As what was easily pointed out earlier, sensitive data was not exchanged anywhere as the forum threads served as the main source of communication this whole time. So locking & hiding it, cut that off entirely.
Removed my comment.
@PrettyLuv - I think that the reasons of what and how the threads were created and locked were clear and transparent. @Charlie_Bear and the event organizers have full support from CC on their decisions. I locked/moved threads as soon as I was notified. You may not like the decisions, but you also weren't responsible for communication here. Second guessing after the fact makes everyone the perfect armchair warrior. What I don't appreciate is insinuating some devious scheme: it was not.
What I'd like to see is people putting as much effort and actions as their easy words. You want a perfect meet up? Get involved. Get organized. Network. Plan. Put in the sweat equity. Figure out a way to generate interest, confirm participants, and have a confirmed public space. Have a backup plan for inclement weather.
Best of luck in your planning efforts.
Removed mine too*
@Sideon I don’t have to be involved in a meetup or put in “sweat equity” to suggest ways of making future meetups safer and responses more inclusive of all members here and not just the few.
Like @Mark said and others noted, no one expected this and it’s very much open for discussion across the board so attempting to silence my opinion because I disagree is rather one-sided.
PART 1 This is my perspective of the shooting event in Prospect Park.
I got there early with some of the other CC peeps to set up tables, get groceries settled, put up some speakers for music, and figure out the best way to orchestrate everyone connecting in a DRY kind of way. (Did y’all know it was raining??)
------Like some have mentioned, there were a few people hanging out in the pavilion with a table, some chairs etc etc etc. but moved their stuff out to the further edge of the pavilion and were extremely kind and respectful when @happybear asked them to and mentioned we had the space reserved. They never tried to interrupt our gathering, panhandle, ask for food or engage with us at all except to exchange some lovely smiles across the way. As far as the shooter or the victim… I’m not interested in trying to decide who was mentally stable/unstable/drunk/homeless these people are all just humans.
We were loud and silly, quiet and connected, hungry and thirsty but we were all having fun greeting each other in our own personalized way.
I was actually not physically under the pavilion when the shooting occurred. Another cuddler and I were off with our umbrellas, chatting and taking a stroll, sharing our stories, and looking at the roller skating rink down the path.
------- Side note, I don’t know that its been mentioned yet, but this park was MAGNIFICENT!! There was hardly any trash, gorgeous landscaping and statues, bandstands, bicycles and small carts for rent, and a rink where you could rent roller skates etc. It was a fabulous choice by the event coordinators, and I can’t imagine finding a more gorgeous area to host this event in a city full of concrete and metal. Just…. WOW. When we were walking back, we noticed there weren’t as many people under the pavilion and thought that maybe the rain had caused some to leave early.
-----------I’m setting the scene so that you can maybe see if from a different perspective than those who were in closer proximity to the victim and the shooter.
There was no widespread panic. The joggers were continuing their daily run. There were no people screaming and running for their lives. The rest of the park seemed as normal as it was when we got there. As we approached the tables, we finally saw police. We saw our people huddled, crying, hugging each other, and we started to understand something was amiss. At this point they started putting police tape directly around the pavilion to preserve evidence.
I felt a little bit like a triage nurse must feel after an attack. Walking from person to person to dole out love and assess damage. Those that were in a haze needed different comfort than the ones who couldn’t stop crying. Connecting people with each other is in my blood and its what I’m good at so that was my go-to.
----------One of the most amazing things to witness came in the form of each and every personality being presented in this after math. No one was told to be anything other than themselves. No one was shamed into anything. There was just an extremely authentic sense of “how can we all help each other right now in this exact moment?” THAT showed me the heart of CC. On so very many levels. All of these people who were connecting because of a similar interest of cuddling…. Just wow.
--------I also got to see people being healthy about their boundaries. In a similar way we learn to have consent around touch we also wind up using consent in the middle of trauma. i.e. “Can I give you a hug?” “Can you tell me what you need right now?” “I am super teary is that something you have the bandwidth for?” Someone grabbed my shoulders and said, “please will you give me some direction so I can stop wandering and be distracted with a task?”
After checking on all my people and figuring out the best course of action for safety, I took some umbrellas over to the policeman who was bandaging up the victim a ways from the pavilion under a tree. One cuddler was down on the ground holding Michael’s hand and reassuring him that people were there to help him… asking him if he knew his name…. and in general providing so much compassion that I would hope he would be the kind of person present if it ever happened to me. (Thank you for this beautiful thing and the space you held for a complete stranger. My heart is full.)
