Ripped off by pro

Allen1974Allen1974
edited May 2023 in General

Did anyone besides me send a deposit to [removed]. Ocklahoma City, Kansas City. After I sent the deposit the account was deactivated, when I call the number that she gave me to text there is a message saying the number has been disconnected.

Reported and reviewed. Images and username removed. DO NOT POST PERSONAL INFORMATION ABOUT OTHERS IN THE FORUMS. Please report instead. [Charlie_Bear]

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Comments

  • quietman775quietman775

    Sorry that happened to you. Just a heads up, the site doesn't like people posting screenshots of their communications with named/identified site members. Since you posted her username and even her contact info, you can expect the Mods will either heavily edit this or even remove the post. That said...

    A growing number of pros request advance deposits. But the majority still do not. As a matter of principle, I do not pursue bookings with those who require advance deposits. Just not comfortable sending money to internet strangers and hoping it turns out well. I did it on two occasions many years ago, and learned my lesson the hard way.when they no-showed. At least it was only $20 in your case. I'd consider it a cheap life lesson and move on. Happy cuddling!

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    Hey there, this is a matter for reporting to the mods, not posting publicly, just so you know. But I'm sorry the number has been disconnected, that would certainly make me uncomfortable, for sure.

    Just so you know though, people deactivate temporarily all the time; it doesn't mean they are gone, just that they're taking a self-imposed break from the site. That could be for a day, or a few months.

    This could be a scam, or perhaps just a mistake with the phone number. The mods will look into it if you report it; the screenshots and naming of the Pro aren't allowed though, but I understand you're upset. Hugs and I hope this gets resolved!

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • UREverythingUREverything

    I like my money. So never sent 1 penny to a random for a random on some random thinking we are going to some random.
    Basically never Ran to some Dom(dumb) stuff

  • TxTomTxTom

    First, I don't think you're supposed to be posting identifiable content/messages of other Users.

    Second, in Greek mythology, sirens would lure sailors to them.with their beautiful voices. The sailors would jump into the water to be with the sirens, who would then eat them.

  • Moondance55Moondance55

    Sorry that happened to you but it goes both ways... as a pro I got scammed ... the guy textedc, chatted and conversed on the phone for months then scheduled a 3 hour cuddle at the hotel I used to use beforecI got my own cuddle studio... He was quite a dustance away but even called while hecwas 'on the way". I hadn't asked for a deposit for the proposed 4 hr session and I checked in at the hotel on my credit card though he'd agreed to reimburse me for that....but he never showed up...Deleted his account and blocked me from the phone number. Never heard a word from him tovthis day...lesson learned!

  • Allen1974Allen1974

    First course if action was to report this two days ago, nothing has happened and haven't heard anything back. That is the only reason I posted this. Contact info wont do you any good because the number has been disconnected. I really dont care about the $20 I would give it to anyone that I thought really needed it.

  • TxTomTxTom

    @Allen1974 I've never used any cash apps. Is there not a way to dispute the charge/xfer and have that money credited back to you? I figured they'd have some kind of limited fraud coverage like my credit card does.

  • Allen1974Allen1974

    I usually dont either, I normally wouldn't book with someone wanting a deposit. I'm usually pretty good at spotting a fraud.. The pro had been on here since oct of last year and has at least on karma.
    I would have karma but every time pro that has left karma for me gets banned they remove my karma. I'm not sure why they do that I'm not the one breaking the rules. This has happened at least 5 times.

  • Nina_LuNina_Lu

    I can understand the apprehension a potential client feels at being asked for a deposit. However I think one can also appreciate the cuddler's perspective as well; if a client cancels at the last minute, we lose out on revenue and a time slot for a serious inquiry. I personally create my schedule around appointments. I try to be respectful of my clients time, I just ask for the same in kind. I would not dream of keeping a deposit; if i could not provide service. How can I improve my process? I am open to suggestions 🙂

  • Allen1974Allen1974

    The pro stated in her profile that because of time wasters and no shows she was requiring a deposit, I think that is understandable. My original question was dud this happen to anyone else. Not really a worth while scam for $20 unless you had multiple people ho for it.

