Pet Peeve about $ changing hands..

Or not even making it to my hands, rather, but being slapped on a table or what have you. As a professional, I am giving a client my hands to hold...is that why they don't want to put cash in them? Lol

Am I the only one this annoys?

Any non-pros wish to chime in as to why this is so? And would you please be willing to change your thinking on this? After all, you just touched the money, too! And it's also a matter of respect.

Thank you one and all!
#eatpraycuddle

I do that before hand so I can forget about it and pretend I didn't just pay. It also removes the awkwardness of both parties discussing it. I paid my first two cuddlers directly and it just made the whole thing awkward.

Right, @Alternis, per the site rules tbe payment was upfront. Oh, do you mean via PayPal? Not every client likes to do that, though I do have a PayPal account. I will update my profile so that both methods of payment are accepted. That just might help!

I put down at beginning.....

 Does anybody feel awkward paying a Massage Therapist? The chiropractor? The person who cuts your hair? Your shrink? The person who brings you your meal at a restaurant?  If you've ever had acupuncture? Let's go little bit further… What about a tarot card reading? Or if you have ever attended an energy workshop. It's a service. It's someone's time and energy and comfort and skill. Why is that so awkward to pay and be respectful?

Seriously it's really beginning to feel like all of the "shame and awkwardness" attached to paying for this service is coming directly from the clients themselves.

Stop making it such a big deal. And shameful. And awkward. It's NOT. I very freely talk about  professional cuddling on my Facebook page. My father can read every post on my Facebook page, along with 500 other people. There is no shame. Even some of my friends and clients have started cuddling because it's NO. BIG. DEAL.  

YOU are the ones seeking out the service, YOU are the ones asking to be treated with  respect and wanting to have genuine connections being made. Well... it starts with how YOU are treating US too. 

 Thank you so much for this post @Starlight !!!  Only ONCE was I paid directly with the money handed to me instead of tossing it on the table or it laying there, and ONCE I was by PayPal in advance. It was the same person, and I plan on seeing him several times a month. We also exchange dozens of texts and hours of talking on the phone weekly, almost daily contact. Because we RESPECT EACH OTHER.  The other times the money was laying on the table and ya know what?  It made me feel cheap and not respected. I was also treated very differently by those clients. The one who pays me in my hands and doesn't beg for discounts and extras gets so much of my time given freely because... mutual respect. Just treat people with kindness instead of cheapening cuddling by making it so AWKWARD. 

 And I have made really good friends with two other gentlemen who post often here ( they can feel free to name themselves if they want, I respect them and their privacy), we talk on the phone and text all the time. Neither has paid me to cuddle. They are FRIENDS.  And I have made friends with about a dozen other people here. Genuine friendships. 

 It doesn't have to be weird unless you make it weird. Stop making it weird!  

 If a person wants to be treated with respect, it is a two-way street. Starting with having enough respect to put money in her/our hand and look us in the eyes and say thank you.  It's just basic manners and basic respect. 

As long as the option exists ( according the the client agreement), to pay at the beginning  of the session,That is my preference .   It will be cash .  
Lets see how professional you are to take that awkwardness out of the transaction . 
So far , the way the pros I've seen so far handled it , was wait till the end .

I must have an honest face , I will run for office.

Dang maybe this site isn't for me. I tend to pay repeat cuddlers a day before in advance because I can't host so I need to rent a room but I also want to make sure they don't flake. Paying in advance and booking a room for this is probably seen as disrespectful.

Paying in advance (either by PayPal or another online payment and before the session starts) is clearly spelled out in the terms of service. 

 If a person choosing to hire a professional either doesn't want to or cannot host in their own home, for whatever reason, it is their choice to either rent a hotel room, cuddle in a public place (movie theater is great) or a park, cafe, library reading room or I have even had a non-paid cuddle with someone from this site at the mall in the department store BED section and LoveSac.
 
The point is it doesn't need to be awkward or disrespectful. 

 And nobody is saying it is not a risk for men,  but let's be honest here it is a much bigger risk for a woman. To deny that is to ignore the basic facts and statistics. 

pmvines

Usually when i get a service that is from someone who is not in a shop or an office for a service such as a massage, cuddle, or what have you, if the person doesnt ask for it at the beginning, i will usually just put it on the table or somewhere visible so they know its there. They usualy appreciate that i dont wait til the end, and it means that if me or the person do not want to discuss it, then we dont have to. I dont mind either way, just so long as i am paying them and they know that its there lol.

pmvines

To clarify, I do prefer to put money in hand, but if they don't ask then I might assume there is a reason or they may feel awkward about it so that is when I put it somewhere they can see, so then it doesn't have to be discussed if that is the preference.

greenearth2

So I've had pro cuddlers say they feel awkward when you give them money directly.  So many of the pros I work with love it when I just leave the money on the table or just drop it in their bag.   I tell them of course so they aren't wondering where it is lol...but after the first couple of sessions they remember where I put it    

