So my friend signed up to be a pro a was charged a 19.99 fee...???... do guys have to pay to be pro... how do I find the mods ?
Yes that’s correct
Male pros pay that fee $19.99 per month. Female pros pay fees only per booked sessions of 15%, to the site.
There's a very simple, and socially-acceptable workaround for that.
➵ TxTom ☣️ toxically positive 🐄💨 pro-cow farting 🤓 cuddle nerd
So male pros get charged before they even get a booking? Kind of dumb. What if they don't get a single booking within the month? Why not charge them a lower rate like 5% or 7.5% instead of a fixed $20/mo?
It’s different for men because the amount of cuddles they get is far FAR lower than women, so it is a compromise so the site earns money while they are able to book sessions without having to pay a percentage of their earnings.
I think most do not get cuddles so they quit fairly quickly. Men are much more willing to pay for cuddles than women are.
Also asking mods won’t help. We are volunteers and have nothing to do with how the site operates.
https://www.cuddlecomfort.com/forum/discussion/5967/why-do-male-professionals-pay-a-monthly-subscription/p1
~ Sunset Snuggles
🦄 Enthusiast 🏞 Travel Fiend 🐘 Animal Lover
I love the concept of this site, but it’s things like this that really disappoint me. There’s a hurdle that most men will not jump to become pro cuddlers.
Is cuddling an important, caring, uplifting service, or just another way to make money, in an almost purely transactional way?
I think it would be a great service if you had an abundance of male pro cuddlers who cuddle all genders. By demand, they would most likely charge lower rates than the average female pro rate. (Because the demand for it is lower) Thus, making it more affordable for people to experience cuddling.
Very few men sign up, because there’s a monthly fee up front. It takes months, if not years to build trust and rapport with clients. Also, if you had more pro men in the field, it would drive down demand for women, particularly those who charge $100+ per hour.
In the end, it’s not as financially profitable to have male cuddlers in the field. They would make less money and their prevalence would cause women to make less, resulting in lower profit margins for all parties. There’s no incentive.
Essentially, women are paid generously to cuddle, but men have to pay, just to cuddle in the first place, even if they want to try to provide it themselves.
With that said, the site is established. I don’t see how or why there’s a “great cost” at giving people “pro” credentials. Especially since virtually any woman who wants to become pro can do so with little to no training or experience. We already know that non pro pro females are an ever growing problem on here, so almost nothing matters when it comes to labels.
Five years here, logging in and interacting almost every single day, and a total of two cuddle experiences. It’s not really a site for enthusiasts anymore. I don’t think it has been for a long time. (Aside from the few exceptions to the rule)
...if you had more pro men in the field, it would drive down demand for women...
Not true.
@quincyq03 much of what you are saying is true, but it’s also been the nature of things since the caveman first started using clubs. But you can either complain and nothing happens, design a better mousetrap or start your own site. Those are pretty much the choices. No one said that life was perfect.
How would having more pro men drive down the demand for woman? This makes zero sense. Guys looking for female cuddlers aren’t just going to compromise and cuddle men bc they charge less.
@quincyq03 Males already do charge lower rates. Whether high or low, most male Pro's I've stumbled across have zero Karma, or one or two from gay men. When told that cuddling men would increase their income, most balk, because they are straight and have no interest, if not a flat-out aversion, to the idea.
I'm not sure why few men sign up as Pro's. We don't know if it's due to the monthly fee. It could be because the industry doesn't appeal to them the way it does to women. It could be because of toxic masculinity telling them they need to be something other than nurturers. It could be they have established careers and have no desire or need to seek side-gig income.
@quincyq03 posted: "women are paid generously to cuddle, but men have to pay, just to cuddle in the first place, even if they want to try to provide it themselves."
This is true, and this mimics the dating world; heck, even the drinking world...women get into bars and clubs for free, while men have to pay. This isn't a cuddling problem, it's a cultural issue.
Anyway, I fully agree with you that it's unfair, and frankly, sexist, that men have to pay monthly here, while women do not. It seems clearly about profit, yes. Feels very wrong. I would also argue from the opposite end...it's unfair, and frankly, sexist, that women have to give up 15% of every single cuddle, while men do not. If women paid the flat fee each month, they would keep much, much more of their earnings. Just one cuddle percentage nearly equates to the flat fee, so imagine how much money the women are losing here, because of this gender-based structure. So again, we're back to company profit, and I find it very disappointing.
However, based on the low demand for the male Pro's that do exist, I don't believe changing the fee structure would make much of a difference at all, in regards to them being profitable. If it would, those dedicated few would be making bank due to their rarity, and that's just not the way it is.
