Ladies Cuddle for Cheap

PixiePassions

"Ladies Cuddle for Cheap" is of course a joke referring to the bar cliché of "Ladies drink for free".

❗ My sincerest apologies if this topic has already been discussed.❗

I lack both the time and mental bandwidth to search the forums. 🫠

Is it unethical to offer women a significantly lower rate for cuddling?

I know there are many pros who would like to switch it up once in a while and have female clients, but the demand is very low, as we all know. I myself have almost reached out to another pro to book, because there is something definitely different to cuddling a woman. (I'm speaking primarily of Divine Feminine Energy vs Divine Masculine Energy. I love both, but it would be nice to have a change of pace.)

I've only had one female client in the almost eight months I've been doing this, and I offered her a discount for being my first female client. I know Cuddle Comfort frowns upon offering too many discounts, and I'm pretty sure it's not encouraged to offer them specifically based on a person's... Well, anything. (Save for maybe someone who is lower income, I think the occasional "donation" is okay. Another reason I gave my only female client a discount.)

Have any other pros offered discounted rates to females, or wanted to? Is it considered in poor taste? (Seeing as this, in fact, is not a bar. Lmao) Do male cuddlers take offense to this, or do they kind of... "get it"?

Again, apologies for any repeated discussion or if I missed something (in the guidelines, previous topics). My memory is not fantastic. 🙃 I'm genuinely just curious on where people stand.

starrynitecuds

If you're going to do it, make sure you have a lawyer on retainer.
"New York Law Forbids Gendered Pricing."
You're in Connecticut, which neighbors NY, so you don't want to try it there, it applies to services, too. Other states and municipalities have enacted similar laws against it. My state has a case-by-case attitude.
Ethically? Ick. Do you like being discriminated against because of your gender?
What should men "get"? That they're men, so they can pay you more? Talk about perpetuating the oft-said belief that Pros here only think of the men as an ATM.
CC can't frown on discounts. You're not their employee. I have seen pros with discounts for number of hours, days of the week, last minute open time slots, birthdays, certain # of sessions, type of activities, in certain cities, etc.

KariMeiSnuggles

I have never had a female client in the 5 years i have been on here. I think it would be wonderful to have a female client! My boyfriend wanted to book a cuddle for his mom for her birthday with someone other than the two of us (who are both professionals.) but i ended up reaching out to a friend of mine who used to be a professional instead. she was so excited to have a female client and i have to admit i'm a bit jealous.

HarleyGirlKate

I'm not a pro cuddler so anything I am saying is from a client standpoint.

I don't see this as a problem and it should be "what the market will bear," though I'm familiar with some places having laws against "gendered pricing." I and a lot of women have dealt with gendered pricing for a very long time with things like getting our hair cut. I remember when I was in college in the 80s into the 90s there was a point where I was keeping my hair super short because I was doing the whole "butch" thing with my look, and I still had to pay higher prices for haircuts than if I had been a man.

I found this a bit annoying and a little unfair, but on the other hand there were plenty of women willing to pay the higher rate so I ended up learning how to use a Flowbee until I started growing my hair back out again later on.

So far as here goes, I don't really know what CC thinks about charging less for women, but if one wants to get more women to cuddle with one as a pro, then lowering the price seems like a good idea rather than saying, "We have to charge everyone the same," but continuing to get mostly male clients when one might like a bit more diversity in one's cuddling practice. After all, if you want something to change you can't just keep doing the same thing and expect a different outcome.

Now as a female client who has so far in the short time I've been on here booked two pros, I have to say that if the price were significantly lower I'd probably book with the same pro as a monthly thing, much l like how I have a standing appointment with my massage therapist.

TxTom

@PixiePassions

Is it unethical to offer women a significantly lower rate for cuddling?

No, it's not.

Do male cuddlers take offense to this, or do they kind of... "get it"?

No, we don't take offense. We totally get it. Your preferences are nothing for anyone else to be offended by.

It is not unethical or -ist in any way.

TxTom

"New York Law Forbids Gendered Pricing."

New York is transforming itself into a totalitarian police state. I would discourage anyone from doing any business there, or from living there. It needs to be starved of tax revenue.

CuddleDuncan

Cuddle Comfort is based in England, although the Terms and Conditions are governed by US law.

