Creepy ways to profit from lonliness

edited October 2023 in General

I’ve never used Tinder, but I got quite the creeps when I read they have rolled out a $500/mo subscription geared to the “top 1%” of users. Yeah, like I believe that nonsense about it being “exclusive.”

Apparently you get a badge (which only screams that either you are an idiot, or that you are a rich idiot.) Neither will likely do any man any good.

You can message people you haven’t matched with (like what happens on this site every day). We all know what good that will do.

Apparently a bunch of other nonsense perks - not anything I feel like listing (because they are all bs).

If this isn’t a clear signal to get the hell off the dating apps, I don’t know what is. These aren’t set up to help one find connection, they are all about keeping you swiping and constantly messaging, and hoping you would keep paying. And once they realize they are about to lose you, they dangle another new “tier” of membership which is supposed to give you the exclusive, holy grail access to people which will undoubtedly lead to the ultimate, perfect match for you - not!

I’d rather spend the $500 on pros from here or on improving myself. Maybe on hiring a personal trainer, going to real events, building social skills, and meeting people.

No thanks, Tinder.

Yeah, I am a bit triggered. Providing a legit service is one thing, but profiting and preying on loneliness is a level of creep I just don’t do well by.

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Comments

  • edited October 2023

    Sheena, When I commented all his Post said Was Tinder roll.

  • Yea I get a similar vibe with all the streaming services suddenly becoming cable tv and charging. 😣😣

    @Dylan_Josselin alright, I’ll bite. Where did he forget a second T?

  • I know nothing about tinder, but I did meet my wife on Match. The membership was not that expensive and there were no add on costs. Of course that was 10 years ago and things may have changed since then.

  • [Deleted User]DaveJA (deleted user)

    Having had very limited success on a few different dating apps, I genuinely don't believe they're good for me anymore. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but meeting someone face to face is worth infinitely more. I've talked with some wonderful people from such apps, but only ever met two. Neither one worked out. 🤷 As for the add-ons? Just plain creepy. In some cases it's literally pay to creep on people 😳
    I think I'll go uninstall those, now

  • edited October 2023

    @Mr_Cuddle_Bear its apparently the same parent company which owns match. I’m really happy it worked for you! I do agree the landscape has likely changed a lot in ten years though. In the context of my men’s group I have seen so much damage these apps have done to the psyche of good men, I would not share a moment’s grief if they were all to go out of business tomorrow.

  • edited October 2023

    I never saw that amount, their most expensive platinum plan is $179 a year, which roughly calculates to just about $14.91 a month. I just checked lol and includes messaging a quick note when you super swipe someone that you’re interested in. But the receiving person still has to swipe right on the person that sent it, no automatic matching or unwanted messages filling up your inbox.

  • As long as there is an appetite for fake reality, there will be a buffet of real lonliness.

  • edited October 2023

    The “creepy” part of this is that there is no additional work Tinder is doing on their end (other than checking you have paid). It’s not like they are adding a human matchmaker behind the scenes or anything. All they are doing is confirming that indeed they don’t offer the lower paying tiers all that their technology can offer. In other words, they actually thrive on their customers being lonely and to keep them paying for as long as possible, all the while keeping them lured with a false promise of connection.

  • @Mr_Cuddle_Bear Tinder doesn’t make any attempts to match you up with people that have shared belief values, personalities, compatible types, etc. You basically just swipe right if you think someone is hot. And people love it(well, they don’t, but it is addicting)

  • @RadiantHugs I remember back during the internet's infancy, when there were at least a couple of dating sites that were actually geared towards dating.

    And one of the greatest of those to come along was 8 Minute Dating.

  • edited October 2023

    @RadiantHugs thanks for the article, I didn’t realize it wasn’t already being offered on the site. That’s way too high for a dating app, you’d be better off paying that to a matchmaker.

  • Ok, @RadiantHugs ... the title of this thread made me think it was another troll post about how cuddle therapy is a scam 🤣😂😜 I'm glad it wasn't, but I may or may not have been low-key excited to read some drama 🤷🏻‍♀️😏

    That said, I totally agree about the absurd "premium memberships" that are charged on some dating sites. I've never used tinder, but they do it on Bumble whenever I've dared gone on. For a site like bumble, it takes away the whole point of the site to do that. (Where the women have to act first to match) It definitely feels creepy to know that for a price, I'm not honestly in control of who I match with anymore like the site swears by. It's almost like selling access to people.

    Dating sites aren't for me anymore either....like @DaveJA said. CC isn't a dating site, but I've made many more genuine human connections here than those anyways. ☺️☺️☺️ And I'll take that over dating right now!!

  • edited October 2023

    @PeopleLikeUs yes, men’s group where men meet regularly to do the inner work and support each other in an endeavor to become better men. I’m personally involved with the mankind project (mankindproject.org), but there are other organizations too. @TxTom I don’t remember that site, I should look up it’s history! Wonder if that is how the speed dating concept evolved?

  • @Dylan_Josselin I too would like to know where oh where is this missing T.

    Dating apps are crazy not necessarily for the reasons above but particularly for the youth. It puts you in connection with people that may or may not be good for you way too easily. At least here theres forums, mods & karma people go by. Those apps you literally have nothing but your intuition and the random ban that’s an easy work around as a safeguarding measure.

    The amount of trauma happening as a result of interactions on those apps is more than enough reason to stay away. But the allure of the unknown still persists.

    I think the next era of dating apps will be live room dating which will likely eventually include VR/AR tech.

  • @RadiantHugs I haven't heard mention of a men's group since the '70s. I dabbled in the M&M (Men and Masculinity) Conference which turned into the National Organization for Men Against Sexism. Robert Bly was standing pretty much alone back then and I see now that his scene morphed into MKP.

