Saying NO

Thank you for your support and wisdom, @funandadventure and @pmvines!

When I started this "discussion," I really expected their to be no replies, just hopefully pro cuddlers who would pop in, give this a good think-over, and gain more confidence in their jobs. Thank you to all who agree the CSA is not a hindrance but a protection for both sides, as is the original intention.

greenearth2

Well it was a noble effort starlight.  
Maybe it will help someone.  

Morpheus

I don't think anyone said the CSA was a hinderance

kalamityjane

Just had an experience like this. I tried to keep things light and get him to stop without making him upset. I just felt too vulnerable to upset him. He tried over and over touch my ass and breasts in slow weird way and he wouldnt stop talking about bdsm fantasies.

That is not ok!! Block and report him. What do you mean by you "felt too vulnerable to upset him"? You have to be confident and make people respect your boundaries.

If they get too close to anything that's uncomfortable, say something like, "Hey! what are you doing!?" That should stop it from escalating. If they keep going, stand up and threaten to leave and end the session if it continues. Stay safe!

I would not give guy a second chance. Out of bounds is out of bounds get up and leave. I would do the same if a girl got too handsy. I have ended dates for less than that.

I have to say I've never ended a date cause a woman got too handsy. For a dude that seems like a good problem to have but that's just me.

Morpheus

Are you guys talking about dates or cuddle sessions? Dates and cuddle sessions with pros are two different things. For some clients, going into a cuddle session and thinking of it as a date can potentially be a very bad thing. A cuddle session with a pro is a paid professional service and should be treated and respected as so.

I was talking about cuddling but just drew a comparison about anothr situation sayinf someone crosses boundary I am out. Not just a no, but no and I am gone

kalamityjane

In my experience, the most dangerous thing to do is make a man feel rejected. Especially if you already know he doesnt respect you enough to listen when you say no and youre in his bedroom alone.

Kalamity that can go for either gender. that is why I would not let anyone into my home or go into anyone else's home for a first meeting.  But as others have said be clear and personally I would not give 2nd chance for something that was obviously not an accidental touch.  

snuggle554321

 I completely understand that!  The difference is when you are a professional you are expected to speak up more. I was exactly in the same spot you were in the beginning.  I even created a thread to help new pros figure out how to adjust client behavior when it was necessary.  The more you speak up for yourself the more respect you will end up getting.  That something else I personally have figured out through my experiences.   There are some that will not respect you no matter what. Those of the ones that will not keep grabbing at you.  When that's the case you report them and possibly leave them bad karma. Then there are others that need redirection and FIRM boundaries so that they can possibly end up becoming a wonderful clients! 

snuggle554321

 The thread that I started that includes this information is called new professionals. It's in this forum. 

karma is to me useless, if the person goes out of bounds they should at the very least have their profile reported to Mark. karma doesn't go far enough. I didn't even notice the karma on profiles til after noticed there forums on the site.

snuggle554321

Karma is useful for pros to let other pros know if they should be aware of a specific individual. Pretty much any clients that is bad enough where a professional will take the risk of listing bad karma has to be pretty bad.  Professionals who do that are trying to help protect other professionals. 

as far as I am concerned both parties take a huge risk in meeting.  That is why I will never let anyone in my house or go into anyone else's house from this site or any other. I did that in the past and I see that as a mistake.  I don't understand how one would stay in a session if the other party was touching certain areas you were not comfortable with.  

@kalamjtyjane  couldn't have said it better… "In my experience, the most dangerous thing to do is make a man feel rejected. Especially if you already know he doesnt respect you enough to listen when you say no and youre in his bedroom alone."

So true.  Sometimes it isn't a matter of just getting up and leaving. If someone is going to be so disrespectful that they aren't listening to several layers of "no" you are already in a compromising or dangerous situation.  

That is why you don't go to their house first time or have them in your house either the first time.

Atreides

I had a beautiful cuddling experience with a professional cuddler buddy and it was at her house.  I trusted her and things were sooooo nice !!!!     
I just wish she wasn't so far.   Why can't we have easier transportation?   It took me nearly two hours to get home after the session.  

Morpheus

@Atreides you're in SoCal, my friend, where it can take 45 minutes to drive 3 miles. I wish there were more pros out our way. I do work in LA so I'm lucky in that sense that if a pro hosts, I can see them after work or on my break like I did this past Saturday ;-p

MrSolo, I remember Cali, I was in SD but driving to LA certain times of the day were  horrendous. I don't miss that traffic. love the weather though

Morpheus

@navyvet76 It is often said that San Diego has the best weather in the world.

But it is $$$$