meetings with guys overtime too. I recall cuddling a bit with at least one who didn't push my boundaries. So that was nice.

He thereafter didn't feel comfortable cuddling with me in public and being seen with me because of my disability. He wanted to come over or maybe vice versa. Though that's not what I'm looking for and even if I could do that, I'd rather never cuddle with someone than to cuddle with anyone who is ashamed to be seen with me. My pillow is a thousand times better than that, thank you very much!

I can only imagine the many others who rejected me for the same reason, though gave some other excuses instead.

Although difficult, it's cool with me, everyone is free to cuddle with whoever they mutually feel most comfortable with. I know how awesome I'm and I'm pretty sure they are missing out, which they are free to. 😊

So long story short, that ended there.

I had a cuddle session with another guy which was relatively good, though questionable as far as him respecting the terms of the site.

A number of other cuddlers, I lost count, straight up pushed personal boundaries or in one or another went against the terms of the site. Good thing the moderators have been amazing at handling those issues.

I've also had several other first meetings that were pleasant. Although they didn't lead to a cuddle, which is cool. Or other meetings due to whatever barriers were there. I've also gotten to converse with a lot of awesome folks in the forum too.

I kinda established contacts with a few guys who are far away. They seemed nice to talk with and who knows maybe our paths will have a plesant crossing someday. So far that's been the gist of my experience here.

@Lovelight

With your consent, I would be happy and honored to give you a very public hug, if only here on the forums because of that pesky distance thing.

🫂

Lovelight

@CharlesInWI Awww, thank you! Back at you. 🫂

SunsetSnuggles

@Lovelight posted: "He thereafter didn't feel comfortable cuddling with me in public and being seen with me because of my disability."

That's awful! Did he actually say that to you? Unreal. I'm sorry people are so loathsome.

~ Sunset Snuggles

🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

Minestrone101

@Lovelight You are worthy of affection and cuddles any where. Cheers.

Lovelight

@SunsetSnuggles "That's awful! Did he actually say that to you? Unreal. I'm sorry people are so loathsome."

Not so blatantly, though yes. I can't change having a disability and my mobility needs. I don't expect him to change or be able to how he feels about it. So I definitely don't fault him for his feelings about it nor for telling me.

What hurt the most was him not saying that sooner, leading me on, then at some point going as far as standing me up when I went to where we agreed to meet for the second time, etc. I'm actually glad he was eventually as honest about it as he was. As much as I hate a lot of those experiences I had with him, he ain't really my enemy. Though you know how the saying basically goes, "Better to have a known enemy than a frenemy." So I'm glad he was eventually honest about it and I've become better able to protect myself against such time wasters. So I'm good.

@Minestrone101 I know, right?! Thank you. 🤗

SunsetSnuggles

@Lovelight Ugh that is awful, I'm so sorry that happened.

I am always afraid that people are going to be embarrassed to be seen with me, especially of being seen cuddling with me. It shocks me to this day that anyone is willing to do public cuddles with me...or even cuddle me at all, let's be honest. Self-esteem is an ongoing battle...war...world war...? Yeah.

~ Sunset Snuggles

🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

Minestrone101

@Lovelight Yeah, pple do a lot of instant judgment and stuff to make us feel "lesser than." It also shows their shame of public opinion or cowardice, and being two-faced (only willing to do this in private).

Reminds me of a og Wonder Years episode where Kevin befriended the weird girl "Margaret Farquor" from square dancing class in gym, but would only show recognition and friendship in private. But, he was a teenager!

People who don't give us their all are not worth our time. *z snap *hip sticks out w 'tude

Lovelight

@SunsetSnuggles Thank you, I'm alright though. No worries.

I'm sorry you feel that way. I know this issue goes beyond disability and I've heard others sharing similar experiences.

Such as in romantic relationships where some people barely go out with their partners due to said shame and come up with all sorts of excuses. For me the issue like I'd said is less about being told "because of your xyz I'm not comfortable to be seen with you" or just straight up being rejected, and more about being led on. I remember one guy I had a pleasant first meeting with, though thereafter he told me a straight no. Understandably I was a bit sad, though to this day I've a lot of respect for him.

I'm sure you're amazing to be seen with and anyone who feels differently, that's their problem. I hope you find enough people, if you haven't already, who you feel really accepted by. I know how beautiful and rejuvenating that can be to have.

I've had multiple experiences too not necessarily just here. Where I'd send guys my picture or video call with them and almost if not instantly they'd not wanna talk with me. It used to hurt a lot. I'd send my best picture or really do my hair, and dress up a bit before video calling, all that just to be hung up on... So I stopped sending my picture and putting much effort for video calls. If someone isn't cool with seeing me in my plain state, they can take a hike which is a really nice activity I heard lol.

