Vetting Requirements

I_am_Polylover

I ran across a set of vetting requirements on a woman's profile, and told her if she didn't post them to the forum, that I would. She said go ahead, so I am posting them, but I am hoping that she steps forward to take credit for them.  Personally, I think they are both very safe and very reasonable.  From this point on, everything is quoted from her.
♥Jim

These are my vetting requirements for cuddling - please read through and
carefully consider before contacting me. this is to ensure my safety
(and yours!)



1. We will exchange messages a few times before meeting.



2. In order to meet, I will need your real name and a phone number.



3. Public meeting - a side hug cuddle (such as sitting on a park bench or at a restaurant or movie theater)



4. My touching boundaries must be respected.



5. I will not host anyone until we have met a few times as outlined above.



6. All my connections will be discussed with my partner (in a relationship but not co habitating)





Thanks for reading and happy cuddling!

I_am_Polylover

I think her spaces got exaggerated.
♥Jim

Only part I would be skeptical of is giving out phone and real name as at that point I would not know hers as well. I am guessing she is not posting hers.

I_am_Polylover

Then I suggest you adopt her vetting requirements as well.  I see no reason they shouldn't work both ways.
♥Jim

quietman775

@navyvet76 I'm with you on that one.  I believe in parity -- having both parties on equal footing.  One thing that @I_am_Polylover did not make clear is whether or not this woman  has the pro tag. That makes a difference, because a pro is in the business of providing cuddles. Insisting on meeting "a few times" for public cuddles, presumably at the client's expense, does not seem reasonable to me in that context. On the other hand, if a non-paid cuddle companion in search of one or two cuddle buddies needed a series of public meetings to feel comfortable having someone over (similar to online dating), that seems reasonable enough.

In the age of disposable cell phones and Google Voice numbers,getting a phone number isn't meaningful. It doesn't add to anyone's security.

As for wanting a real name, (whether pro or amateur) that's fine, as long as I'm given hers at the same time. If she's going to remain "I_luv_cuddles" (or something), but still want real ID from me, that won't fly. I've seen at least one profile here where a professional cuddler demands photo ID at the start of each session. It does make me wonder if she is willing to show the client hers.

I_am_Polylover

@quietman775  She is not a pro, but that doesn't matter since the point I was trying to get across is that this is a good set of vetting requirements for anyone.  See my response to navyvet76.

I_am_Polylover, my thought are pretty much the same as hers except the real name name on phone number part.  As @quietman775 a phone number can be faked and even a name. I just reported a pro who contacted me unsolicited asking for my phone number.   Communication is to be on here for our protection, that way there is a clear record of what was agreed upon.

quietman775

I don't think it would work well for pros at all. Clients aren't going to want to pay the going rate for a side-hug cuddle on a park bench --- and do this "a few" times --- in hopes of eventually graduating to a regular cuddle session.  And that graduation might never come if the pro can keep her sales funnel filled with a sufficient number of hopeful prospects. The primary thing that has kept me seeing pros by default over these last few years is the fact that, in general, there are fewer hoops to jump through. If meeting a pro becomes as much of a  pas de deux as meeting a fellow amateur enthusiast, the business will dry up.

For non pros? Whatever makes people happy. I myself don't need quite that much information to feel comfortable meeting someone, at least most of the time. Who knows; maybe I should.

true to each their own. @quietman.  I may want to clarify the main part I agreed with in the rules was being in public for the first few meetings, pro or not it would not matter to about meeting in public. 

lordfarquat

Won't work for pro cuddling. 
Many pros don't like giving real name and phone number and no way client should be the only one doing it.   But it's a good effort and might work for casual non professional situations.   

As a pro cuddler, I will say that though I don't have any vetting rules posted, I do in fact message a potential client a few times before accepting them as a client.

I do give my real name within a couple of message rounds. I see no reason why not to. If I trust a client enough to go to their home or have them in mine, I expect real names to be exchanged.

I agree with those that have said the above-listed vetting rules would not work at all with pros (I haven't yet had a client request a public cuddle, for example) but may work with amateur cuddlers.

Hmm interesting, Starlight.  After my previous experience I doubt I would ever go to a cuddler pro or nots house or have them to mine. That is for purely safety reasons.  i would only meet in public. I am a little surprised you think that is only for non pro cuddlers.  Not that you have to, i just find it interesting.

Morpheus

"1. We will exchange messages a few times before meeting."

-This generally always happens.

