Scammers. Beware!!!

LetsCuddle505

I just wanted to warn the CC community of potential scammers based on my recent interaction with one.
Never pay anyone (probably except the pro cuddlers) for anything, before you meet them in person.
I was just texting with one and we were supposed to meet today. “She” told me that her car is out of gas 😄. I immediately understood and told “her”, no worries, just fill your tank and I will pay you the amount you spend in double when I meet you in person. I told “her” otherwise I am way too smart for you 😂. Shame on such people who are trying to scam others and are taking advantage of their loneliness. (Luckily the account is banned)

LetsCuddle505

Also I recommend not sharing your personal phone number with people you have not met. I have created a Google voice phone number (which is expendable and free) and that’s what I share with people whom I don’t know yet.
If you provide them with your real number, you will keep getting other scam calls/texts continuously.

cuddlefaery

Just FYI for folks reading this thread, while this can be a common scam there are also legitimate professional cuddlers who do charge for travel expenses or deposits in advance (usually as a deterrent against no-shows and cancellations after we have already travelled). While it is absolutely a client's prerogative to decide not to book with a pro on the basis of having to pay anything in advance, a pro having an advance fee is not necessarily an indication that they are a scammer - however it is definitely usually arranged well in advance and not a last minute demand the day of.

There are multiple existing threads discussing this practice already, including in the stickied topics at the top of the professional cuddling forum.

Jillybear87

I've had clients send me gas money in advance when I'm actually hurting and can't make that drive unless they do. Sure they were weary about it, but I wasn't trying to scam. I just actually couldn't make the drive unless I had the gas fee upfront. When I'm traveling over and hour I request gas fee upfront. Because I can't waste my time for nothing. Sure it could be a scam, but they could be scamming and wasting my time as well... we have to just trust they going to follow through on our end as well. It's not just one sided. I've had someone not have enough before even though they knew my price upfront before we agreed. Both sides have to take the chance, guess it's risky on both ends.. but how do we fix that? 🤔

cuddlefaery

@Jillybear87 aside from thorough vetting on both ends prior to booking, at some point people just have to take a leap of faith 🤷 Everyone has their own risk comfort levels - for some that risk is $0, others it might be $100 if they've done proper vetting, etc. There isn't a "wrong" or right answer, only what is right for the individual.

I just hate to see gross (as in large) overgeneralizing made about a very common business practice in general based off of individual instances of bad experiences. Scammers are going to scam no matter what business facade they use, so to paint all professionals who legitimately take prior deposits as scammers hurts not just professional cuddlers but also the likes of independent massage therapists, nail artists/technicians, painters, musicians, event planners, etc...

WriterGF

I don't know that there is a way to fix it. And keep in mind, a lot worse things can happen when you are meeting people through the Internet than getting potentially swindled out of gas money or a deposit or whatever. (Look at what happened to that woman last week who went to buy something from a Facebook marketplace seller.) Meeting people this way, or through dating sites, or any other way on the web carries substantial risk. Just a fact of life.

Jillybear87

It's a rough time we live in. Everything is a risk. 🤷‍♀️😔

CuddleWho

Never pay anyone (probably except the pro cuddlers) for anything, before you meet them in person.

This is generally good advice, without an exception for pros. I will very occasionally break this rule if someone wants a deposit, but I do so with full knowledge that my money may disappear.

I recommend not sharing your personal phone number with people you have not met.

This is probably reasonable too, but in practice I haven't found it to be a problem.

I just hate to see gross (as in large) overgeneralizing made about a very common business practice in general based off of individual instances of bad experiences. Scammers are going to scam no matter what business facade they use, so to paint all professionals who legitimately take prior deposits as scammers

Nobody painted all deposit-seeking pros as scammers. Don't distort others' words. Plenty of pros are not scammers, and it's understandable why they may prefer to collect a deposit. Nevertheless, this is a platform where anyone can become a "pro" with essentially no vetting. Scammers are rampant. If you want all your clients to be comfortable paying a deposit, this may not be the right platform.

cuddlefaery

@CuddleWho when I wrote my comment, the OP said "never pay anyone for anything before you meet them in person" - the caveat about pros was added in an edit since then. So yes, the OP did make an overgeneralization.

Beyond that, I was not addressing the OP specifically - did not tag them or quote them, but this topic in general as well as every time it comes up there is a jump in the comments for people to say they never will pay a deposit, that it's always a scam. All it takes is a search of the forums for "deposit" or "scam" to find the old discussions to see how those went. My comment was simply a counter balance for as frequently as people post new threads of well-worn topics, so too is it likely that new people will see these posts and jump to conclusions because of the overgeneralizations and frequency.

Yes, scams are common online - not just on CC. But that is why it's important to learn basic vetting skills, the same way you learn not to click pop-ups or to open links in emails from people you don't know. Vetting goes both ways and people forget that this website is essentially Craigslist and Reddit for cuddling combined.

CuddlingCricket

I charge a deposit upfront and those who want to cuddle with me have no problem paying the reasonable deposit. My time is valuable just like theirs. Everyone needs their own vetting process to make sure you’re not getting scammed or taken advantage of.

CuddleWho

@cuddlefaery

when I wrote my comment, the OP said "never pay anyone for anything before you meet them in person" ... So yes, the OP did make an overgeneralization.

That quote does not in any way imply that all deposit-seeking pros are scammers. OP was clearly never suggesting that all pros are scammers, simply that some are scammers, and therefore you shouldn't pay before you meet.

