As titled
Google. It's your friend.
As are all the pinned posts and FAQ.
@Iamcarlos01 you will find some of the links in this thread very helpful.
On this site a professional cuddler is someone that provides platonic cuddles in exchange for money.
I do get the question.....it's not unlike the poster from the locked thread who ranted that cuddles should be free, as he was providing affection too.
It's easy to dismiss such confusion as wrong-headed, entitled, even disgusting, as one pro suggested in that aforementioned thread.
However, I would rather chalk it up to naivety, and some presumptive reasoning. This poster, like the last, no doubt thinks that pro cuddlers simply show up, provide comfort/affection, and take a male's money. An oftentimes lonely male. Perhaps one who is touch-deprived. Which is exactly the point.....
Cuddling, when properly curated, is therapy. The pro shows up to serve the client. There is preparation required, putting one's own mood/needs/circumstances behind, and lovingly focusing on the needs of the client. The kind of touch, position, conversation, and ambiance that will soothe and comfort the client.
Most pros also understand the necessity of pre-care.....meditation, hydration, food, emotional clarity...all contribute to the hygiene of the session. Post-care is often even more important. Having time to digest the energy, smell, and needs of the client....is so important for the health and balance of the cuddling pro.
And with regulars, pros build up not only a rapport, but a way of working, connecting, and healing....so much so that appreciative clients often look forward to their time together as significant for their emotional and physical balance.
So when the answer of what makes a cuddler a pro is simply "They charge money" for mutual affection, it can be, and often is, very confusing. I think it serves the entire community to articulate the preparation, focus, and service actual pros provide.
I don't want to sound like I'm hijacking this thread, but I was mentioned here, so..
Beaubliss, yes, your third paragraph is correct on with how I feel about it. I'm lonely and touch deprived. I know I was told "we charge you for our time," in my locked thread, and yes while that may be true, I think it can also be accurate to say you are selling mutual affection, too. Let's not beat around the bush. I'm literally also giving them free cuddles and my money - at the same time. Maybe next time if I ever did pay for a cuddling session - I should let them hug and cuddle me, without me returning the favor back. But that's the problem: you can't do that. Because you don't get the oxytocin release if you don't cling, hug and cuddle back. That's why I disagree with someone charging the other money for cuddling. Both parties have to cuddle together to get the desired effect.
I also think of hugging as a basic human need. So I think that's why I think its weird to pay someone to cuddle/hug you. I personally always felt weird sending money to a cuddler before I cuddle her. Never felt right to me.
@Miles93 - JFC. Don't book a pro if that's not what you want. Set up your filters so they don't show up. There is absolutely no reason to disrespect/insult them like you are doing.
Okay, I was given that advice already. Sorry, didn't mean to sound that way. But I think I made my point now, this is my final post. Goodnight.
@Miles93
I'm literally also giving them free cuddles
No, you are not.
It is true that with inexperienced, thoughtless and naive professionals that may be what is happening. But with a professional who knows what they are doing, it most certainly is not. If you are giving free cuddles to your professional cuddler then you are doing it wrong. (And so are they.)
One of the reasons that it's very difficult to make a full time living from professional cuddling is that nobody can cope with the demands of that many cuddles. I've spoken to professionals who are dreading their next session - not because it's a bad client, quite the contrary: but because they have done two sessions today already and they are emotionally and physically drained.
🤢🤢🤢🤢
The last thread was locked for a reason. Rehashing it in a new one isn’t okay. You were directed to the thread you’re allowed to bring this up on.
Sigh. Yet another angry "yes, please tell us more about how you've bought into incel dogma hook-line-n-sinker" type. And I'm referring to our lovely friend who cannot take hefty hints nor clear directions from mods, not the OP, since OP disappeared after starting this thread. Both of them could stand learning to read sticky posts and do searches first, either way.
Perhaps this one should be locked too, @Charlie_Bear , before they start procreating?
Can we let it burn a little bit before it gets locked down?
Poops and poops and farts and poops
@pmvines sharts are a thing
I made my post to hopefully elevate the conversation, not to allow yet another opportunity for someone to maintain their naivety is justified, nor to have the active participants here tell him how wrong he continues to be.....again, this addiction to binary thinking in this forum is exactly what limits the posting. It's not about how he is wrong, and all of you are right!
