@iCuddle23 Hmm, going with sexism on this. People who go this route tend to try and garner sympathy based on gender inequality when they've already broken a rule. "OH NO! HOW DARE SHE SAY MY DUDE!" I am now the victim. Spin it toward me. She didn't say it was because you're a man. I call everyone dude on occasion. I haven't looked to see if you are or aren't.
@Bear I'm not trying to get people on my side. If I did, I wouldn't have post a poll with TWO choices. I'm simply explaining my point of view of a bad interaction I had. And It's not in my head, i've already said i've went no-contact after ONE message.
@Mike403 Yeah you have a good point, that's why I agreed earlier and said it's borderline. But to call me a full on stalker like @stormydaycuddle I find absurd, but everyone is due their own opinion.
@iCuddle23 - If you had a genuine question, you would post on your main account. Using a burner account just seems trollish to me.
@Charlie_Bear Once again, someone acting like they know what a stalker is. What I did is not even close to what a real stalker is, I simply just made an alt account and asked one question. If you want to question morality, I believed BOTH of us were in the wrong. But to go and say I was only one, is ridiculous and white-knighty.
@iCuddle23 you find absurd. Interesting. Fighting tooth and nail to project yourself as the victim of a interaction that went too far. Too far meaning it should have been done and over. Not sexually. I have many a client I consider a friend. But I have many I've cuddled and interaction over. I dislike that it happens this way. I'd love to be friends with more people but sometimes it does.
@iCuddle23 where did the session occur? I mean did she host? Or was it at a hotel she uses regularly?
And somehow i'm the bad guy for exposing the truth lol.
This is your side of the story. It's not the truth. We don't know why the cuddler did what they did. Perhaps it is rude. Perhaps the cuddler felt safer being non-confrontational (Because I'd choose safety over worrying about if I'm being perceived as "rude" or not.) Perhaps it's something else. It doesn't matter: if a person wants to stop talking to you, they don't need to give a reason.
Is that just their entitlement or them just being rude? Maybe both? I think you're pointing the finger at me a bit too hard because i'm a male.
You had a poll set up, so you were clearly wanting a response of who was right or wrong. You also broke the ToS on this site. You also keep ignoring the observation that perhaps the cuddler did not feel compatible with you. You're conflating polite niceties vs. intent to do something again.
If I'm being too hard, it's because my tolerance for problematic behavior is zero. Especially in a space where there are bad actors too often in this space.
I would advise you to take the time to self-reflect. You are getting strong responses for a reason. Instead of clutching your pearls and reacting, pause and process WHY you got this reaction. Don't deflect to the cuddler or others. Think about what you can control. Learn from this. People make mistakes, including you and me. Because honestly if this behavior continues, it's signalling to any potential cuddlers to be wary of you.
@iCuddle23 I see stalker behavior on a daily basis. Thank you for the lecture though. Since you are not a stalker, please message me with your real account and I will look into her transgressions against you, seeing as I am a white knight and all. It would make my job as moderator a little easier ☺️
@iCuddle23 FALSE. Then you went in as an imposter and contacted her again.
Give it up dude, you will get no sympathy from this community. You are 100% in the wrong and the worst part is you are not even original. We see posts like this all the time. And they NEVER end well. I get embarrassed to be part of the male race sometimes when I see whiny rant topics such as yours. Now knock it off. It is guys like you that make finding cuddle buddies more difficult for the rest of us.
@iCuddle23 the pro is likely a “nice person” who just tries to avoid saying no because of cultural conditioning. I’m not saying this is a good thing at all, but the pro has done the best she knows how by simply being polite but otherwise avoiding you.
I understand you are being a bit bullied here - but you brought this upon yourself by choosing to cloak yourself under the anonymity of a burner profile. Perhaps if you had posted with your real profile (and that would give said pro the opportunity to comment too) people (myself included) would have afforded you a bit more more empathy in their responses.
The fact you're adamant about not being a stalker when you clearly are abusing boundaries and creating false profiles to communicate to the individual who clearly didn't want to talk with you or engage anymore is unhealthy.
If you do not find that completely wrong -- then I'm here and so is a whole community of others, to tell you, it is. Go get therapy if you can't figure out what healthy boundaries for yourself and others are in society. It's not this poor woman's job to do it for you just because you feel entitled.
Just. Move. On.
@iCuddle23 and then you provoke a Mod who was telling you the sites policy. Its his job to defend people in these situations. Like yikes. And calling it white knighting points at severe issues with social interactions to begin with. There's a type of person who when a woman is defended say anyone on her side is white knighting.
All of the comments are really right on! If I have a really pushy client who wants to control the session (though respectful of platonic rules) it becomes extremely stressful to me and triggers fear because of events when really young. It’s how I personally react and another might not be bothered at all. And before OP says he wasn’t assertive or controlling at all, it’s how she may have reacted anyway. I’m ultra sensitive to signals, body language, eyes, etc. Then it takes days to get past it. Obviously I’m just giving @iCuddle23 an example. It doesn’t have to make sense to you, you need to accept and not bother someone who doesn’t want contact, regardless of reason.
@MrAdmirer I truly believe you've proven you're a good person with good motives. Hugs.
@CuddleDuncan I hosted. @Charlie_Bear You literally called me a stalker when i've explained 2-3 times I only messaged them once. I already know you'd take their side in a heart beat, even if you saw the messages. They never said anything rude, they just simply lied about wanting to do another session.
@iCuddle23 you did suggest she was rude by literally saying the word, "rude" in a previous comment. One incident of being a stalker is one too many.
@MrAdmirer Unfortunately the men who need to read the comments aren’t usually on the forums. In fact so many on this site don’t even know there is a forum. The regular posters here have (mostly) revealed their sincerity and desire for honest healing cuddling per the site rules.
@iCuddle23 I called you a stalker because you went against the rules of the site and knowingly contacted someone while hiding your identity. That’s a stalker. End of story.
If I took a shot of light beer for every time somebody seemed enthused about wanting to see me only to ghost me after, I'd be drunker than a dog.
It's just the way some people are.
@Mike403 hugs! See you on Saturday at the meet!!! Lots of hugs.
@stormydaycuddle thanks, there are many good people here.
and to @carrieranne 's point, the bad actors usually are not on the forums -- unless of course they want to act like man babies and complain about something until account suicide....lol
@iCuddle23 Again, message me your main account and I will look into it. I am not as biased as you may think.
@stormydaycuddle I literally asked you if them lying was being rude, I never called them rude. But nice try!
@iCuddle23 which is why I said implication.
@everyone Ttyl, guys! Have a good one.
@stormydaycuddle I see that you are rude however! Great self-reflection.
@iCuddle23 I'm fine with that. Strong females are often viewed as rude by some.
@Charlie_Bear - I think this thread needs to be locked. It devolved into personal attacks.
@Charlie_Bear What action will be held against them if the behavior i've described to be true? Many people here say i'm in 100% the wrong, you also called me a stalker for everything i've described here. In just, if I showed you everything, my real account would be properly banned right? If you are an un-bias moderator, you would tell me that much?
@stormydaycuddle I'm not gonna argue with you. You are rude, whether you're mentally strong or not. You can call me whatever you like, I know my worth