    I like that you are evaluating online dating like this. I've always felt the same way about dating in general.

  • Sounds a lot like the "dating" app Seeking, which is essentially an app for sugar daddies and sugar babies in disguise. Guys even put their net worth and annual income on there. I saw guys claiming to be worth 10 million. (And maybe they were, who knows.) I was only on there because a client directed me there to potentially find clients, but I'm not looking to date and they are strictly against advertising services, so I left that app pretty quickly.

    I don't see the appeal in finding a partner who is interested in your income first, but I guess some of these guys like to feel like a provider, maybe it's a nurturing thing, idk. 🤷‍♀️ Gold diggers would turn me off, personally.

  • MarkMark Mod
    edited October 2023

    I think the next era of dating apps will be live room dating which will likely eventually include VR/AR tech.

    Yeah, I've always thought so after first experiencing the near in-person connection you get from a VR social app.

    I have so much optimism for a mature VR industry having a major impact on the loneliness epidemic.

  • edited October 2023

    When I commented, the original post was two words,
    Tinder roll

  • Dating apps/websites certainly have gone downhill. 10 years ago (or more) it was still difficult, but I had some success in at least meeting people on OkCupid (not POF or other free sites though - I refused to join a paid site), which was mostly free back then (there was a premium "A-List" option that I never used nor needed back then). I've used a few different apps in more recent years and definitely see they are designed to get as much money from you as possible, very hard to make a match, and more than likely if you do "match" with someone they are trying to sell you something or quickly take the conversation off the app and try a few different scams.
    I will say that 10 years ago I met ONE person on tinder, but they wanted to meet at a Walmart of all places and then it didn't lead anywhere, also I've never successfully had a serious relationship from any dating app or website ever. It's always been through other means that lead to actual relationships.
    Now after cuddling with people from here for a few years, it certainly helped ease loneliness and lack of touch, so I'm less likely to be preyed upon by dating apps. I'm comfortable being single having met wonderful people here. :)

  • I deleted all dating apps after my finger went numb from swiping left so much. 😂😂

  • I stay from that stuff now. I was always tempted to spend my money just to feel like a fool. Some people just aren't meant to date.

  • edited October 2023

    @CSnMUS87 but if the date goes wrong you’re in the right place to buy hand soap and pool accessories. Makes total sense.

  • @stormydaycuddle good point. 😂Or a stuffed animal to cuddle.

  • [Deleted User]CharlesInWI (deleted user)

    Dating applications and sites are utterly terrible for the vast majority of men.

  • I started off in the scene of 'from online to in-person meet-ups' through the MeetUp app (which at the time, 2019, had a lot going on to choose from). Then I got directed here and after a bit found I was wanting more than platonic cuddles, and to see if one of the dating platforms might work for me to find someone (I'm friends with others who have 'life partner' matched through them - so why not).

    I tried Bumble first and went out with a few people (a couple more than once even). And then to try and figure out a joke a friend made about all that and relating it to FetLife I went on Fet (neither of which I'd heard of prior and whoa was that a crazy mixup and ultimately not for me)...

    Anyway, I lastly ended up on OKcupid and met up with a few people through there too ~ The last one being my now 'life partner' who I'm in the process of merging households with!!

    So they do work. But like Cc, what you get out of it often seems to pale in comparison to what you put in ~ Until you meet 'your person' and then all that effort becomes worth it.

    But all that said ~ I can't imagine paying a large sum, for Tinder of all things, is going to be what leads to one finding a true love connection.

  • @RadiantHugs
    I'm not sure if 8 Minute Dating was the pioneer of speed dating, but I attended a number of their events and I loved it. It wonderfully facilitated no pressure, face-to-face interactions at various, safe, public venues. The only online aspect to it was signing up for the events which were limited by an age range, the number of attendees permitted by the venue, or by private invitation only. There wasn't even an online profile to create.

    The organization seemed to have diminished, I remember, a few years back. Covid lockdown policies probably wiped out any remnants of it.

  • @CharlesInWI Yes, in person is a lot better for us

  • edited October 2023

    @quixotic_life Lol! Shockingly, I have met more people through Fetlife "event page" connections (throughout the years) then on Okcupid. Lol😆

    Mainly because I treat Fetlife as a social media site (which it is, but not everyone will see it that way😏) that is geared up with more "adult content" in the spotlight of it all. 😉

    My Okcupid experience was not a memorable experience🙄, so in the end I just deleted my account there and stayed on with Fetlife in the end. 😁 I enjoy the social media aspect of Fetlife and that you can discuss practically ANY topic whether it is sexual or nonsexual related. 😊

    Sighs!🙄

    Of course, not everyone on Fetlife are able to "focus" on any topic, like myself and others who can obviously do this...😏😄

    Seriously?!😊 There are gardening discussions recipe postings, parenting discussion groups, politic discussion topics happening on Fetlife all the time.

    There are folks posting about which celebrity has passed away on Fetlife, all the time.😄

    Sadly, Fetlife is how I found about Tina Turner passing away back in May. 😔
    And I'm still mourning her. RIP Tina Turner. 💐

    But like I said, not everyone can see past the raunchy content that largely makes up Fetlife.😜

    Lol! Yes, I do enjoy going out to events (that are posted on the Fet Events page, especially nearby events😉) whenever life permits me to, even just to attend a munch night at a nearby restaurant or bar for casual vanilla meeting and mingling with other like-minded 'weirdo' individuals...Like myself!😁😜

    Also, during casual conversation with another Fetlifer is how I found out about Cuddle Comfort too!👍

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