I think most people hear censorship and think it is an awful concept when in fact every individual censors every day for justifiable reasons. We censor ourselves in a job interview, at work, and even with the people we love the most. The saying biting your tongue is a euphemism for censorship. Quite often, after the passage of time, we look back and think I am glad I didn’t say what I wanted to at the time because I would have regretted it. Censoring is very often a good thing.
Identity theft is theft of information censored from entities one wishes not to have possession of said information. Privacy acts are censorship. Civil rights laws are censorship of bigots. The list goes on of benevolent censorship. So just because one screams censoring does not make it inherently bad.
@CharlesinWI Noble sentiment, but who decides what constitutes bigotry? Who draws the lines? Who gets to be Cocteau? If I want to discuss the virtues of reading Hustler, smoking a cigar, and smearing lime jello all over my body, who gets to decide the tolerance or intolerance of those things? (bonus points to anyone who gets these references).
Recently there was a thread where someone said that tipping was inherently racist. I disagreed. Who gets to decide whether that's ok to say, or, heaven forbid, even think about? Sure, some tbings are obvious - hypothetically, if you used an ethnic slur for Jews towards me (no, I don't think that you would), and a mod censored that, that's one thing. But, again HYPOTHETICALLY, if you expressed an opinion on whether Israel should "give land back" to the Palestinians and that discussion offended me ... well, I would much prefer to err on the side of caution and permit such freedom of thought rather than have mods stamp it out because I personally decided it was intolerance or bigotry.
@Jubal (the language violations worked better than the three seashells.)
@AllAboutSoul yeah, I dont think that I ever WANT to know how to use the three seashells
A note about mod notes. I know many people are not going to agree with decisions I make and that’s ok. To provide some insight to how I approach it; I primarily respond to flags. I am not reading every post and using my own personal bias to make the forum content align with my views…absolutely not (and I don’t think anyone is accusing me of that, just throwing that out there.) When I hop on the forums and see someone flagged something, I have little context and just make a quick decision based on the flagged comment I read. I try to keep the comments intact as much as I can, but I usually address the flag instead of skipping it because I don’t want anyone to feel like their concerns are ignored. I don’t only modify comments that don’t align with my personal views. It may only seem that way because those with opinions that are in the minority simply don’t seem to flag comments as much. I want everyone to have a good time here are discuss topics and debate. We just need to keep the trolls away as they just love to start s*** and watch the forums descend into chaos with their posts they make in bad faith. Those I usually just hide because their shenanigans should not be tolerated.
@carrieanne Thank you!!
I'm not sure you can have censorship at all on a site like this. CC's management are not the government, and the site explictly focusses on one tiny aspect of the human experience not the whole thing. There's nothing wrong with drawing a boundary around that specific aspect. If you want to discuss subject X, which isn't allowed here, in principle there are a million other places you can do it.
Conversation about the Israeli/Palestinian question would probably be locked on this forum, because politics is more or less banned. This isn't a matter of supressing one view or another, simply a practical matter because politics threads always descend into chaos.
There is an essential difference between holding different views on the one hand, and bigotry or prejudice on the other. The difference is in having respect for the other person and their view, and curiosity as to how they came to it. You can discuss nearly anything in a civilised manner if both parties genuinely want to.
@Jubal As with any privately owned forum, those decisions get made by the owner, the mods and TOS. It's their ballpark and their rules ... we are just allowed to play here, provided we follow them.
@CuddleDuncan Yes, I understand that particular conversation would be blocked because it's political. That was merely an example from my own family history. But you hit the nail on the head with this >>>
I cringe at the prospect of a world where merely holding differing views in and of itself is deemed to be intolerance, bigotry, etc., as that leads to a "Fahrenheit 451" type outcome. But then I grew up on the ideals of people like Frank Zappa and professor David Goldberger.
Censoring is an interesting topic. I feel like the mods eyes probably cross as they are trying to figure things out while flags are flying. And unfair censorship might happen in the quest to root out the true issue… however I don’t feel any one person or subject is being censored heavily or at all without it being something that goes so far off the wall…I’m going to go ahead and agree with the censorship is sometimes needed crowd.
Usually the ones whining about censorship are the ones saying the most outrageous things in the first place. And whether they admit it or even realize it or not, support censoring things they don't agree with.
I've have a few of my comments flagged and removed. I didn't believe I was censored. I accepted the fact that perhaps I crossed a line. I even self-edited a post yesterday with this in mind. The one time I disagreed with a post that was removed I took it up with the mod offline.
Censorship and moderation are not the same things.