If you were advised to make sure to lock your car door, would you say "Hey, that's an overgeneralization! Not everyone who walks by my car is a thief!" I suspect that even you would be able to understand that the only implication is that it's possible that someone who approaches your car is a thief. Nobody is saying they're all thieves.

But that is why it's important to learn basic vetting skills, the same way you learn not to click pop-ups or to open links in emails from people you don't know

I agree completely, and the absolute most basic online safety skill is to not send money to strangers on the Internet.

Mr_Cuddle_Bear

Completely agree with not paying someone you don't know yet (unless negotiated in advance and is clearly their policy and have good karma to back up their reputation).

Having said that, I've advanced several hundred dollars to someone I know here and that went to cuddle credit which was redeemed weeks later. Same person has also given me credit and I've paid them several days after our cuddle session...

In summary, know who you're transacting with.

LetsCuddle505

@cuddlefaery ,

"when I wrote my comment, the OP said "never pay anyone for anything before you meet them in person" - the caveat about pros was added in an edit since then. So yes, the OP did make an overgeneralization."

I am sorry if you haven't noticed the exception at first but it was there either from the beginning or just within 10-15 minutes of the post, the edit was mostly about some spelling mistakes due to autocorrect and nobody had commented at least within an hour of my edit. I visited the page just now (two days after my original post), so no I haven't corrected it later.

So far I had two cuddling sessions with two individuals. The first one was a pro and the second one was not a pro. I usually tell them that I will travel to their location, and I mention in my original request to every cuddler, that I am willing to book a room in a hotel in their area if they are not able to host. This individual told me that "she" wants to come to my place instead, even though I am very cautious with my privacy and prefer to meet outside my home, I still agreed with "her" so she had no reason to doubt my genuineness. I know that each situation could be different and an individual can judge the situation based on the red flags in the conversations but I always give them the option of a video call before meeting me in case they want to verify, and I believe there are always other options apart from advanced payment in order to verify if the other person is genuine. Paying strangers freely without knowing or verifying their genuineness will hurt all of us eventually because this behavior will attract more scammers for easy prey.

Finally, I believe CC can implement a better approach to financial transactions. CC can hold the payment amount in their account as a mediator and can deliver the payment to the other party only if both parties agreed that it a genuine meeting and not a scam. But until then, we need to control it ourselves.

stormydaycuddle

Whoa. Super combative forums again. I've been gone too long apparently. Lol, the snappy sass, over nada. Hugs and love everyone. I'm sure something will tick me off soon enough. Currently taking deep breaths. LOL.

LetsCuddle505

The reason I made this post is because of seeing many accounts getting banned within a few days of having exchanged some messages with me, without a clear explanation of why they are banned. I believe there are people who do get scammed and then they report those accounts, but generally, people do not want to post about their scamming experience fearing that it may make them look stupid.
I have not been successfully scammed personally and the account in question was also banned without me reporting it.

There is no disagreement between us, the genuine users. All of us want to make it a hostile breeding ground for scammers because it can ruin the experience for many. Some of us could be scammed easier than others and also based on our mood, we could be more vulnerable at times.

Moreover, I genuinely believe that it is very rare that real cuddlers will not show up to a scheduled appointment. Now, how we determine the genuineness of the person on the other side of the screen may require individual approaches based on the situation.

WriterGF

@LetsCuddle505 I doubt very much that CC wants to take on that responsibility. This site is positioned more like AT&T - they provide a communication channel between cuddlers (enthusiasts or pros), but are not responsible for the actual transactions. They can set policies regarding refunds, etc., but their only real recourse if those policies are not followed is bans. I don't think they want to, or have the resources to, set themselves up as the First Bank of Cuddling. (Think about it - how many people would want to give out their credit card information here, with no idea what kind of security there is to protect it on this site?)

The obvious solution is simply don't pay deposits if you don't want to. Find cuddlers who aren't asking for that. It's no reflection on the legitimacy or motives of pros who might ask for money up front (because I see their side of it too), but as a customer you have the right to decide what you are and aren't okay with. Resolve not to do it and it's end of problem for you.

LetsCuddle505

@WriterGF
That makes sense. Even though I am not an expert in banking but I believe there are some payment methods where a party can dispute a transaction (I have seen it with PayPal and merchants).
Other than that I believe it’s a part of life that we hear everyone’s experiences and suggestions on various matters and at the end of the day, we may either like and adopt the recommendations or disregard them. In both cases people are living with the consequences of their own choices. For some, it may be more important to avoid being fooled, while others may not care about it as long as it maximize their chances in other areas. At the end of the day it’s an individual choice. For example people with type A will have different approach to the same problem compared to type B personality.

stormydaycuddle

@LetsCuddle505 Hey, hey. Hugs. I'm not sure what the guy was on but paypal is a bad one because I had a guy send me a bill with the comment that he'd pay me back. A previous client. Idk, it was one of the weirder ones.

MsLexington

On topic sort of, @stormydaycuddle do you prefer cash app? I don't have PayPal for CC but people always want to push me to it.

stormydaycuddle

@MsLexington I take venmo and cash. I tried Zelle once but it requires personal identifiers which meant this client got my number when they couldn't get a refund from zelle after jumping on my chest (I reported him first) he made a fake account put my number up and told people to call me. The mods were on him super fast when he made his next 3 accounts. But each payment method has its own problems. When I travel cash is hard. It depends. Sigh. Paypal is an absolute no for me. I've seen cuddlers get banned from the site (Paypal's site) because paypal often doesn't investigate and thinks this is sex work. Feel free to message me if you want to talk. We may get moved to the pro forums if we talk too much on here.