I remember last year I was feeling quite depressed so I asked my support worker to take me rock climbing.
Climbing is an activity I’ve always liked so I thought that doing something fun might make me feel better.
It made no difference.
Yes discovering Hanson has helped me feel less depressed in several ways. But it hasn’t healed me completely.
I still find myself stuck in ruts that wave in and out from time to time.
The rock climbing day out did not help me.
I think I now know why. It’s far too safe!!!
I then tried TREE climbing instead at my local park. No harnesses just skills.
It was so much better! And I think that’s because it’s much more risky.
When people witness me climbing and say:
“Patricia get down you might fall!!!”
I’m like:
“Oh really!? You don’t say? I did not think of that!! So THAT’S how heights and gravity work!!! Why don’t you mind your own business!?!? I can make my own decisions, and take my own risks!!!”
Unlike many people I actually know how to climb trees. I know all the techniques to make it as easy and as doable as possible. And I also know how to do it safely as well.
When I get to the top I could theoretically attempt to jump, summer salt, and land gracefully, like an acrobat.
Or I could fail at that stunt and die:
"CRAAK!"
And yes there is that slim chance I could slip and fall. But, I’m willing to take that chance because that’s what makes the climb so thrilling and worth it in the first place.
It gives me an ‘adrenaline rush’ making it even more easy to climb higher and higher.
I have chronic fatigue syndrome and any adrenaline rush really does help my fatigue symptom calm down for a bit.
The other day I answered the door to see a police officer standing there. And I FREAKED OUT!!!
Is someone dead? Did I unknowingly break the law?
THAT gave me an adrenaline rush.
Turns out he was just there to tell me that someone had rammed into my parked car on the street, breaking one of my car’s rear lights.
So that was a relief. It was nothing serious. The culprit will pay to get it fixed. I wasn’t in any trouble at all.
But the adrenaline rush took ages to wear off. It gave me a burst of energy for the rest of the day.
All I need to do to overcome this illness, is find new ways to trigger the adrenal gland. Over and over again.
But that’s probably really hard to do….
When my psychologist asked me what I thought about signing up to a ‘Disability Employment Provider’
I responded with:
“I’d rather jump out of a TREE!!!”
Then I started snickering. Because I could literally do that at any time now ever since I took up the hobby. Next time I climb a tree I technically COULD dive off of the top branch to avoid contact with a Disability Employment Provider. They all suck balls. They’re a waste of time.
Landing on the mulch under the tree is less painful than dealing with those people.
But then I said to myself:
“Why are you laughing??? That isn’t funny! Jumping to your death isn’t amusing!!!”
But I just kept on giggling away anyway for some reason.
Climbing has become a type of therapy for me. I have music, dance, drums, writing, friends, cycling, walking, HANSON, and now climbing, to add to my list of self induced therapies.
Rock climbing and bouldering is very 2D. It’s designed for spiders and other bugs.
We humans are primates, and primates have very different bodies to mini-beasts. We are BIG and have flexible, lengthy, limbs.
2D vertical surfaces like cliffs and mountains are not made for our bodies.
Our bodies are for three dementional structures like big branchy trees!!!
Out entire bodies can wrap around our obstacles where as with rock climbing we just use our finger tips and toes. The rest of us is left out.
Out bodies are more sloth like, not spider like!
There’s a reasons why we see our cousins such as: gorillas, orangutans, monkeys, chimpanzees, baboons, in trees a lot but never trying to climb up a vertical stone cliff.
And even our more distant cousins like the sloth are only found climbing trees, not cliffs, too.
So why aren’t more people turning to trees???
Why do so many climbing enthusiasts find rock walls more appealing?
I do not get it.
I’ve stated before that no I’m NOT actively trying to kill myself. Nor am I even considering it.
But at the same time, I’m not scared of death coming either. Unlike so many other people.
That’s why when in labor I'd ask the doctors to save the baby rather than me, if that choice had to be made.
"To die, would be an awfully big adventure!" -Peter Pan
My Instagram which once used to be just for the sake of following Hanson and their family has now expanded into Auslan tutorial videos and videos of other climbers.