This is not a public arena - it is a private forum owned by a private company that can dictate its own terms so long as it complies with the laws within the country it operates. The site owners set the rules within the Terms of Service and Code of Conduct (both of which everyone has agreed to by using the site), and they can change them at any point. Any "censoring" done by moderators in the name of enforcing TOS and COC are fully within the rights of the company and everyone using the site has given consent to abide by their rulings. Sure, we can disagree with them, argue with them, try to appeal decisions - but ultimately if we decide we disagree and do not wish to give consent any more it is up to us to stop using the site.
Censorship involves the suppression of the freedom of speech - it's in the public arena, so it involves the government, the press, and other large institutional agencies. It is an issue of power imbalance and civil rights.
I am all in favor of keeping these forums heavily curated by the mods and admins. I’m not looking for cuddle comfort to be a soapbox or “free speech” forum, if that speech is insensitive, offensive, rude, or tone deaf - as perceived by the receiver, and not necessarily as intended by the sender.
There are plenty of other spaces for people to engage in that kind of speech. I appreciate that this is not one of them.
@Charlie_Bear a couple of interesting points that you made is that you make a quick decision. That in itself is a little concerning because it indicates that not too much thought is put into it. I think we can agree that there are some people on here that are just serial flaggers. There might be some people on here that just love to report and flag almost anything that doesn’t agree with their viewpoints and I know you said that you try not to ignore these, but you know maybe sometimes they should be ignored. I got flagged for a comment back on a thread about where do you cuddle and I had jokingly put in the shower and I was immediately pounced on for that now obviously, I know this is a Platonic site anybody that reads my karma would know, but instead, I was personally attacked Which I didn’t appreciate Not by you by the way.
@lonelytauros Unfortunately, with the number of trolls, incels, and other bad actors this site attracts, people get hypersensitive. It's like being on a security line at the airport ... you can't joke around about bombs or hijacking. Comes down to reading the room, and knowing what is likely to trigger your audience.
@WriterGF Best advice ever: Read the room, and be nice!
@lonelytauros
I think we can agree that there are some people on here that are just serial flaggers.
No we can't. Nobody has the faintest idea who flags what except the mods who see the flags. However I am proud to be a serial flagger, I flag several posts a day. Most are threads on the wrong board or untagged professionals. (I almost never flag a post in the middle of an active discussion.)
That in itself is a little concerning because it indicates that not too much thought is put into it.
In an ideal world that comment would be true. But the reality is that finding good mods is very hard, and we want good mods. As a consequence they are heavily overworked. There simply isn't time to give every moderating decision a period of thoughtful reflection.
Having been a forum admin in a previous life, you very quickly learn who are the good quality flaggers and which ones make your eyes roll.
And yes, jokes around platonic/not platonic are basically not funny here.
@CuddleDuncan I would just like to express my appreciation for your “serial flagging” with all those pro requests in the general board. (There are a handful of others, thank you as well!) You make our life a heck of a lot easier notifying us.
It never ceases to amaze me how much criticism is from people who have never been a mod (and never want to be a mod.) "Monday morning quarterbacking" comes to mind. Being a mod ANYWHERE is a thankless, stressful job. Having been a mod years ago on a very active and lively board on a huge web community, I know it takes a lot of work, time, patience and thick skin. Burnout happens quickly, especially with trolls and bots.
Things go on behind the scenes that we, the community, know nothing about. We have blinders on just for what we want to see, the mods have a lot more happening in their universe.
@lonelytauros you thought your shower remark was just being silly, but it fell flat. Many of us HAVE been asked by potential clients if the shower is "acceptable," and they weren't joking. If CC didn't take it down, it could be inferred as an acceptable cuddle spot. You weren't banned or even timed out, from what I can see, so not sure why you're so upset?
@lonelytauros Yeah a lot of my responses are quick decisions. I don’t want to take action on every little thing, though when it comes to comments where I have to intervene, I am usually not up to speed on the entire discussion and I just happened to pop on during some downtime at my day job, so I just need to think quick and handle it or else the reports will pile up. I do understand though and it sucks getting part of your comment edited for something dumb that was obviously a joke. A lot of the time I just don’t know and dedicating a lot of time researching each comment is just not possible. Now if everyone would like to wait to make their offensive comments at night when I am home and on my computer instead of my phone while at work, that would be amazing 😅
Also, at the end of the day this is a cuddling site. Most of the topics in these forums are not even RELATED to cuddling. (Yes, I get it is a general forum) I don't know if a lot of us are just bored or have too much time on our hands (I'm guilty of both) but let's be adults here and give the mods a break. We should be able to police ourselves but obviously some of the topics wind up getting way too heavy and heated and the mods need to stop it...period. And not all of these bad topics come from trolls but from active members of this community stirring the pot, including this topic IMO.
We are lucky they don't just shut down the forums. I may put myself in a self imposed forum time out because I do get disappointed by some of things I read in here and it takes away from the overall goal of what this site and community is supposed to be about.