Are you REALLY a 5 ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️??

WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
edited July 2023 in General

I’ve looked at ALOT of profiles here and it seems like everyone gives everyone 5 ⭐️s , both pros and enthusiasts.

And with the exception of somebody flaking out or being a total train wreck earning that rare 1 star, I never see 2, 3 or 4 …I

I mean, I know that myyyyy 5 stars are well earned (LOL) but just asking, is everyone really THAT wonderful or are people just being polite by giving the 5 or just nothing at all if it’s bad. Honest question.

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Comments

  • jplemmonjplemmon
    edited July 2023

    The review situation here is a bit unusual in the sense that everyone, clients and pros, are subject to the same system. Therefore, it's often not worth the risk to receive a bad rating for yourself just to rate someone else poorly. If Bob Smith gives a restaurant review there are no consequences for him (and he has a lot more anonymity) and thus is more likely to give an honest review. For me, if someone is a 2-3 I wouldn't see them again but I probably wouldn't necessarily want to affect their business from others. Only a 1 would be worthwhile (or a 5 if they are truly great).

  • RadiantHugsRadiantHugs

    My karma is well earned IMO, though I don’t ever have karma as a focus when I receive a session.

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc

    @jplemmon thanks for the reply and the good points. I’m going to change my post now to reflect that this goes for enthusiasts too.

  • pmvinespmvines
    edited July 2023

    I can honestly say that there has been the rare occasion where we simply don't click in person. I say rare occasion because usually by the time we do meet we've been chatting and feeling each out for a while so usually by then you know if you connect or not . In fact not too long ago a fairly new person on here told me after the fact that it wasn't great for her. Which was admittedly on me for not paying attention to certain things better. Plus I think she was hoping for something different out of cuddling, like a sort of healing type thing from emotional problems and was into some new agey type things and I'm more a casual cuddler who does this because its nice and is a fun way to meet like minded people. So overall not the best match and I didn't pay attention to some non verbal cues and also didn't take her perspective into account like I should have. And it was unfortunately her first time meeting someone from the site so I hate that her first experience wasn't all that it could have been
    It happens, and hopefully she has gone on to find more compatible cuddle friends who have given her a better experience than I. We didn't exchange karma but I'm sure if we had then it wouldn't have been 5 stars.

  • Mike403Mike403

    Karma should be if they are on time and respected boundaries. Not for subjective stuff that will be different for each person. Leaving a less than 5 star review just because you didn't click with the person wouldn't be fair IMO.

  • bluefish281bluefish281

    I think of it how in retail we'd always want to customer to leave us a 5 star review and anything less is bad because we failed to meet their needs. If you go to the grocery store and you get everything you expected with nothing going wrong, that's a 5 star experience. If everything goes well I'll give them the 5 stars and then talk about the experience highlighting what was special about it.

  • meltyblissmeltybliss
    edited July 2023

    I gave someone a two star. I really didn't want to affect her business, but in the end, I think she was deceptive in her profile and it was my duty to warn other's about it so they don't get fall into the same trap.
    This person was host only and lived in squalid conditions. Her photos were outdated as she looked considerably older. I felt uncomfortable that I did not have any desire to cuddle with her. Alas, she had many positive reviews, so I tried to get to know her as a person and treated it as a hangout. But she ended up saying rude things. That was the tipping point that made me give her 2 stars.

  • AllAboutSoulAllAboutSoul

    I recently left a 5-star Karma that started as a 1 star. I explained how it evolved because it really showed his true character. People make mistakes and he owned it like a champ.

    Many of us also don't leave 2 to 4 stars because of retaliation karma. It's not worth the hassle.

    IMHO, the Karma system is horribly flawed, since karma can be left if you only chat with the person at a meet n greet and never intend to cuddle. Cuddling, or an appt to cuddle, isn't required. Karma can't even be left for late cancels, they have to be a "no-show." I tend to read the karmas and not focus on the stars.

  • AllAboutSoulAllAboutSoul

    @Mike403 "on time" is very subjective. I have been told that my timeliness is rare, but as long as the cuddler shows up, they're happy.

  • [Deleted User]Kaylise (deleted user)

    @pmvines Your very considerate and unbiased. Not to mention self aware. That's a lovely thing.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @AllAboutSoul - I'm having trouble understanding how time is subjective unless people have a d8fferent ides of when 3 o'clock is.

  • Mike403Mike403

    @AllAboutSoul - I think you mean that they don't care if you're late which most don't as long as you show up and they get the entire time they paid for.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles
    edited July 2023

    As others mentioned, I think the Karma system is lacking. Most people tend to go for 1, 5, or nothing, unlike with other review sites where honesty doesn't feel quite so personal.

    I refuse to leave 5 stars unless I mean 5 stars. To me, 5 stars means it could not have gone better than it did. If that is not the case, I will suck it up and leave a 4-star review. I have done this on more than one occasion. It's extremely uncomfortable, but I have to respect myself and also think of those who look to Karma as part of their vetting process, and for those reasons, I'd rather be honest than be sugar-coated.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

    P.S. Thankfully, nearly everyone I've met has warranted a 5-star review. I tend to get to know people here before ever progressing to the in-person stage, and weed out the questionable ones.

    Lastly, I don't put much stock in Karma, unless I personally know the person who left it. I prefer to get a feel for people based on their long-term behavior here on the message boards, where they tend to be less guarded and their true personality traits come out; and on my PM interactions with them, so I can see where their interests lie by what kinds of questions they ask, what their communication is like, if they seem to truly be seeking friendship, etc. Karma is barely on my radar, honestly.

  • JohnR1972JohnR1972

    @mike403 - “on time” has a cultural element to it. At one point in my career I was spending 1 week per month in a factory in Ensenada, Mexico. My boss (here in the States) was from India. We hired a $5,000 per day consultant from Japan and all of us met at the factory in Mexico with the plant leadership team.

