Ive never experienced this but I’ve heard of others going through something like it so I think it might be normal.
The more I think about my post session depression, it really boils down to me feeling pathetic because the only way any woman would cuddle me was if I paid them. I wasn't always so down on myself but after the harsh way my ex ended our 23 year marriage by phone at the very beginning of the Covid thing, , the lack of confidence and self doubt is strong and that's why I think I really need to find a decent therapist. Almost anyone who's used therapy could tell you how difficult it can be to find someone you are comfortable talking to.
@Minestrone101
"Last time I felt better too after a bowl of soup." Yummy!
"Before that, I moped in my car some."
Awww! Sorry to hear that. Sending you a virtual retroactive hug. 🫂
"I do think I felt more of the drop when I was a guest vs when I was a host. I wonder if the people I host feel the oxytocin drop after leaving."
Wow that's interesting, I do wonder too.
I did feel this after my session. When it happened I was able to understand it and fill the void with other interests but it happened. It’s strange that, in my case a short two hour session could lead to such feelings.
Similar to "con drop" after a convention where you're riding this incredible serotonin high all weekend, just to have to go back to "real life" on Monday. Oh man, I've been booking so much, maybe this is why I've been depressed AF today. 😄 Glad you brought this up.
Also - hugs, I hope you feel better.
Edit: Apologies, I didn't read the whole thread first and Bear already mentioned con drop. 🙃
@AloneToLong sorry to hear what happened to you Alone. I hope you’re able to rebuild & gain back your confidence again soon.
Normal. Huge dopamine high to nothing
It's a real thing and can be very painful. I reccomend to continue getting cuddles that aren't for pay. Even if It's not from a human.
Previous thread on this topic, for those curious. I shared a bunch of links there on oxytocin crash, and @w8ed_blanket did a great writeup comparing it to subdrop. https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/17402/post-session-depression/p1
@Lovelight Thanks a lot for the empathy. Have a good day.
Depends on the person you cuddled and how they made you feel. I have had a couple of cuddlers that stressed me so the dopamine high hit after they left. But if I feel relaxed and the cuddler did their job, no I do not because I can sleep. I think this—relaxation—is the goal for me. But if I really liked the session and we clicked like the final move in solving the Rubik’s cube, meaning I not only relaxed but I received the cherry on top which is interesting company that I can share without judgement, then I get a rush to plan our next session. Depression never really enters into the equation. But then again, I am fortunately not prone to depression be it temporary or chronic.
Yes! Very normal and I'm glad you brought this up! I'm sorry you're feeling this way, it will pass. It's essentially a drop from the highs you were feeling, like an emotional rollercoaster.
I message my clients a day or two after to check in and see how they feel, not everyone gets this but it's good to know who needs a lil more support after.
However this is not something most Cuddle Professionals are likely to know about, it's not even taught in the certificate I went through. (It was very thorough, I just don't think many know about the drop)
This is something that's well known in (sorry but it's the best example I know of) the K*nk community. When a session is done, some people experience a drop after and its one reason aftercare is so important.
I'd love to help talk to cuddlers about aftercare but I don't know how to help tell others when I'm new, and might sound like I'm just telling people what to do. I really hope this post gets seen by a lot of people, it might help start the aftercare conversation! 🥰
My advice to you is to focus on self care the days after a session, it seems simple but it'll help just to be a little kinder to yourself in these moments. xx
@AloneToLong "really boils down to me feeling pathetic because the only way any woman would cuddle me was if I paid them"...It is really all a matter of perspective and for me personally, I like the fact that there are no commitments involved beyond the session. Like I don't have to pay or share on their mortgage, or car note, or buy groceries. Long term commitments and marriage are not cheap by any means, it is just that we view them through different lenses because the other party is there voluntarily.
@rocauser2009, I agree that it's all about personal perspective and that is why I feel the need to work on mine and am actively seeking out a therapist to help me work on mine. Thank you for your input.
A couple of quotes on happiness and sadness:
Happiness was but the occasional episode in a general drama of pain.”
Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.
Can't say that I have experienced cuddle crash before...🤔
I have never experienced that myself. I’m so relaxed after a 1-2 hour cuddle and can sleep so nice afterwards. As soon as my cuddle is over I start thinking and planning on my next one.