Alternative view: male pros pay $20/month regardless of number of sessions they book, incentivizing them to book more clients, perhaps broaden their client base and not just try to serve women which would lead them to not getting much business. Female pros pay a percentage of every session, so there's no built-in incentive to book more sessions - the percentage paid out is always the same. A male pro could end up making a much better profit margin than a female pro if worked smarter, not harder, and there's a few successful male cuddlers around who prove this point quite well.
@cuddlefaery
@ or it didn't happen. 😉 I can't think of any.
But yes, if there was a market for it, they would come out on top.
...But then the percentage structure would be put in play for them, too. 😅
Why is something being transactional a bad things, or just the mention of money? People need money to survive. Sure, I like doing what I do for work, but I really like getting paid for it because it allows me to live comfortably and pay for the things.
@unsocial_bee I know some artists who kept getting asked to do things for free, with the asker mentioning exposure as a possible benefit. I loved their response, “You know you can die from exposure?”
@unsocial_bee
Why is something being transactional a bad things, or just the mention of money?
Good question. Humans have been transactional in some form, one way or another, since we've been on this Earth.
@TxTom Nothing's truly free, almost everything has a cost
If the male pros only have to pay the monthly fee and not the 15 percent on top of it I think they are getting a sweet deal.
@pty1999 - Yeah but they get almost no bookings so they are paying the fee every month but not making anything.
Yes, Pro men pay a set monthly fee regardless of any sessions but if they are actually successful at booking an average of $134+ / month in sessions, they end up paying way less in fees than pro women.
Once pro women make $134+ in a month, they are paying more in fees than pro men do.
It’s sexist and I don’t feel bad about voicing my opinion anymore. Most people even seem to agree with this opinion. The site knows that men are extremely unlikely to be successful as cuddlers and it deters (the vast majority of) men from going pro.
You can’t say men and women are equal, then say men should pay upfront because there’s not market demand (inequality), then in the same breath say that men can realistically make much more than women with the setup (theoretical, unproven inequality).
The site has a financial incentive to set up the rates such that they can make the most profit. If men were going to make so much more than women, they’d change the setup immediately.
It’s not going to change, but I could understand a one time fee and then the same % rate. Or simply just charge a higher rate of commission.
Women can go pro, never book an official session and they don’t have to pay a dime. We know a lot of them make money via being a “non pro, pro” or by asking for other additional surcharges, tips, etc.
Does anyone have stats on what the average pro female cuddler makes per month vs male pro cuddlers? Or how many male pro cuddlers remain active?
The analogy with auto insurance in the site FAQ is total rubbish. Auto insurance rates vary, but it’s a still a rate for both genders.
The setup discourages men from going pro. Except for the very rare outlier cases, which some have eluded to are gay men. Which make up a tiny fraction of men.
Is the premise of cuddling strictly profit-driven, or is it really the important, compassionate service that one shares out of the kindness of their heart?
@MonkeyNeedsAHug I hate when people do that! Artists have bills and responsibilities too.
Everyone has bills to pay and if they choose to charge for what they do, why shouldn't they get paid for it? If they were going to a 9-5 job they would get paid. Just because someone might view or classify what they do as a charitable or noble cause doesn't mean that the person charging feels that way or should feel that way. Some people volunteer while others may charge for the same or more detailed service. Doesn't always mean one person is better than the other or wrong because they decided to charge. I'm just tired of this argument. If people are so against people charging for cuddles or this website then they can find a significant other, which that in and of itself will involve transactions. Even if they bet a friend to cuddle, there's time, energy, gas in their vehicle that is all spent to make the cuddle time happen. That's the bare minimum. Everything thing is a transaction, even if it's given freely.
I don't understand why the monthly fee discourages men from going pro. On the list of reasons why I wouldn't go pro, it's pretty far down that list.
Sure, the crossover in cost between male pros and female pros is revenue of $134/month, but the break-even amount for a male pro is $20/month. What this means is that if, as a male pro, you believed that you could bring in at least $20/month (or, like 4 $60 sessions per year, which in my area, $60 seems to be about average for male pros), then becoming a pro is a wash financially. At that point, you could weigh the pros and cons of being a pro without regard to finances.
So lets assume that male pros were charged like female pros, but the male pro could only book 3 sessions (or less) per year. Why bother? What would be the advantage of being a pro at that point? It can't be the $150/year. That's such a small amount of money that I can't see it being worth the effort.
If, on the other hand, the male pro feels that they could do a lot better, like 1 session per month, then the monthly fee starts becoming much less significant.
To summarize: If a male pro can't bring in enough to easily cover the fee, then even if the fee wasn't there, it wouldn't be worth the effort to be a pro.
