When would you make the decision to leave a bad review or even to report?

LilyTherapy

Two bad experiences I had:
First was with a weirdo that 5 minutes in the cuddle changed his mind and told me “vibe is not there” then asked me to return his money 🤦‍♀️ I was surprised and I thought (then asked him) that if he was expecting intimacy? His answer was “no I can get that anywhere”, I didn’t believe that answer obviously but left anyway and I truly felt that he had anger issues and deep frustration. A bit unsafe 🧐
Second was with a dude who first invited me to dinner we ended up spending 2 hours (he only paid for dinner) then when we went to his place for a cuddle he started being touchy and I started removing his hand and he was saying “It’s not sexual I’m just trying to feel you” 😂
I then told him I had to go, when I got back home I received his text saying that he paid for an hour but got less than 40 minutes of actual cuddle time 🤦‍♀️
The nerves! I didn’t make him pay for my time even though we got to his place a half hour after the planned time and didn’t even make a scene for his crossing boundaries and he sent me that?
But anyway I guess my fear from reporting those types are:
1- retaliation by reporting me back for whatever bogus excuse
2- leaving me bad reviews in retaliation too

What would you do?

SunsetSnuggles

The first guy, I'd say it's totally fine to cancel a cuddle if you're not feeling it, for any reason. If women can do this, so can men. As for getting a refund though, you'd have to look up the cancellation policies. I think it's at your discretion. If he was demanding rather than apologetic, meh.

Second guy, report.

As for your concerns of retaliation, keep any records of contact and include them in your report. The mods will remove any unfair Karma, if they deem it to be so.

~ Sunset Snuggles

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JoyfulHeart

@LilyTherapy As a moderator, I would say if you have concerns, file a report. We don't act on reports without some thought about how it might effect the person reporting. In some cases, your report would be followed by one filed by another person, in which case we would have additional verification and it will also be less obvious to the offender who it was that reported them, because they know that they've misbehaved with more than one person.

In cases where someone leaves revenge karma, that can be reported as well. In cases where the right moderator action isn't obvious, we might discuss it among ourselves.

Reports that we don't act on can still have value, because they can show likely patterns of behavior.

Thank you for the question. I hope this helps, and feel free to message me.

Jubal

But anyway I guess my fear from reporting those types are: 1- retaliation by reporting me back for whatever bogus excuse 2- leaving me bad reviews in retaliation too

Don't ever let such possible retaliation outweigh sending in a report or bad review if it's warranted. The mods can sort it out.

WiserGuy3000

The first one doesn't seem reportable, a little weird but potentially just a "didn't click" sort of situation.

The second one should definitely be reported.

CuddleDuncan

@LilyTherapy I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time, and thank you for still being here and talking to us. Your optimism is justified - there are lovely clients out there too.

Regrettably, these kind of stories are all too familiar to forum regulars - it really isn't just you. The good news is that it gets easier as you gain experience, partly because you gain the ability to spot potential trouble early and head it off at the pass, and partly because the predatory types tend to target professionals who are new.

As for the clients, the second one is easy - that's way, way, way over the line for Reporting. There's no need to worry about revenge Karma - false or misleading Karma should always be Reported and is routinely deleted by the mods.

As @JoyfulHeart has reiterated above, the request from the mods is always the same: if in doubt, Report. Bogus reports are usually spotted for what they are. This is partly why it's so important to keep all communication on the site - the mods can read the messages (once their has been a Report) and that often provides valuable background for them.

In the case of the first one, you are entitled to leave true, fair and polite Karma for the client. The risk there is there is that he will leave 1-star Karma for you with a brief, vague text that isn't technically unfair or untrue. He is not entitled to any money back, although if it was a long booking (i.e. more than two hours) and his manner was kind you may wish to consider a small refund. However, it sounds like his manner wasn't kind.