Is virtual cuddling a thing?
If so what is the going rate for an hour?
I am new to this and curious about the options
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No. Cuddling is a physical, in-person activity.
How does that even work?
Not sure. Hence the question.
There are other threads on this. Opinions vary, of course. Each pro would set their own rates.
I don’t call it “virtual cuddling” but A video chat session is whatever makes you comfortable! Some have the phone positioned so we’re chatting while laying down, or just simply sitting on a couch talking away. I’ve had some that like to sing with me, others play word games or board games. If you have suggestions, I’m certainly open to learning new ways to video chat as long as it’s platonic of course!! 🌸🌸
Worth searching for earlier threads. The most common opinion from enthusiasts/clients is that this is not nearly as effective/desirable/real as in person, although there are certainly those who have had good experiences.
Not surprisingly, more pros are for it.
Really, it's a personal thing. For ME, the physical touch is the whole point. For others, the interpersonal connection is primary and touch from another person is secondary. What do YOU want?
Virtual sessions can take on many forms But for the most part it's generally just a chat session. Some people will gain benefits from a virtual session, especially if they don't have a way to cuddle in person, like to build a connection/ break the ice before a in person session, or etc...
Here is a few other examples of the way virtual sessions can go:
Sharing cozy moments: Sit or lie comfortably on our respective beds or couches while video calling/chatting and share the moment of closeness.
Virtual hugs: Mimic hugging actions by wrapping ourselves in blankets or pillows while virtually expressing the action of hugging each other.
Eye contact: Maintain eye contact /gazing during the call to create a sense of connection.
Gentle touch (platonic only) : If both people are comfortable, can simulate gentle touches by touching our own body in a comforting manner while on the call (examples: stroking our own arm/hand, rubbing our own shoulders, cupping our own face, running fingers through our hair, etc).
Shared activities: Engage in activities like watching a movie, reading a book, doing a task together during the call, while periodically expressing warmth verbally or just being there for you.
Edit to add: Virtual sessions basically came about due to the covid pandemic when people could not meet in person.
Rates for any session is always set by the pro cuddler.
This comes up from time to time. There is a metathread of links which is a sticky on the Professional Cuddling board.
Yes, virtual cuddling is a thing. No, cuddling is not primarily a physical activity. (It's primarily emotional: you don't cuddle people you detest. And we cuddle because it makes us feel better.) Yes, virtual cuddling is not quite as good as cuddling in person. But yes, it can be nearly as good. (I've never heard anybody claim it was better.) Yes, a lot of people, but not everybody, can benefit from it. No, virtual cuddling is not the same as what I call online companionship, as discussed by @Sheena123 above. Yes, both are brilliant, they are just different. Yes, some people are unable to distinguish between "I haven't done it/don't understand it" and "it doesn't exist".
Professionals set their own rates. Virtual cuddling is usually a much lower rate than in-person cuddling, typically a half or two-thirds.
Re: "virtual cuddling is not as good as the real thing"
Folks are comparing apples to oranges and saying oranges are not "real" and are not as good as apples 🙄 Virtual cuddling/sessions and in-person cuddles are both forms of platonic intimate companionship. One involves mutual touch, the other doesn't. They are not actually substitutes for each other and should not be compared as such, but rather they fulfill different needs for different people under different contexts. Virtual cuddling became more popular and well known during the pandemic, but it existed long before then. That people used it as a temporary substitute is on them - again, it's using oranges in the place of apples.
Virtual cuddling can be very fulfilling when expectations are set appropriately. If you go in expecting it to feel the same and fill the need of in-person touch, you're going to be disappointed. If you go in expecting to build emotional intimacy, companionship, nervous system regulation, and perhaps meet other tactile needs then you're more likely to have a good time.
Facilitating actual virtual cuddling sessions, versus just chatting/being a companion, is a skill that has to be learned, and many pro cuddlers have not learned how. They, like the clients, think it's just chatting and hanging out and so it's no big deal. But in the hands of a skilled facilitator it can be a completely different experience - akin to the difference between having a skilled meditation/yoga teacher vs. some person trying to teach after reading about it with no actual education or experience.
Online companionship is incredibly important for people who lack access for any number of reasons, and virtual cuddling is another tool in the toolbox. Saying that it's not "real" because it is something you do not personally value or need can deter others who could truly benefit from ever trying it. So please, if it's not something you like to do, say that, but don't invalidate the experience and needs of others.
What @cuddlefaery said.
Actually folks are comparing carrots to oranges. Both are real, but only one is a fruit. While video chats can provide some of the elements that people are seeking from a cuddle, it is not cuddling by the actual definition of the word. https://merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cuddle
I do virtual cuddling and have found people really enjoy it. For my job I do counseling so Ive incorporated deep breathing bc I have found a lot of people are needing it to heal from trauma and to feel a connection.
@cuddlefaery “Facilitating actual virtual cuddling sessions, versus just chatting/being a companion, is a skill that has to be learned, and many pro cuddlers have not learned how.”
I’d love to hear about how you facilitate your virtual sessions. Mine are focused on chatting, which I do find valuable and rewarding. Are you saying yours are more akin to actual cuddling? Tell us more! 😍
@Erin_Elle_ I bet you are right about virtual cuddling being a skill. I know that I'd be terrible at it; I'm definitely more of an in-person kind of person, lol. I had to do a lot of Zoom meetings when I was getting my last degree and I didn't enjoy them at all.
It is cool though that there are people who find them enjoyable and get benefit out of them--I think that is great.