@quincyq03 There are all kinds of reasons that there are "differences" in the genders, but I wouldn't say it's a civil rights or human rights issue unless it's legal vs. a socialization issue. Here are some examples of situational circumstances or social conventions that can be seen as "inequality":
So, when talking about certain situational or social conventions, I don't think it's fair to be upset with one gender or another lest they created the system in which we all live in. Would you "trade" 35% of STEM jobs and getting 40-50% more sexual assaults or more r*pes for more cuddle opportunities and a men's night at the bar?
I think those kinds of standards are not fair to cast on an entire gender when both genders have their privileges and disadvantages in society. Surely, it's not "women's fault" that their demand for cuddling is higher nor that they are more expressive emotionally and with touch overall.
With the difference in clientele for men vs. women cuddlers, women in general will make more (due to the demand that's listed above), but it was noted that men pro cuddlers have a better chance over time to have less % of their total revenue taken from CC per month (but women in general, will still make more revenue and profit as a whole).
So these kinds of points of views can only be fair if we try to reach for the root cause of issues vs. scapegoating or venting about a gender. E.g. -
Those are my thoughts. Women didn't create the system nor did men (though men definitely have historically have had more of a hand in influencing society). That's it. Have a good evening people.
It makes sense. First the site has to make money somehow. But also, it's just the nature of things. I imagine It probably weeds out less than ideal candidates and brings in men who are more serious about it. Also it surely lessens the amount of pro males on the site, which mitigates the disparity between the total amount of men to women. Typically men greatly outweigh the amount of women on sites that try to connect them in some way.
If you're not able to recoup your fee in profit than it obviously wasn't meant to be anyway.
I think that while it might seem unfair at first glance (like many gender differences), there could be a few reasons behind these differences.
Firstly, it's important to recognize that the site may be implementing these fees based on market demand and gender dynamics. Historically, there has been a higher demand for female professional cuddlers, which could explain why the site chooses to subsidize their fees in order to attract more women to join as cuddlers.
Additionally, the site may be aiming to address safety concerns and maintain a balance between male and female members. By requiring men to pay an upfront fee, the site may be implementing an extra layer of screening to ensure that individuals are serious about becoming professional cuddlers and are committed to upholding the site's standards and guidelines.
It's also worth considering that the site may be using these fee structures as a way to address the gender pay gap and promote gender equality in the cuddling industry. By offering women a lower barrier to entry, the site could be providing them with greater opportunities to earn income through cuddling services.
Ultimately, while the differences in fees may seem unequal on the surface, they could be reflective of broader societal factors and market dynamics.
@quincyq03
It’s sexist and I don’t feel bad about voicing my opinion anymore.
I disagree. I don't think the pay structure difference is sexist. There will always be certain things that benefit women and other things that benefit men. There's nothing wrong with that.
I would try going the Pro route, myself, if it wasn't for the requirement to cuddle everyone. But I also recognize that I would likely lose money every month I maintained my Pro status due to lack of clients.
That doesn't upset me, it's just the way it is.
In fact, I've suggested a while ago, on another thread somewhere, that I think as female Pros increase the size of their client pool and Karma, that their 15% fee ought to be gradually reduced.
@quincyq03 It’s sexist and I don’t feel bad about voicing my opinion anymore. Most people even seem to agree with this opinion. The site knows that men are extremely unlikely to be successful as cuddlers and it deters (the vast majority of) men from going pro. You should voice your opinion. But keep in mind that everyone can have an opinion too and so sometimes you will run into those who agree with you and some who don't. I think Ibhappen to fall in the middle this time lol. Yes, the site knows men won't be as succesful as women at being pros. It is just a fact but men shouldn't see it as a roadblock that should stop them. I was scared being a pro because females are less likely to defend themselves as well as men in certain situations. So safety was my roadblock. But I overcame it to tell my clients it is only public cuddles. Did I lose some possible clients over this? I did actually, but it is how it is. Sure I have some who are no longer public cleints anymore because I feel safe with certain clients now. But point is I had a roadblock and I planned a way to overcome it. Men will have a roadblock too and they must overcome it. Otherwise some females will not go pro because of safety and some males will not go pro for $20. Personally, I think women would pay $20 no problem if it guarantees safety. I will also remove the public from my profile then. I actually think I prefer paying $20 a month even without that since it is less than what I need to pay but I will keep the public still in that case. That is a permanent roadblock for me.
@TxTom In fact, I've suggested a while ago, on another thread somewhere, that I think as female Pros increase the size of their client pool and Karma, that their 15% fee ought to be gradually reduced
I would love this. Plus almost all my cuddlers are repeat clients as my karma shows. But no. And there seems to be a new international fee now or something that I pay.