Asking what others would do.
I am willing to show my ID in person if she’ll do it but I’ll just never send a picture or let anyone take a pic of my ID/DL. That being said, 9 years on CC and I’ve never been asked to see my ID.
I'd agree to share a redacted photo
I don't have a problem with a potential cuddler asking for ID info, but I wouldn't do that over the internet. Sending an image of an ID card electronically can increase the chances of identity theft. Unless it's a very established and reputable person on the site, you really never know who you're communicating with until you meet them.
Showing them an ID in person isn't a problem, for instance, if you were initially meeting in public to establish trust and to show good faith effort.
However, I've never been asked for an ID from anyone on this site... yet.
Asking for an ID is one way some pro cuddlers vet for safety purposes, so that they (or their safety contact) can give police identifying information if anything goes wrong. It's not an uncommon ask in many service fields where there's personal safety risks.
One way I suggest folks who are nervous about identity theft comply with these requests is by covering up your birthday and address - the important information for vetting/safety purposes is real full name, ID number, and the photo. You can cover the info with fingers when you take a pic, or even with a piece of blank paper. I don't recommend using an editing app to blackout/draw on the photo as that's actually fairly easy to undo with more advanced photo editing. I just have 2 copies of my photo ID saved to my phone so that I can provide them if needed: a full one and a partially covered one.
Well, I never ask for photo ID before meeting a new cuddler but I understand why other cuddlers do!😊
All I ask for is a recent FACE PIC (no hats, no sunglasses, no masks) and their first and last name, as I will provide both of mine as well.😊
I have shown ID in person BUT would never send online to someone because of fraud and security risks
Many pros ask for ID before meeting, and I do see it encouraged in the pro only forums as a safety measure. Although the lukewarm reception it gets in the non-pro forums makes me wonder if it’s legit safety advice or if it’s competitive pros trying to make other pros lose business by giving poor advice on purpose. Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen pros be shady towards each other.
It’s something the site should be doing in the first place because so many assaults happen here, and I’ve seen pros who had no idea what information to give to police, so the culprit got away with it.
Remember that you’re a stranger online, and no one has any reason to trust you. We have no way to know if you’re a criminal or not without having something to check.
It’s not really a red flag; it happens sometimes. I don’t think it’s a completely unreasonable request, but on the other hand I also think it’s reasonable to not want to do it. If you’re not comfortable with it just book with one of the 98% of pros who don’t ask for this.
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Umm, yeah. Of course. Don't be silly and sending that private info electronically. You don't know these people and who are you going to call if things go sideways? Politely decline, and find someone else.
I send my colonoscopy results with my name blocked out. It lets them know that I may be an a55hole, but I am a clean a55hole.
@cuddlefaery's suggestion is absolutely spot on. A possible variation is to show suitably redacted ID during a video call.
Asking for ID is, in and of itself, categorically not a red flag. It's a perfectly legitimate safety technique. Arguably it's a green flag: it's what professionals should do. I have personally been asked for it several times, and I followed @cuddlefaery's suggestion.
Demanding ID and refusing to provide some form of reciprocation is a dubious practice for obvious reasons.
Men on this site face unpleasant or criminal incidents less frequently than women, but we don't know how much less frequently. Some of these events are serious. Any man who is meeting a woman he has not met before from this site, and thinks he is completely safe, is a fool. This is particularly true in the USA.
@bobadevotee Cuddle Comfort is a social networking site, not an agency, and it is the user's job to take responsibility for their own safety. The reason showing ID sometimes gets an apparently lukewarm reception in the forums is because some of the people who comment are predators or sexual offenders and want to discourage anything that might make it easier to catch them. Others are not offenders themselves but are sympathisers. Others still are misogynists who don't think it's ok for women to ask anything at all of men.
If you don't like it, just decline and move onto the next profile. Don't argue or negotiate, those are red flags. It's NOT a site requirement. Not a pro, but as a woman I still won't ask for ID from a fellow cuddler unless they have no manners (see my profile). I also won't provide my ID. (I have other vetting processes.) ID cards are easy to fake. Most people wouldn't know the markings to detect fakes, especially over a video chat and with "redactions." TLDR: It's ok to say no and move onto the next profile.
I wouldn't say it's a red flag. Most who request it do so as a safety precaution (make sure your ID looks like your pics and verify your name), and its usually suitable to show ID with redacted information.
As @CuddleDuncan said
Cuddle Comfort is a social networking site, not an agency, and it is the user's job to take responsibility for their own safety. The reason showing ID sometimes gets an apparently lukewarm reception in the forums is because some of the people who comment [could be] predators or sexual offenders and want to discourage anything that might make it easier to catch them.
Cuddle Comfort is a social networking site, not an agency, and it is the user's job to take responsibility for their own safety.
The reason showing ID sometimes gets an apparently lukewarm reception in the forums is because some of the people who comment [could be] predators or sexual offenders and want to discourage anything that might make it easier to catch them.
