When you go out with friends or family, how do you handle the check/bill? Do you just always pay? Do you ask for separate checks? Do you get one check, itemize and pay your share? Do you divide it up evenly regardless of what people have ordered?
With the people I’m with often like co workers, we alternate. My boss always insists on paying to the point it feels uncomfortable like dude you need to let us treat you once in awhile. He literally buys us Starbucks every day. With my wife and daughter, I always pay. Then there are those people that when the check comes, they seem to vanish. I think it’s all about the time you’re having together and enjoying each others company but I’m still curious how you all handle it.
When it's my turn to pay, I:
In East Asian or Chinese culture, being formal and polite is like next level. Some folks will always insist on paying, and some folks will always fight for the bill. Survival of the politest as Darwin would say.
I'm as sneaky as @Minestrone101, intercepting the bill and sneaking in my CC on a "bathroom trip." It's exceptionally rare for me to not pay.
@starrynitecuds so when we get dinner do I get to pick the place then 😂
I am constantly taking my business clients to dinner, drinks and/or entertainment so I am conditioned to paying.
I tried to sneak the check the other day when I was with some coworkers but it was intercepted and someone else paid 🤷🏻♂️
And actually the only awkwardness that comes in is that blurry line of saying no. I once took a Swedish architect who was a client out in Vegas. We started with dinner at the Mandalay Bay. He asked the hostess what the most expensive bottle of wine they had in house. The waitress said they had one that depending on the year a bottle could run anywhere from $30,000 to $80,000 because the lady who ran the winery would sometimes destroy the whole stock of a season if she deemed it inferior which effectively drives up the cost of the next season that is introduced. I immediately told him I cannot comp that purchase. He said he wanted to see it just to see it. When she came back he asked to hold the bottle. She made him sign a waiver saying he was responsible for any damages or opening of the bottle. He signed and turned to me and said in his thick Swedish accent “I hope I spelved your name right.” I asked the waitress and it was his name on the waiver thank goodness.
Editing due to content [netrunner]
Long story short—he continued to use us as he always did but he would never go to dinner with me again and at industry functions he would refer to me as a Norwegian milk maid prude in front of others. But karma never stays away long as he was eventually caught messing with one of the designers at his company and his wife (the company VP) divorced him, took half of the highly successful company located in Los Angeles and he f’d off back to a Stockholm suburb.
And for the record I am not Norwegian at all. Not even a drop.
@BoomerSpooner that guys sounds kinda obnoxious. We had a team meeting recently and my boss said he would buy us lunch after the meeting. I asked how much he was allowed to put on the company card. He said $25 per person for team meetings. The money he is alloted for these meetings is meant more for pizza or coffee and pastries but his thought was, we’ll go out after and he said he would pay out of pocket for anything above the $25 per person. Knowing he had that budget, I purposely stayed below $25 but several of the other employees went well above. I felt like they were being obnoxious and taking advantage.
Also, we are not allowed to purchases alcohol on company cards but there are way around that. We also can’t charge anything at places like strip clubs, even bars are frowned upon even if they serve food.
I prefer to itemize or split the check when out with friends
I’ll usually pay for my parents
Well if I invite someone to join me for dinner, which is very rare that I do. Then I will pay for both of us. 😊
The same if I invite someone to join me to go to a concert, a movie, a party, sporting event or any other place of entertainment. 🕺💃Then yes, I will pay for them and myself. 😊
Now there are occasions where I'm first time meeting a new cuddler, and we both agree to meet up somewhere public like a restaurant or bar (before cuddling happens at my house) to break the ice and make sure that VISUALLY we are who we say we are. I will always strongly suggests "going Dutch" many of them are alright with Dutch. 😊 I prefer Dutch, even if said new cuddler offers to pay for my meal (only 2 ever did upon first meeting). Depending on my how "spidey senses" are with said new cuddler, I still will firmly yet politely decline their offer and still pay for my own meal anyway.😊
Yeah, I'm stubbornly independent. Lol😜😁
My grain of salt on this discussion:
@ Morpheus yes he was completely obnoxious and very full of himself. I cried no tears that his American dream flamed out.
This post makes me think of a long time ago when I waited tables during college. A big group of people would come in…there weren’t credit cards at that point, it was always cash. You could even write a check, believe it or not, at a restaurant. Anyway, the tab was given to the guy on the end - everybody passed their cash down to him. And they would include a tip, I’m pretty sure. He then added up all the cash and took out the amount for the bill, and then I watched him put the remainder of the money into his pocket I was just in shock, but I couldn’t say anything He threw in a $1 tip likely but he made a profit there off of his coworkers’ money and it made me sick. This was not unusual. I saw it happen multiple times. I always prefer to pay my own way. I don’t want to feel obligated to anyone. I’m a generous tipper, I want to be sure it goes to the server!
As far as the how of splitting the bill, many restaurant tills have it built into their systems to easily divide up tables by chairs/groups of chairs/etc. It makes it simple for doing separate checks without them having to manually ring up each order separately. Often times when out with larger groups the wait staff will offer to divide the check when taking your order if they have that capability, but you can also ask them how much of a bother it would be.
These days apps like Venmo, CashApp, and Zelle make it really easy to just have one person pay the bill and then everyone else pay them back. It takes the hassle out of it and allows folks to handle it when the socializing is done.
I always expect to pay but when the server asks if it's one bill or separate I let my friends answer 😂 most of the time my friends will pay for me. I do have one friend though that will text me and say "_______ for dinner?" And I know I'll never have to pay with them.