  • Nina_LuNina_Lu

    @Allen1974 for what it's worth I think what she did is deplorable; it makes it that much harder for clients to trust other Pros trying to make an honest living.

    $20 is too much to waste on nothing, and the loss of trust to the community is damaging and long lasting.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Allen1974 posted: "I'm usually pretty good at spotting a fraud.. every time pro that has left karma for me gets banned they remove my karma. This has happened at least 5 times."

    Good at spotting frauds but perhaps not sex workers? If everyone you book with gets banned, that's not a good sign you're connecting with Pro's who have platonic intentions. Just something to consider as you seek future Pro's.

    @Allen1974 posted: "My original question was dud this happen to anyone else. Not really a worth while scam for $20 unless you had multiple people ho for it."

    If the person in question had been scamming people for years, and being reported for it, they would have been banned. I'm hoping this is just a misunderstanding with the phone number. The mods will get to the bottom of it for you, though...if it has happened to others, they will have it all compiled.

    As for the $20 bucks, yes, people do run cheap scams and make a lot by doing it to tons of people in a short amount of time. Hopefully and most likely, that is not what this particular situation was. But the mods will take care of this. Dispute the charge with your cash app, meanwhile. Best of luck!!

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • RezzRezz

    @Allen1974

    I would have karma but every time pro that has left karma for me gets banned they remove my karma. I'm not sure why they do that I'm not the one breaking the rules. This has happened at least 5 times.

    That's interesting, 5 pros back to back all banned. 🤔 It's pretty hard to get banned as a pro unless you're caught soliciting other services or circumventing the booking process.

    Sounds like you need to screen your "pros" better. 👀

  • Lisa123Lisa123

    I haven't been on the other end, but I'm inclined to think it would be fairly easy to find a "pro" for the "wrong" reasons or a pro for a legitimate cuddle in most locations. I live in a fairly remote area and all my cuddlers live an hour or more away. I have less people looking at my profile because of where I am, and my vetting cuts those numbers down even more. I quickly learned that QUALITY>QUANTITY

  • Allen1974Allen1974

    Rezz. I really know how to pick them Lol.
    Not very many pros in my area hosting.
    Interesting enough all of the ones that were banned could host.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesInWI (deleted user)

    @Rezz

    Turns out, not actually that difficult.

    It simply requires being dishonest, desperate, disgusted, or some combination of all three.

  • AngelMAngelM

    I’m sorry that happened, I’ve been sent money in advance and didn’t flake or act like that. A virtual would help with making sure you are talking to the correct person on the profile, plus Karma reviews.

  • BilliD82BilliD82

    I have had this happen to me before. With cash app you can request the payment back. They don't have to pay it back and if it is a scam they won't but it might be worth a try.

  • relaxtoday221relaxtoday221

    @Allen1974
    I don’t do deposits.
    To help the pro feel better I book hotel myself and send them the confirmation.
    It is hard for both sides to trust for the first cuddle. I would advise conversing with them on FaceTime and booking close to their location for the first cuddle. I try to get within 5 miles of their general location to make them feel comfortable. Showing you respect their time is the first step to trust.

  • Ironman294Ironman294

    I have had pros ask for a deposit, in the past it was for a Uber, I have done that once or twice. These days if someone asks for a small deposit and they are new I’ll agree but only if we can do a video call. One kept emailing and wouldn’t send me their number (this was a different site) and recently they agreed to a call but no video because they are shy. That account got banned shortly I suspect they did manage to get some money before being reported.
    A video call is smart for both client and professional so you can “vet” each other that way. Good luck to all

  • Rachel_PRachel_P

    @Allen1974 I’m so sorry this happened to you. Not only does it make potential cuddlers apprehensive to book sessions at all, it undermines the trust of the community at large. I feel it makes cuddlers even more gunshy about deposits than they already are, which ultimately harms the serious pros who request deposits.

