@TD1964RGK Yeah, I’m saying your point was needless and nonsensical because this sign doesn’t prevent anyone from connecting.
Respect doesn’t mean I have to agree with you or think your point is valid. It would, in fact, be disrespectful if I treated you kid gloves.
“Kudos for sure to the staff for working under such conditions”
These aren’t new conditions. I’ve talked to baristas who worked in the 90s and it was just as bad, if not worse, due to sexism and societal norms that forced women to be quiet and accept this abuse. Many men thought things were better then, that baristas were more friendly than they are today, because men were not on the receiving end of these injustices. Women silently accepting the abuse doesn’t mean things were better back then.
The sign makes me happy because it means I’m patronizing a business that defends its workers and doesn’t force women to silently put up with things.
Just because it was invisible back in the old days does not mean it didn’t happen. And the old status quo of harassment being left unsaid did not make us more connected. It just pushed problems into the dark.
A little sign showing protection and support for workers doesn’t infringe on connection, if you’re not a creep. That’s why I see no point to harping on about connection somehow being affected. It doesn’t affect you as long as you aren’t creepy. I’ve made friends with many baristas and bartenders because I don’t act like a creep.
@sunnysideup @CharlieBear @BashfulLoner I personally don’t have a problem getting hit on. I tend to think of it as a compliment when someone shows a liking or interest in you in whatever way they do it. I think it’s just when it crosses a line into your personal space or moral boundary that it becomes an issue.
@BoomerSpooner lol.
@BoomerSpooner Haha that also seems like it would be horrible
@Lovelight
Yes, I totally agree that it's amazing when something nice happens to you and you aren't expecting it. It would just be nice to be more aware of when it is appropriate for me to escalate things - I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, be put in an awkward position where they have to reject me etc, but I also don't want to miss an opportunity to meet/connect with amazing people.
The combination of them already being my type plus me being nervous is just going to make me more attracted to them, I suppose. Also I really like horror movies haha
I sometimes compliment women and even if they seem to be happy from it, I still sometimes cut the conversation and run away. I also get the thing where someone I like starts talking to me, and I want to run away also. Or a cute lady I don't know smiles at me in public and I just get really flustered and look for any exit. Dealing with strangers I think is always going to have an element of uncertainty but I think this kind of exposure has helped me deal with things and appear more normal, especially in front of people I like.
Yeah, being a racial minority can be an advantage or disadvantage depending on where you are, what gender you are, what reputation your 'race' has (for example, among some groups of people, they look at me and think American hating terrorist. Other groups of people look at me and think smart engineer or doctor), if there are any racial fetishes that have been made popular, and some other factors. Where I've been, it's seemed to have been a disadvantage. American dating app statistics show that people who look like me are the least liked male group on dating apps. There are race-specific dating apps you can download these days though, that I've tried.
Sometimes I get an inkling someone might possibly like me, but it's usually by comparison - she is nicer/acts more interested in me compared to other people she's known for an equivalent amount of time. Or if she shows an intense interest. But even then, I'm still not sure, sometimes people are just curious and get caught up in conversation too. The only way to know for sure is to ask, or escalate things slightly and proceed only if there's reciprocation, I suppose.
I've had my fair share of blunders. Just because I don't mean to be creepy, doesn't mean that I won't show creepy behavior. Back many years ago, I didn't know that when a woman said that she doesn't know what weekend she would be free, it was just code for she is not interested in dating me. So I did the thing where I asked if she would be free on any weekdays, she said no, then I asked about the following weekends, then she just ghosted me. I'm sure I was giving her anxiety, and I feel bad for that, like she was thinking what do I say to this guy so that he stops messaging me, but I didn't get the hint. I'm trying to further iron out those social blights out of the way I interact with people. But what you are doing wrong isn't always explicitly pointed out to you.
@PrettyLuv Yeah, it just gets a little confusing when you see youtube shorts of women saying they don't want to be hit on in public, then you see other youtube shorts where women say they want to be hit on at a Target or Home Depot or whatever. And of course, your personal space and boundaries should never be broken or invaded in a disrespectful way. When I ask women out in public, I try to do so in a way that is as respectful as possible
@bobadevotee
. I’ve talked to baristas who worked in the 90s and it was just as bad, if not worse, due to sexism and societal norms that forced women to be quiet and accept this abuse. Many men thought things were better then, that baristas were more friendly than they are today, because men were not on the receiving end of these injustices.
Yeah, I don't really understand when people talk about older times that were better, especially if they didn't live in those times. As far as I'm aware, support for groups of people that have been marginalized is only getting better with the newer generations of people