CC even states that:
We do not check the credibility or authenticity of the Client. Cuddle Comfort makes no claim that using our website to organise cuddle sessions is safe. Before any session begins, the Cuddler should always exercise due diligence independent of our website in respect to satisfying their own peace of mind in regards to safety.
We do not check the credibility or authenticity of the Client.
Cuddle Comfort makes no claim that using our website to organise cuddle sessions is safe. Before any session begins, the Cuddler should always exercise due diligence independent of our website in respect to satisfying their own peace of mind in regards to safety.
So CC puts all the safety precautions and screening on its pros (and members). The only people they screen even in the slightest are the pros as we have to apply and be approved.
If you're uncomfortable with providing a picture of your ID, consider discussing alternative ways to show it, other ways to ensure safety, or just seek services from professionals with practices that align more closely with your preferences.
Wishing everyone safe cuddles. 🫂
@CuddleDuncan I am about people who I know are pros, encouraging the lukewarm reception. If you’re implying pros are trying to appeal to predators, that’s concerning.
I wouldn't, it just increases the chances of something bad happening to you. But that's me with my cost/benefit. You may have a higher benefit than I which could tip the scale.
@Ihavenoidea2 that is not a red flag, it’s pretty standard for any other job or interaction with IDs. Imagine if I demanded the TSA agent show me their ID before I showed mine. It’s a one way interaction for a reason. The TSA agent is much more in danger of some rando stalking or harassing them, especially with how angry people get at TSA agents.
The pros here who ask for ID are professional and won’t be doing anything with the information other than making sure you’re not a registered sex offender or that you’re not a previously banned client.
And just as with the TSA agent, the risk of danger to a pro is far greater than risk to the client, due to many factors. 1. Size and gender. Most pros are women, most clients are men. Generally, men are stronger and more able to hurt women. 2. CC policies that allow banned clients to repeatedly harass pros easily. I’ve seen many pros getting repeatedly stalked and harassed by clients who kept making new accounts to evade bans. I saw a pro almost meet with her stalker because he made a new account and she didn’t know it was him. 3. CC policies PERMANENTLY ban bad pros. Pros cannot make new accounts because CC actually has our personally identifying information on file, unlike with clients. Even if I got a fake ID, it wouldn’t work because they’d see my bank account information and know it was me.
There’s good reason for it to be a one way street with IDs because the risk and danger for one party far outweighs the other. It’s far more likely for a pro to be stalked by a client, than the other way around.
Here’s my ID if anyone needs it
Sounds like protocol.
The reason showing ID sometimes gets an apparently lukewarm reception in the forums is because some of the people who comment are predators or sexual offenders and want to discourage anything that might make it easier to catch them. Others are not offenders themselves but are sympathisers. Others still are misogynists who don't think it's ok for women to ask anything at all of men.
Or simply because people don't feel it is safe to text or email a copy of their photo ID and because since it is not very common, they will opt to connect with a cuddler that does not require one.
So Demanding ID is a dubious practice and refusing the comply or cooperate with that dubious practice is also a dubious practice?
To me this is kind of a non-issue since I was never asked for ID and when I see a profile that does, I click NEXT. Similar to hosting fees, travel fees, deposits. done like it move on.
Agree with @bobadevotee
Size and gender. Most pros are women, most clients are men. Generally, men are stronger and more able to hurt women.
That's just a general, biological truth. And it applies to all aspects of life.
I second @TxTom and @cuddlefaery
@bobadevotee
CC policies PERMANENTLY ban bad pros. Pros cannot make new accounts because CC actually has our personally identifying information on file, unlike with clients. Even if I got a fake ID, it wouldn’t work because they’d see my bank account information and know it was me.>
I’ve seen banned pros come back and make new accounts more than once.
@Mulder35 Here is an unbiased idea: call your financial institution and ask a Fraud dept rep if they think it's a smart idea to show your ID to a random stranger from the internet. Be totally honest and tell the rep the person is an independent contractor on the Web site, not an employee, most likely doesn't have a business license or DBA or insurance and you won't know their real name, address or phone number. Get the Fraud dept unbiased input. They're a wealth of knowledge who love to help their customers and they know what risks are involved.
Are there actually cuddlers out there asking for ID? As I said in my above comment, 9 years on this site, numerous cuddle buddies over the years, never once been asked for my ID.
@starrynitecuds
If you don't like it, just decline and move onto the next profile. Don't argue or negotiate
This seems like common sense to me. Don’t know why there is so much back and forth on this subject. I can see why some ask for ID and I understand those that say no way. Be true to yourself and do what you are comfortable doing.
Take a photo of your ID, open an image editor and block out the personal items line-by-line except your picture and first name. Then take a screenshot of that image so no one can remove those black boxes. Also, be sure to remove location info from the exif data. If you share photos with people online, hopefully you know how to remove that info because you don't want to be showing strangers on the internet where you live via your photos.
Show them your ID once they show you their business license and statement from their auditor that they are in compliance with laws on protection of personal information. Trust goes both ways.