It's about understanding perspectives, and why they arise......Miles thinks he is giving needed affection/hugs/touch to the pros, and that it is a mutual service, and yes, there is a way to create such relationships with other enthusiasts. However, he is conflating cuddling affectionately with cuddling therapy. And most likely, his experience with pros has been less than stellar.....possibly hiring some who literally show up, hold him, and leave with his money. Without him feeling like he has just had a therapeutic appointment. This is certainly a legitimate feeling......but he then projects that this is what it is like for everyone, with every pro, and that this site itself is therefore disingenuous.
The real issue to discuss, and though it has been brought up often, it still deserves attention and conversation.....that is, what distinguishes the pro session from the non-pro session, the one that feels more like a-man-paying-a-beautiful-woman-money-to-touch-him. It's sometimes subtle, but often just not attended to......either by careful vetting by the client (Miles clearly needed help there), a lack of training/understanding by those wanting to be pro cuddlers, and a lack of understanding by clients.
I elevate the post with an elevated poops
Beaubliss, your assessment is accurate. My second cuddling session on here was with a "pro cuddler," who at the time when I scheduled a cuddling session with her, had joined this site roughly two months before and had only three karma under her belt. After I gave her $120, the session she gave me was not therapeutic in anyway. When I look back at it, all we did was cuddle in bed and hold each other, and hug a lot. That's it. She completely benefited from the session just as much as I did. It felt to the equivalent of a girlfriend and boyfriend hugging and cuddling each other in bed. She didn't talk to me much, either. Also, toward the end of the session, she was laying in bed with her eyes closed like she was about to fall asleep, while I touched her face and stroked her hair! She was bored!
She signed up here as a pro while actually not being a pro in anyway, shape or form. That's the problem. Anyone on here is allowed to be a pro and ask for money, while genuinely being unqualified. I wish I had my money back, but I have no one but myself to blame. I booked her on my own judgement and was so naive.
My first session on the other hand, was with a better pro. She had more than twenty-two times more experience (69 karma) than the other girl and it showed. She touched me all-over and it felt so good. She gave suggestions on what we can try, and she even gave me a massage. This felt more like a service, which is why I don't regret giving her $120 she asked for.
It wasn't until a day or two after my rant that I realized this. I did research and a lot of reading about cuddle therapy, and I realize that's what the first girl did to me. That's what pro's should be offering as a service, and what most guys here are paying for. Not basic cuddling in bed like the second girl did to me. She got the benefit of getting in bed with me and also being paid for it! Ugh. Oh, and by the way, she never left me any karma on my profile, either. So she clearly doesn't take cuddling on CuddleComfort very seriously.
I now know to do research next time so I don't make the same mistake again. If I was to ask a pro cuddler in-person before our session if she offers cuddle therapy, and she has no idea what it is, then I know that to be a red flag. I need to ask questions to them on CC next time before we agree to meet in-person.
Reported and reviewed. Leaving intact, though I hope nothing non-platonic is being referenced here. [Charlie_Bear]
We're NOT therapists. Most state have strict rules, including licensing, to use that term. Even insinuating it can be trouble. We also aren't mind readers. If you want your paid cuddler to give you a massage or scratch your head, YOU need to speak up.
And karma isn't required, nor is it bad business for her to not do it. There are MANY reasons why karma isn't done.
But paying for the session prior to the start IS something you agreed to. If you refuse to do it, you will be reported. "Payment for each session is due before the session or at the very start of one."
When I look back at it, all we did was cuddle in bed and hold each other, and hug a lot. That's it. She completely benefited from the session just as much as I did. She got the benefit of getting in bed with me and also being paid for it! Ugh. Oh, and by the way, she never left me any karma on my profile, either. So she clearly doesn't take cuddling on CuddleComfort very seriously.
😂🤣 No she absolutely didn't. She watched that clock like a kid waiting for summer break on the last day of school and I would too.
But paying for the session prior to the start IS something you agreed to. If you refuse to do it, you will be reported.
That's what I did. But I'm going to guess you're saying this because of the last sentence in my post, so I edited it to better reflect what I'm trying to say. Also, the last thing I'll ever do is refuse to or not pay a pro-cuddler after having them travel all the way to me on behalf of their own free time. I would absolutely feel terrible if I did that.
We actually went about 15 minutes over the scheduled end-time. The first pro I booked, however, who offered a therapeutic cuddling experience, was definitely watching the clock.
