So, my situation is pretty uncommon. In my soul I'm a driven, energetic, active and spontaneous person, but the body I happen to inhabit is...not 😅 My different levels of disability are disabling (shocker, I know) me in many ways that I genuinely have no control over, and that sucks. And usually I can handle that more or less, it's not fun of course, and it's galling to say the least to be unable to live the life that would best fulfill me, but I'm a coping strategy master, and I often find satisfaction in my more accessible interests.
But, sometimes, seemingly at random and out of the blue, the juxtaposition of my lived reality and the life I could have had if I were dealt a different hand that would have fit me so much better becomes overwhelmingly depressing. And, as we all know, one of the best treatments for depressing things is connection. Talking to friends and family, being held by people we know and trust, laughing, crying, complaining and just...connecting with people who understand and getting that basic reassurance that we all want, that we are not alone.
I'm sure many of you on here can relate to that desire, and how difficult it is to be without it.
And this evening is one of those "out of the blue" times when I miss that kind of connection and support to get through the rough bit 🤷🏼
Unfortunately, my options in that area are incurably limited once again by my disabilities. 😅 I'm immunocompromised, I'm cut off from my friends and loved ones because of their risk levels to my weak immune system, and right now I really can't go anywhere because of my symptoms, so I am solidly stuck in isolation. So, here I am talking about it online when what I really need is a good long supportive cuddle 😂
I do know the heaviest bit of this feeling will pass before too long, so that's good, just gotta keep on trucken as always. Shit just sucks right now.
I hope if anyone else is feelin' this same way that we'll all get through it soon and find that connection we all come here looking for 🤘🏻☺️