I wanted to use the umbrellas to shield Michael and the officer from looky-loos taking pictures as well as figure out if there were other things needed.
There was a cuddler standing above Michael next to the tree, I can’t even remember who it was at this point. A few more cuddlers came over to assist in making a little perimeter of safety and once the paramedics came, I went to help with other stuff.
I found a close friend/cuddler giving his witness…. he was walking out of the park close to the shooter and giving 911 his whereabouts so they could take him into custody. (Thank you and the other few CC peeps who put yourself in harms way in order to create a shield between the shooter and the cuddle group. Again…. My eyes are teary and my heart is full.) I stood with him for a bit to give some love, told the officer we were a cuddle group, and the questioning ended with hugs all around.
We went off to check on the other people and talk to cuddlers who had come late to the gathering.
----------- We didn’t need to post another alternative location because we were still meeting people there. It wasn’t a hostage situation, there was no longer a threat because the shooter was in custody, and there was certainly a large number of police presence at this point.
By now it was approximately 4:30.
The police let us know that we could gather our belongings and bring in our cars for loading.
There were quite a few people who were still lingering in order to help get everything packed and gathered.
By 5pm we had loaded the vehicles with tables etc. and those who were headed to the train did so together, those who got an uber, shared it, and lots of hugs were given as well.
PART 2 -----------Any organized an event has the distinct characteristics and trademark of those who took the time to facilitate said event. Especially in the realm of CC and the specific parameters of consent I have seen this manifest in such a fabulous way. It starts with an idea. It attracts a coordinator. It is molded and reformulated based on the person/people doing the work. PEOPLE HAVE THE OPTION TO JOIN OR REFRAIN
------Just as much as we’re not going to run around and say “CUDDLE AT YOUR OWN RISK!!” We are going to assume that people who are a part of this cuddle world are grown ass adults and THEY are the only ones responsible for their well being. It is NOT my business to decide what is best for them as cuddlers, or parents, or participants.
If an organizer says “I’m creating an event with food and I’m excluding Nuts and Dairy from the menu because I’m allergic” then that gives all of the participants the option to attend or stay home. Same applies to “Dogs and Children” or “Hammocks and Nametags” or any number of things.
I love… absolutely love that CC is a place where people can speak their mind and have their opinions about how they would orchestrate something, but in EXACTLY the same manner, that needs to be applicable to everyone in the community. So I say…. GO FORTH!! CREATE AN EVENT THAT MEETS YOUR NEEDS!! FACILITATE SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU EXCITED AND CONNECTS PEOPLE IN ANY WAY YOU WANT!! But please do not try and say what the entire community should be held to because you have a specific desire. And please don’t shame anyone for their ideas that may be different from yours. At all.
As a Mom, I wish I would have known about the world of platonic touch and cuddling and CONSENT years ago so that I could have raised my children with this kind of perspective. Like Charlie, I was very grateful to see young minds open to play “consent card games” and express their boundaries to adults and hear what that interaction looks like. It makes me tear up thinking about asking a ten year old girl if she would like a hug and her being able to say boldly “Not right now, but I will let you know if I change my mind.”
OVERALL I had such an enjoyable experience and even though I suffered quite a bit of fear and let down for a few days after I will 100% be looking forward to the next event that I get to go to.
This is my community. These people are my tribe. 😊
@PrettyLuv - if you haven't heard the phrase "read the room" before, then take heed. These threads will not be a platform for theatrics and gossip and dissection. You're not being silenced. You're being directed away from this thread, and I'm not asking. Be very very careful if you consider posting further. You are most certainly being publicly warned.
I was walking the streets of Manhattan with a beautiful soul on Sunday and we came across this sticker…. We were talking about Serendipity (and a million other things) and they translated it for me…
It says "There are those who bring light to this world that even after they leave, their light remains.”
I feel this way about so many people who showed up to the Meet and Greet. I find it unlikely that the NYC police and detectives will not remember us with a different sort of glow.
It's been a week. 7 full days. Reading through the comments had me mostly encouraged and grateful to be here. I adore this community and these people.
I’m glad no one was hurt. I got there around 3 and stayed until 325 and left because the police said I couldn’t cross the line. And these things usually take some time and with a heavy bag and the drenching rain it didn’t seem feasible. Plus the huge communist revolution rally added to the noise.
@justjennn holy cow ! A week ! I’m with you. So many encouraging comments. I’m so glad to see you post here. Just thinking and admiring you from afar. I’m with you , adore this community so much And the people? Just some amazing peeps here 😊👍💛. So glad you’re here with us