Here in England, it is illegal to discriminate on any 'protected characteristic'. These are

age
disability
gender reassignment
marriage or civil partnership (in employment only)
pregnancy and maternity
race
religion or belief
sex
sexual orientation

It is not necessary to prove that the discrimination was deliberate or intended, only that it occurred. This law is not controversial and all major parties support it.

However, distinction is not the same as discrimination, so it's not at all obvious that CC's differing polices for charging men and women professionals is discriminatory, since it is not the case that one sex will pay more or less than another.

Since CC already makes a distinction between sexes in its pricing, it is reasonable for a professional to consider the possibility of a distinction in theirs. If you are keen on doing this, I would suggest doing it during the communication phase not on the profile, and limit profile comments to something like, "Women clients are very welcome".

Most men won't care if you do offer explicit discounts. The usual suspects will be outraged. I would be surprised if it made a material difference to the number of women clients you attract.

What concerns me, @PixiePassions, is the slight possibility that in the excitement of getting to cuddle more women, you may inadvertently not give them the full care and thoughtfulness that every client deserves. If you'd like to cuddle women, it's completely normal for women professionals to hire other women professionals to cuddle (as you mentioned). In some cases one woman behaves as a client, and in others there is no payment either way and the meeting is mutual. Both are great, you just need to be clear which one it is you are doing. There is definitely scope in most areas for professionals to do more to support each other.

As for "unethical" .... that seems a bit harsh for an initiative intended to bring more cuddles into the world. But, in my view, different rates for different sexes isn't a good look.

The CC terms of service technically require professionals to cuddle everybody, but this rule - unusually - is not strictly enforced. It is therefore hard to say what the site's viewpoint would be except that they are likely to wish it had never come up. Discounts per se are common and the site has no view on them: professionals set their own rates.

TxTom

It is not necessary to prove that the discrimination was deliberate or intended, only that it occurred.

Tyranny, enter stage left.

This law is not controversial and all major parties support it.

Of course all the Vogons support it. Bureaucracy gets bigger and more intrusive with every new victim class it concocts. The unaminous support of "all major parties" is irrelevant as to whether laws are right or wrong.

pmvines

@PixiePassions
Regarding matters like pricing for your services ,my advice is to seek advice of admin and not opinion s of the general public . It's your thing, and I could write an essay of my opinions and put my words into your mouth but it's ultimately up to you and up to admin to determine if it breaches anything .

cuddlefaery

Speaking as a woman who has paid pro cuddlers (of varying genders) for sessions, and who has catered my own services towards women and non-binary clients in the past, my biggest tip is this:

Instead of lowering pay rates to entice the clientele you want, instead increase the value of your services to cater to their needs.

Speaking very generally, cisgendered heterosexual men are going to have different aspects of cuddle sessions they value vs. women, trans folks, gay men, etc. in large part due to the socialization and societal expectations we place on the different genders. Of course not everyone fits neatly into boxes, but stereotypes are generally based off of core truths and that gives us a place to start. For instance, again speaking very generally, men are going to have lower social-emotional skills and have been socialized to not have platonic touch as much as women - thus many men seek professional cuddling to fill their touch needs since they lack the social skills women have to fill their needs in other ways. The vast majority of women and trans folks have touch trauma and are more likely to seek pro cuddling services to work on healing from that.

There's always going to be exceptions, but if you build your business around the needs of your desired clients your more likely to find more of them than if you cater to the clients you want less of. If you want more women as clients, design service packages around what they're more likely to want or try rewording your advertising to cater to them rather than to the majority male clients. Create safe spaces that front consent and bodily autonomy, actively discuss keywords important to women in your area, and offer specials like friend referrals that tap into women's social skills. There's a ton of info out there about how to find your niche and do branding, and most of it is available for free if you're willing to take the time and effort to learn the how of small business.

sage91436

Cuddle comfort itself charges pros differently based on gender. Women must pay a % of all bookings were men must pay a monthly fee of a set dollar amount.

starrynitecuds

@sage91436 if Pro cuddler wanted to push the issue in those areas that have legislated against gender pricing, they certainly could. But the Pro better be reporting all their cuddling income to the IRS (and the state) and following all tax/business laws, since they will be in the spotlight. Most don't want to draw IRS attention to themselves.