"2. In order to meet, I will need your real name and a phone number."

- I am a true believer in honesty. Dishonesty carries a negative energy that I want no part of. I want to know the truth about my cuddle buddy whether she be a pro or non pro this means real name, real age etc If there is any information she doesn't want to share, I would rather she let me know that's personal information that she would rather not share than to lie about it.

"3. Public meeting - a side hug cuddle (such as sitting on a park bench or at a restaurant or movie theater)"

-I am willing to do this and will pay for whatever we do together but if this is requested by a pro, the client shouldn't have to pay for the public meeting time.

"4. My touching boundaries must be respected."

-All boundaries should be respected by both parties, not just touching boundaries.

"5. I will not host anyone until we have met a few times as outlined above."

-I would rather cuddler at my place anyway.

"6. All my connections will be discussed with my partner (in a relationship but not cohabitating).

-Refer to what I said above about honesty.

mellow

I just read a profile that fits the description posted by the thread starter and it states that she will not host until she has met her potential cuddle buddies a few times on an outdoor setting. She is a Pro cuddler and her profile says that she hosts so I wonder if a prospective client has to meet her a few times outdoors (park, coffee place, etc) then does he have to pay for all those sessions? I would ask her but she is not in my area but I think it poses interesting questions. She is in Colorado.

Morpheus

If meeting publicly is that the request of the pro, then the client should not have to pay for it.  You should be a gentleman though and pay for her lunch/dinner and/or coffee.

This is a pretty solid way of getting out the potential unwanted cuddle buddies, with caution to the real name and phone number. From what @I_am_Polylover stated, the individual is not a professional, and I will assume the poster is looking for a long term cuddle partner.

While every requirement could be countered with social engineering, and free services provided by Google to hide your real phone number, making anything more complicated will redirect people from putting in the effort. Being lazy is something everyone can do. Putting in effort is not.

When individuals have good Karma, then I think the vetting can be more relaxed. As the poster could contact the individuals supplying the Karma to find out more about the person to be cuddling with. The karma systems shows a reputation of behavior and attitudes.

I understand the concern with sharing your real name and phone number with someone before cuddling. After all, scammers ask for your real name and phone number on their first message as well. I had someone contact me recently asking for this information. When I refused to provide that information, this account then stopped messaging me, and later, was banned.

Then, you also have to make sure that the person you are meeting with in public is also genuine. Dating websites warn users of social engineering attack methods where people meet in person on a first date, and only talk about the topics that could potentially be the answers to challenge questions to recover passwords on websites: Talking about pets, your height, how old you are, where you went to school, your astral zodiac sign, Chinese zodiac animal, your favorite movie, favorite tv show, your grandparents, playing those Facebook games that use your birth month and day to come up with a silly name, and such.

So, this certainly is a nice start, but I would not recommend sharing your personal information before meeting in public a few times.

As a rule, if someone asks for your phone number, name, or email address in their first message to you, do NOT supply it.

I_am_Polylover

@mellow  You are talking about a different person.

Most of the time, I get phone numbers offered to me, and names are given in tbe course of conversation before I accept someone as a client. I don't feel the need to ask this in my profile.

@navyvet76 You are 1 in a million who only does public cuddles--and I understand your reasoning. I was only stating my personal experience of never having been specifically asked for one. If I had a client who wanted to have a public cuddle, I would be fine with that (and I think any pro cuddler would).

@sudoCuddle Good rule about being asked personal info in the first message--except for the name...why not give your first name?

In my first message , to the potential cuddle buddie , I would prefer that numbers 3, and 6 be combined , i.e. I would like to meet the boyfriend , not to cuddle , but I figure paths would cross , between the boyfriend and  her cuddle friend , so , I figure sooner is better .

C8H7N3O2

I don't see anything wrong or odd about these. If that user is requesting this info upfront then maybe, but as the conversation goes on I would hope that such transparency would be reciprocal. Imho I feel that one should get to know the potential cuddler -even a little- beforehand.

Everyone has their own set of rules and level of comfort.

While I definitely require some level of trust with my Cuddler I have no desire or need to meet my Cuddler's partner. That's their relationship which I view as personal, as opposed to myself and the Cuddler which I view as professional. I don't know why or when I would ever cross paths with my Cuddler's partner.

Some Cuddlers I've spoken with don't even want their partners to know which is fine by me.  I'm ok with about half of the requests in the opening post.  Not everyone's vibe is going to match up.  Thank goodness there is plenty of variety! YAY!