https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/19/opinion/social-skills-connection.html?unlocked_article_code=1.4Uw.Xg7M.OO0A3NTVsoZi&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
I hope this is not behind the paywall…
I thought this was a thoughtful, insightful and in some ways, inspiring essay about how we can really try to see each other and foster genuinely deep connections. In Mr. Brooks’ descriptions of people he calls “illuminators”, I am reminded of many of the incredible people that I have had the privilege of meeting here and how those with whom I have shared truly special moments transcended the physical connections that we ostensibly come here for.
Reading these forums, I frequently see people lashing out at others, suffering the ravages of loneliness and a sense of invisibility that is all too common in our society. An example are the people who express their frustrations with lack of responses, and on the other side, those who try to respond and help, and are disrespected and at times objectified…
I think, at the end of the day, we all just want to be seen and accepted for who we are, and maybe this article can provide a basic framework for people who are having a hard time really finding the connection they seek. I think it may also be useful for those just starting out in this community, maybe as pros, but not just them, but to give people a way to go above and beyond the physical aspects of cuddling and to get to the next level of connection and true intimacy, seeing the person in front of you, in all their vulnerability, and doing so in a way that lets them feel seen and accepted.
I would love to read people’s thoughts on this…