Does anyone here work at a senior facility? Any idea if they have any means for members to get cuddles?
They could in theory cuddle each other. They have the time and the leisure. I heard viruses and STDs spread like wildfires in senior centers.
Reported and reviewed. Leaving intact, though considering spreading STD's would more likely be the result of non-platonic activity, let's keep the focus on any hurdles surrounding platonic cuddling. [CharlieBear]
I've heard that too, but that's sex. Cuddling would be less able to propagate STDs, yes?
@1_teddybear They probably do both. But yes they would benefit from cuddling in any shape or form.
@Minestrone101 Do you have inside information into such a facility?
@1_teddybear So yes there are programs but not enough of them. Here are a few I found on line that are legitimate. And they don’t mention anything about sex or STDs (what an odd thing for someone to respond to your question with on a platonic site):
https://seniorsnuggles.com/
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/amp/134129
I do socialwork at a nursing home. Cuddling would be difficult in this setting. Most patients are not in private rooms and staff are constantly in and out checking on patients, doing bed baths, or lengthy paperwork. Nursing homes are LOUD. Every patient has the TV volume set to 11, call lights constantly beeping, phones ringing, and staff yelling down the halls. Many patients are there for rehab or wound care. DME such as oxygen equipment, cardiac monitors, wheelchairs, walkers, etc. hinder ROM and intimacy. Many staff including the nurses and doctors would be openly hostile to your visits. Lastly, very few patients could afford to pay.
@1_teddybear Yup.
https://www.homehelpershomecare.com/clearwater/community-blog/2018/march/seniors-at-high-risk-for-sexually-transmitted-di/
https://www.boomershub.com/blog/stds-in-nursing-homes
https://nursinghomesabuse.org/nursing-home-injuries/infections/stds/
@MiamiFisher Thank you for the update. To be honest that sounds horrific.
Did I mention that bladder and bowel incontinence is also very common in skilled nursing facilities? Oh...and two of our diabetic patients have gangrene on the legs. Gangrene and C-diff are just two of the MANY odors that one never forgets!
Many facilities are concerned about sexual abuse of those people who are bed bound and cannot get help for themselves. However, as a long time educator and volunteer in residential facilities I can add that many of the residents are very comforted by having someone sit with them and hold their hand or rub their arm. Not 'full' cuddling but still positive and pleasant human touch!
This thread took a really odd nose-dive right at lift-off.
@TxTom we actually agree on that
There are so many things that you need to consider because nursing homes etc have strict regulations , as they should , due to the highly vulnerable nature if their residents and their medical needs . Someone once asked me if I cuddle my hospice patients , and seemed surprised that I don't . It's a nice bubble the cuddle world lives in , however sometimes it seems to make some people oblivious to the fact that there is decorum and appropriate behaviors regarding all of this . You have to live within reality , and do what is reasonable, regardless of how nifty you think it is to cuddle.
@BoomerSpooner that seniorsnuggle website and the founder’s story is so inspiring!!!
She is actually here in Denver. 💗🩷💜
I love her business that helps train people about being cuddly etc. AND it would be fun to see spaces pop up inside facilities so more people could be helped by having healing touch. Like consent workshops or even a pro massage therapist/cuddler on site who is equipped to deal with all those late life issues.
What I find interesting is not that many people have the desire to be the ones HELPING older people feel better as opposed to how many people want to take advantage of them in their declining position. (I.e. those that want to connect/get to know someone at the end of their life in order to be left in their will etc.)
To go and spread a little love in a facility for the elderly is good for the soul, but I don’t think I would be trying to find mutual cuddling experiences in that realm.
I’m not sure what my heart is trying to say, but care for the elderly FEELS different than trying to “get inside info because I need more cuddles.”
In my days working as an aide I once cuddled with an old lady who was screaming and hallucinating. Had asked the nurse to give her something to calm her down but had no orders for meds. It did calm her down. And I remember thinking wow I hope no nurse sees me in here and gets me fired.. nursing homes can be hell. I both do and don't miss doing that kind of work.
Actually, when I mentioned senior facilities I was thinking more in terms of more ambulatory and capable people. My mother was in one such facility, and although more palliative care was available, the majority were fully capable of making their own decisions and managing their affairs. Having said that, many were also desperately lonely. These were the ones I was wondering about.
@1_teddybear Maybe more of a retirement home type place than a nursing home type facility?
@LadyVel Thank you for the clarification.
@coregulate - just commenting to say i really like the name you chose on here 🎯
It seems like a very needed service. Yes, there would be some inconveniences like oxygen tanks, diapers and other challenges. It's might not be the ideal situation for a professional cuddler, but it should be about providing a needed service to the client, not what's convenient for the professional.
The professional would have to manage various aspects appropriately. The big ones I could think of would be getting certified and working with the staff to get them on board and see that this is needed companionship and physical touch. I also think it would be important to not take advantage of any clients. It may make sense to consult with the family members of the client first. If not, the family could see it as the client wasting all their money with the professional. I think keeping prices low would be important too, as most people view professional cuddler prices of 100 or 200 an hour as outrageous. (I am not saying they shoudn't be that high for the general population. In most cases I think people can set whatever price they want.) But if you charge 100 or 200 an hour to cuddle with an elderly person in a nursing home you are going to get labeled as someone taking advantage of others.
I do think this is something that has the potential to benefit a lot of people. I am curious if anyone is already doing anything like this.
There are way too many reasons why it's not a good idea to try to go to nursing facilities to cuddle people . Physical debility, chronic co morbid conditions , cognitive impairment making consent null in void , fall risk , skin tear risk , bruising risk, brittle bones , heart and lung issues , vulnerable for exploitation, family and staff dynamics,.not to mention state and federal regulations and guidelines for safe and ethical standards of practice in nursing facilities .
We can't live in an awe that's so sweet romanticized bubble where the only thing that matters is what we think would be nice to do . You can't forsake logic and common sense with this stuff .
Logic and common sense. I like it. There have been so many threads where this quote would have been perfect to pull out like a Wild Draw Four card.
Logic and common sense; not rainbows and unicorn farts.
I'm keeping this for future reference.
@coregulate Your story us one of the most heartwarming I've heard. I cuddled an 86 year old until her dying day and there has been little in my life that ever compared. Her daughter called when they took Anita off life support for one last hand hold. Anita knew it was me. The daughter never believed it was platonic and rejected me after her mother died. Society has a lot of catching up do with us kinesthetic, tactile, physical touch or multi-sensory types. I love your post!
How in the world did STIs come into the mix. No one is having sex on intimate contact with anyone.
Anyway, this could be another reason to explore non-cuddle contact. Something like hold hands, touching arms, touching or brushing hair.
@coregulate I was an aide for a while too. One of my favorite residents would see me walking by her room in the middle of the night and say "I can't sleep. Would you come lay with me?" So I would go in and sit on the edge of her bed and lean against her pillow and "lay" there with her til she fell back asleep. Sometimes they just need a little extra TLC and it's unfortunate that they're typically unable to get it.
After reading this post, I might want to die before I get to that point… oh Boy that was hard to read