This reminds me of a thread that came up a couple of weeks ago: https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/18306/amateur-cuddlers-upkeep-or-friendships/p1
Some people are seeking to form friendships (at least to some degree, not necessarily BFFs or anything). To put it the way @pmvines did, "We aren't mere forest creatures trying to stay warm."
For others, it is really more about providing a professional service and not getting in any way attached (friendship or otherwise) with others. It's not that one mindset is right and the other is wrong. But when one person seeks one and other seeks the other, it can create a lack of cuddle chemistry.
A comment like that from a professional cuddler is a red flag.
@MountainCuddles Agree. They were out of bounds.
@sillysassy Great points. Also, thanks for bringing up the Four Agreements. A classic that is even more relevant now than when the book came out.
@MountainCuddles geninue question...why do you think it was a red flag?
Not to dismiss your offence, @bashful loner, I read the pro's response as a poor choice of word/s but not necessarily with malice. Thought the pro might be over zealous in giving unsolicited advice, they thought MAY have better suited for you. (Not sure the level/ amount of back and forth you guys had about costs).
I actually understood the 'real relationship' part, to be about a romantic relationship. The pro may presume this can provide you with touch without the finances. Then again that suggestion even in that way could come across rude or insensitive. It was interesting to read how differently others percieved that part.
Thanks for that repost @KingsportCuddle.
Hey just popping back in, been a busy day. For the most part I'm glad most understand where I'm coming from and thanks for the input. I think most of the folks that offered input know i don't take much of this too seriously and don't get irritated by much that's said in here, so when i found myself thinking about it more than i usually do, i thought I'd check to see if i was off.
It wasn't about the money for me at all, i didn't share that when the conversation started to go well and thought it might be a potential connection, i asked what would make it worth her while. Because i understand all the factors involved. When i thought it was to much for me i declined, and reserved an opportunity to connect another time. When it might work out better for both of us. I was fine with the entire exchange until the last response. Maybe i irritated her by declining, i don't know, but that last statement irked me.
Im fine and i do appreciate this didn't get into an angry back and forth amongst us for the most part.
@sillysassy i do try as much as i can to be impeccable with my words, lessons from the four agreements. @Mike403 i got your intention. @PrettyLuv i feel like you had my back, i appreciate it.
Also to all, including the lady i mentioned should she read this. (She really seems like a lovely woman) i don't want to assume the worst about her comment, but i felt what i felt.
Peace, love and soul!
I’ve had cuddlers drive to me for a set amount of time tk make it worth their while plus travel fee and I’ve flown for cuddles including across the pond :-) but I’m sure if she had said “consider a relationship” in person it would have sounded different then what you may have imagined in your head. I’m sure she only said it with the best intentions.
@BashfulLoner thank you for sharing a little more and you do try to be impeccable with your word I see that….
I was probably thinking along the lines of “don’t take it personally” because her mild accusation or unsolicited advice maybe had a million other things behind it
Whether she was having an off day or an interesting reaction to you it was just her perspective. It doesn’t make it fact.
I’m so grateful you are a part of this community. 😊
Long distance hugs dammmmmit!!
@BashfulLoner Always 🤗
I personally would never question how much a professional asks. They have their reasons. I mean, the money has to be worth their time and effort. There are plenty of professionals out there. If one doesn't match your price point, then go find another one.