You paid for PLATONIC cuddling and admit that's EXACTLY what you received! Laying in bed, holding each other.
When I look back at it, all we did was cuddle in bed and hold each other, and hug a lot. That's it. She completely benefited from the session just as much as I did. It felt to the equivalent of a girlfriend and boyfriend hugging and cuddling each other in bed. She didn't talk to me much, either. Also, toward the end of the session, she was laying in bed with her eyes closed like she was about to fall asleep, while I touched her face and stroked her hair! She was bored! She touched me all-over and it felt so good. Not basic cuddling in bed like the second girl did to me.
When I look back at it, all we did was cuddle in bed and hold each other, and hug a lot. That's it. She completely benefited from the session just as much as I did. It felt to the equivalent of a girlfriend and boyfriend hugging and cuddling each other in bed. She didn't talk to me much, either. Also, toward the end of the session, she was laying in bed with her eyes closed like she was about to fall asleep, while I touched her face and stroked her hair! She was bored!
She touched me all-over and it felt so good.
Not basic cuddling in bed like the second girl did to me.
It's very interesting that you didn't want "basic cuddling" and feel Pro #2 should have been like Pro #1: touching you "all-over" and "it felt so good."
And you COMPLAINED about the cuddling session feeling like "the equivalent of a girlfriend and boyfriend hugging and cuddling each other in bed." Again, that's called platonic cuddling and KUDOS to Pro #2!
@Rezz yeah I get that feeling with pros sometimes when they cuddle with me it’s like they bring all these clocks here like sometimes even bring like those hour glasses with the sand in it but it’s like the mini ones you know and I asked the pro like hey why did you bring so many clocks and she told me in case one of them fails 🤷🏻♂️
Professional cuddling is offering platonic affection—hugging, spooning, etc—for a fee. This is the baseline for a professional cuddle session. After that the session can go below the baseline or above it in varying degrees. I have experienced below only a couple of times—they reeked of smoke and fell asleep within five minutes of arrival. Above is varied and nuanced. It all depends on the pro but remember a pro is a person so they bring their own special sauce to a session. What is amazing to one person is meh to another. Clients are also people so some of us are finicky, some demanding, or some, like myself, enter a session and with an open mind and trust the pro. My main yardstick is attitude. If someone feels like they are genuinely trying to make me have an awesome experience I am all in…especially when they are intuitive—they have a knack to know when a conversation tails off and to just be quiet and in the moment—then I am all in 💯. Other people have other criterion. Everyone is different and there are really no blanket descriptions for a pro.
@Miles93 Food is a basic human need too. So is shelter. You have to pay for both.
Although we pay for food and shelter which is a basic necessity, I think maybe we should look at the bigger picture here in that we are monetizing human interactions where do you draw the line? Should I charge you for a handshake? Should I charge you for a smile should I charge you for being nice? Should I charge you for talking to me? When do we draw the line?
@lonelytauros WOW! Equating paid cuddling with paying for a smile or a handshake is incredibly demeaning and self-serving. You're totally disregarding the danger that's undertaken during any session, as paid and unpaid cuddlers are regularly groped and molested, or worse, during "human interactions." THAT'S the difference.
@AllAboutSoul if the danger is that great, which I’m not discrediting, then no amount of money should make anyone do something that’s so dangerous. in my opinion that’s demeaning and self-serving to put one’s life in danger like that
@lonelytauros I'm interested in hearing why you think human interaction should be immune to monetizing. It's time, energy, a hotel room and even gas/vehicle wear and tear. I'm the one traveling. It's NOT free. I don't walk into a hotel and get a free room because I say I'm cuddling. I'm accommodating someone else's schedule, which might be 10 pm for a block of time they want. I may have already worked 10 hours, but I'm going to leave that at the door and give them my best self. For the record, unpaid female cuddlers run the same, if not more, risks. People put their lives in danger all the time for money: first responders, car racing, boxers, zoo keepers, construction workers, military, etc. Cuddlers honestly believe people are good and will behave, and most do. Too many don't.
@lonelytauros I don't understand your analogy. A handshake occurs between two people who have agreed to have some kind of interaction. In precisely the same way that an enthusiast cuddle occurs between two people who have agreed to have a cuddle. What has any of that got to do with professional cuddling?
You want anything at all in this world - including a smile - you gotta pay for it in some combination of time, energy and money.