    In Japanese culture, a 2:00 pm meeting starts at 2:00:00. However, in many cultures South of the Rio Grande, 2:00 pm means “2:00ish” and people drift into the meeting from about 2:05 to 2:25. It’s not right, it’s not wrong, it’s just the way it is.

    My boss and the Japanese consultant were livid about “the lack of respect” shown by the plant leadership team and they both made some harsh and uninformed accusations about people being “lazy” but it was simply a culture clash.

    I loved the people in Mexico. They were smart, hard working, and genuinely nice people, but being “on time” (by American standards) was not a priority.

  • Mike403Mike403
    edited July 2023

    @SunsetSnuggles - Uber/Lyft drivers get fired if they get too many 4 star reviews. They expect all satisfied customers to leave 5 stars.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Mike403 Satisfied and ecstatic shouldn't both be a 5-star review, though. If you had the most amazing cuddle of your life (or your Uber driver gave absolutely incredible customer service), but you gave 5 stars to the mediocre cuddler who made you somewhat uncomfortable (or the Uber driver who didn't do anything wrong but didn't provide any particularly special service, either), how are you to set the excellent ones apart?

    5 stars, to me, means it couldn't have been better. 4 stars means it was good but could have been better. I've yet to need to leave anything less than 4, as likely that would result in reporting, anyway.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • Mike403Mike403
    edited July 2023

    @SunsetSnuggles - Reviews are meant to tell others how the experience was. Somebody might not click with you but might click with somebody else. Some things can't be helped. Respecting boundaries can.

    With the Uber driver, their only job is to get you from point A to point B. As long as they do that safety, that should be worthy of 5 stars.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Mike403 Definitely agree about boundaries.

    Regarding your view on drivers, if that were the case then it should just be a Pass or Fail, not a scale of 1 through 5. But this is veering somewhat off-topic.

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • Mike403Mike403

    @SunsetSnuggles - That's how it should be here. Either the person was respectful or they weren't.

  • SunsetSnugglesSunsetSnuggles

    @Mike403 Everyone would be a Pass then, because all Fails would be banned. 😁

    ~ Sunset Snuggles

  • cuddlefaerycuddlefaery

    The problem is we as a culture kinda put too much stock in perfectionism and black-and-white/all-or-nothing thinking. People think subconsciously that anything less than 5 is equally bad as 1, the same way highly competitive students will think anything less than a 4.0 is failing, or if you don't have higher than a 4.0 because of weighted grades then you're a "slacker".

    If we recognized that spectrums are part of life and that less than 5 doesn't mean morally bad, people would feel more comfortable leaving more nuanced ratings. Instead, we end up with people only leaving 1s or 5s, no in-between.

  • CuddlesbyJenCuddlesbyJen

    You have to read between the lines for sure. If anyone isn’t completely enthusiastic in a review, I’ll be skeptical. But, I also use my own judgment and intuition and that takes priority.

  • RedFox16RedFox16

    @Mike403 I totally agree. As long as a session goes as planned and everyone was respectful of boundaries, I'll give a 5 karma. Otherwise, I don't leave anything....unless there's something important to convey.

    Usually the clients I cuddle are men, so feeling the need to leave a low rating is kinda serious and means boundaries weren't respected. I haven't run across something else besides that yet that I would consider leaving bad karma for.

    Not clicking with someone or them cuddling a different way than I like, doesn't mean they're a "bad" cuddler....so there's no sense in trying to ruin their karma because of that. Everyone is different and that should be taken into account.

    Since I do the professional side of things, I try my best to figure out what someone wants and needs....with still also being clear about boundaries. I believe in the power of cuddling and know it can be super therapeutic! So I'd be sad if someone left bad karma for me because of some arbitrary reason like being too tall to fit well or my cuddles weren't cuddly enough LOL

  • timemantimeman

    The cuddlers in my area don't deserve 5 stars most just trying it cause its easy money and some just want to do virtual its like doing it for easy money. I am beginning to think the whole cuddle thing is just one big joke.

  • oberonoberon

    The karma system here should really drop the stars and be more of an endorsement or reccomended by because that is all this 5 or nothing culture does

  • WestsideMarcWestsideMarc
    edited July 2023

    I STILLLLLLLLL don’t understand what a virtual cuddle is?!

    You’re basically just paying a stranger to FaceTime with you about nothing/whatever you wanna talk about. Like renting-a-friend to look at and talk to?

    Do I have that correct??

  • TxTomTxTom

    @WestsideMarc
    Yes. Think of it like virtual food.

  • ColtonCuddlesColtonCuddles

    Two-way marketplaces always have this problem. There is a way to fix it and that is to have reviews that aren't visible until the other person leaves karma and then make it unable to be changed (or at least unable to be lowered). But, without that fix, you'll always have this problem where everything is a 5 unless there is something that is extremely egregious (or retaliation) where you get a 1.

  • bekah_cuddlesbekah_cuddles

    If it's someone I would cuddle with again, I give 5 stars and a nice review. If it's someone I might not want to cuddle with again, I won't leave any karma. If it's someone who was disrespectful and pushed boundaries, I report them.

    Not all of my sessions have to be extraordinary, life-changing experiences. I don't think there's anything wrong with a cuddle session that was just "okay," and I definitely don't believe someone should get punished for it, which is what anything below a 5-star review would do.

    As long as my cuddlers are being respectful, I want them to enjoy their time with me without any pressure. The last thing I want is for them to be on edge worrying that they're not pleasing me enough in case I give them a less-than-stellar review.

  • AllAboutSoulAllAboutSoul

    @oberon EXACTLY! Also should be dropped because you don't have to cuddle to give stars.

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