    For the record, I circumvent the issue of requesting deposits by requiring a minimum session for distances which I find to be too far to take the risk. This way I don’t have to ask for money up front, and driving 40-60 minutes round-trip actually nets me enough money to make it worth my while. Obviously, folks can still cancel last minute or ghost on me with a further distance and longer appointment, but the risk is smaller than with folks booking short, last minute sessions. If and when I accept the sketchier appointments, they are within a 5-10 minute drive from my house, and the lost opportunity cost is minimal enough that I’m willing to take that risk.

    The only time I will ask for a deposit is when I am going into my own pocket before meeting someone. Examples of this would be driving outside of my area (an hour plus in the car), or booking a hotel room or space for a session. I find that serious folks are either willing to fork over the percentage asked for, or make concession for the thing the deposit covers by either booking a room themselves or driving to me. While it’s completely fair to work off a deposit system, I do encourage cuddlers seeking a pro to do a small amount of vetting of their own.

    Side comment: @Moondance55 Ugh! Tough lesson. I hate that people have such little respect. But texting and phone conversations for months before a booking? That’s a ton of free emotional labor. Of course, if you were compensated or genuinely enjoyed it, that’s a different story. If not, and you gave some random carrot dangler three months of attention with zero compensation…hopefully that’s a lesson learned too. I’m upset for you, if that’s the case. I see this on the pro forums often: newer folks who give tons of free time and attention to people who may have no intention of actually ever booking.

    Unfortunately, this site especially is rife with folks looking for free emotional labor. I think that’s due to a combination of the comforting draw of cuddling, and the fact that most of the pros on this site are nurturers by nature. The catalyst of those two together make it an common for needy individuals to act like emotional sponges…often unintentionally, and empathetic pros who can’t see it for what it is give willingly.

  • sunnysideupsunnysideup
    edited May 2023

    I would not send a deposit to anyone on this site except for very reputable pros with 15+ karma and a well written profile.

    System hasn’t failed me yet.

    @Moondance55 Sorry about that - you’d think after months of chatting they’d have enough sense to atleast cover the hotel.

  • Carrie_AnneCarrie_Anne

    Well we all want to be fair and give Allen the benefit of the doubt, but if all the Pros he books are getting banned, what type of sessions is he having? I’m just curious.

  • MrMarkAndrewMrMarkAndrew

    Never send a deposit in advance.

  • mnemonicmnemonic
    edited May 2023

    Why doesn’t the site require a deposit (say $500) from new pro applicants? This deposit can be returned after a month or two or after a few bookings are made from the site. This way legit pros aren’t viewed with suspicion by clients and scammers will be discouraged as even their break-even killing will need to be pretty enormous. And CC can use the deposit to reimburse the handful of victims like the OP here. I’ve reported shady new pros and I’ve seen them get banned promptly, but it’s starting to feel like a tedious whacamole game at this point. @mark?

  • TxTomTxTom

    @mnemonic I can see the Pros making the same case for a $500 deposit from clients.

  • AllAboutSoulAllAboutSoul

    @mnemonic CC probably won't do it because of responsibility and potential litigation. It costs quite a bit of money for attorneys, accountants and tax professionals to get thru the mandatory legalities for numerous countries, states and provinces. They would need to create and maintain, it's not a cheap or easy venture by any means.

  • pmvinespmvines

    Awesome another thread about money and fees and deposits and rates. Go team !

  • TxTomTxTom

    "Awesome another thread about money and fees and deposits and rates..."

    I suspect that as long as new people are arriving at this site and signing up for the first time, many of these threads/topics will be revisited many, many times.

  • johnaijohnai

    Yea this sucks. I learned the hard way as well. They wanted 300 deposit 150 for travel and the rest of the session. Got blocked and stuff... never again. Even if it takes longer to find someone I rather wait til they show up first

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