I've owned just being plain looking and not giving a flying fish about whether or not I look "pretty." That has made my endeavors to go from initial contact to first meetings so much easier, and people who aren't so quick to judge or looking for specific look still meet with me.

So now my attitude is more along the lines of: The best I can do for you, stranger, is basic clothing and like a day or two old hair, sorry not sorry. Unless someone happens to video call with me at a time I happen to be dressed up. Maybe we get to the meeting stage or a second and I'll be more inclined to dress up a bit and come with a newly styled hair.

Besides, so many guys are just in plain t and got no newly styled hair, that is if they've hair to begin with. No shade, people are awesome with or without hair.

So what do I look like going jumping through hoops trying to impress anyone who hasn't really given me anything to impress. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lovelight

@Minestrone101 Definitely, it can be tough out there. Though the more of them tells us and the better we get at spotting said behaviors earlier, the better it is for us.

"Reminds me of a og Wonder Years episode where Kevin befriended the weird girl "Margaret Farquor" from square dancing class in gym, but would only show recognition and friendship in private. But, he was a teenager!"

Oh interesting, I'm not familiar with that. Thanks for telling me about it. 😊

Minestrone101

@Lovelight Yeah. Kevin is a jerk.

But you're awesome!

Lovelight

@Minestrone101 Thank you, you seem awesome too!

CharlieBear

@SunsetSnuggles
I would be honored to be seen with you. People would see me and mouth “how?” and I’d just throw my hands up in the air just as bewildered as they are.

Minestrone101

@Lovelight Ty. I only hope to be like minestrone: warm, soothing, and with some seasoning/spice.

SunsetSnuggles

@CharlieBear... squeezes you close I am honored to know you and would go anywhere on your arm, proudly.

~ Sunset Snuggles

🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover

Lovelight

@Minestrone101 How's black pepper, salt, chilli, and lemon lol? 😊

Lovelight

By the way, @Minestrone101, I used to hear that soup name from someone, though I never knew how it was spelled. So when you added the context I was like ohhhh, wait a minute I heard of that, it's a soup! 😅

Minestrone101

@Lovelight Sounds delicious. It has a weird spelling. I used to pronounce chaos as "chay-os" and lingerie as "linger-eeee" bc I only saw those words on paper but never used it. Minestrone is one of those. Genre is another one and bourgeoisie.

Lovelight

@Minestrone101 I know how it's said and that Italian is a pretty phonetic language, so it's not weird to me.

Though, I can see it being so if thought from the perspective of just an English, or some other non primarily phonetic language speaker.

I don't wanna go too off topic here lol. Though I used to pronounce "Jalapeño" with a j instead of an h, until a lady at the pizza restaurant corrected me or said it the right way. Anyway, awesome chatting with you mate. I'll probably see you around when I return, til then, have a wonderful time. 😅

Minestrone101

sounds good.

you're leaving us?

TR23

I am not a professional. Just someone that has paid for multiple sessions. Disability rights is something that is ingrained in me.

My Dad was a paraplegic all my life until he passed. Even though he had a visible and undisputed disability that everyone could recognize, the amount of misunderstanding by the general public of needs is still staggering. I could easily speak for hours about obscure wheelchair accessibility issues we’ve encountered. Most people don’t recognize how small differences, that most don’t pay attention to, can mean either ease of access or difficult barrier.

In contrast to my Dad’s disability, I have what would be considered “invisible disabilities” that significantly impact me physically in a variety of ways. Dealt with complications from a car accident for years. Went out on medical leave for one set of issues and has been extended out multiple times with diagnoses that I couldn’t have even defined at the time the leave was initiated. It’s easy for people that you know not to understand “why you still aren’t getting healthy” or able to do more activities after so much time. If there is still tremendous misunderstanding of needs from someone like my Dad, then it poses a much greater challenge for acceptance from people that don’t fully understand that you have disabilities.

When booking my very 1st session, I was upfront saying my health the last few years have made the pandemic environment even more isolating. I acknowledged that I have disability and lots of pain. After my message and the brief phone chat she requested, set up an appointment. Before we started cuddling she asked if she should be aware of anything that would require immediate emergency medical care. No, I don’t. She asked what I was comfortable with and if there was anything that would be too difficult or painful for me. I responded. I didn’t go into detail or history of why my health is the way it is, this is what I want to do, and which types of positions I could not do. I appreciate how she approached it from a position of understanding. She was great and I have since returned multiple times.

CuddleHugs01234

@TR23 That’s great she did an awesome job!