Why make a big deal bout giving money into someone's hand or not?  Its really up to the pro...if she wants me to do it that way then fine I don't mind at all.  
But what really sucks is when you walk in the door and they put their hand out demanding payment immediately.  That is such a turn off and makes me feel really ick.   
Its been much nicer when money isn't so up front and center like that.  Spoils the illusion that you're just there to cuddle.  
I think someone tried to compare it to massage therapists.  Well guess what...you pay the person at the front desk! I never paid the massage therapist girl directly or handed the money to her....I paid the front desk person.   So that's a bad comparison....I'm guessing they never went to a massage place before lol

greenearth2

@pmvines,  which pros have you paid this way?   you haven't had any pro cuddlers who prefer it if you leave the money on the table?? or actually have said they don't care either way?    I mean I have yet to meet a pro in person who cares one way or the other...as long as you pay them the correct amount   Also I've only seen one pro count the money in front of me and that turned out to be a pro wanting to do sexual services later. so I stopped seeing her.

Or, because it was two different professional cuddlers who brought it up... just ignore that it's even a thing. Makes sense. 

Pffft, respect. 

Morpheus

I think the original posters gripe was people that drop money on the table rather than handing it to them. I recently got my oil in my car changed and when I paid, I paid cash and although my hands were right there, he dropped my change on the table right in front of me. I found that slightly annoying, why couldn't he have handed it to me. @Starlight if that's what you meant, I get you.

As far as how I pay, I almost always host and the money is sitting on top of my coffee table and my pro is free to grab it anytime she wants. It's a system that has worked out great for me.

Love your response to this, @FireAndBlue! I'm thinking of creating a tiny money-exchange ritual so as to make it all less skeevy-feeling for me (again, meaning I feel it is skeevy to just throw money on the table). I believe my cuddling service deserves gratitude and respect on both ends!

Now, if the pro herself or himself feels they don't want to accept money in their hand, then that is fine, too.

@MrSoloDolo, that's exactly what I mean. I mean, last cuddle I had, I requested payment beforehand as per protocol, and was literally 2 feet away from the client, getting my wallet out and he put the money on the table. What the actual, you know?

@greenearth I actually prefer cash, less hassle really. I hate counting money but it's really something any business would do--and there is absolutely no thought of sexual services being offered for money. Ew! Besides, with new money it's possible the client could overpay as easy as underpay.

It would be nice if a client would ask, "Where would you like me to place the money?" Or have it in an envelope and hand it to me. But as I stated in my prior post, I'm thinking of devising a short ritual for the payment.

I always start off with a big welcoming hug. I'm a shortie, not even 5'2 so I usually have my head/ear to their heart and arms around them under their arms. I also give light back scratches with the greeting hug. I stay there in a standing hug until they release. It's a kind and welcoming way to greet someone you are going to spend several hours with. I think after that it shouldn't be all that difficult to hand someone cash and look them in the eye.

thats just me though. 

Brandi

interesting thread!!

I've never had an issue with payment where I felt weird in anyway or awkward. Maybe I just didn't look that much into detail though. Some Clients prefer to pay upfront, and some prefer to pay after it doesn't matter too much to me as long as it happens at some point of course.  Some cuddle buddies even put it in cute little envelopes! lol (that's my favorite since its kind of personal and seems like they put a bit of care into it)

Or if before the session happens they try to hand it to me I just say "oh you can set it down on the table" or whatever just is close by them because I don't want them to ever think I would run off with their money or something silly. Even though no pros should ever scam guys like that I'm sure it can still be a negative that may cross their minds. Like sometimes I'm nervous about counterfeit money, even though chances are extremely low, it can still happen.  

Thanks, @Brandi!

@FireAndBlue I like the hug greeting, too! And we talk for a few minutes (mostly them talking). That's why it struck me as odd when the money ended up on the table. I mean, ultimately they are the client, but I doubt they'd do that to a personal trainer they had visitng their home!

Morpheus

One of my favorite memories was with @kuddlebunny who is no longer on the site. I knocked on the door, she opened it and said OMG and literally jumped into my arms :-)

I'm curious how many Pros prefer being prepaid via Paypal before the session?  Would you prefer the prepay via PP to avoid cash awkwardness altogether?

greenearth2

Choco i'm not gonna use paypal unless I really trust the person.

I don't cuddle with Pros for reasons I've stated in too many threads to repeat (personal preference and I totally support Pros they're just not for me), but I can relate the money changing hands thing to when I would hire models for photography shoots to build a portfolio. When it was clothed stuff, it made no effort to exchange money. The less clothes at the shoot made exchanging money more and more awkward. Nudes were the worst. It shouldn't have, and it was totally a mental thing on my end, but what made it easier was when the model asked for the payment. When they don't mention it, yet expect it, everything got awkward and it seemed like it was taboo.  So, if you don't already, my advice would be for the Pro to say, "Let's get the payment out of the way first off."

Thanks for the perspective, though, of how it makes you, the Pro, feel when money is secreted to you in an envelope and such.  I've done that before for models and they never said anything, so I really truly hope it didn't make them feel cheap or anything.  I was just guarding my own awkwardness and didn't ever consider how it made them feel.  If I'm ever in that situation again, I'll definitely know better

@cuddledingo