Cuddle contract of consent

Cuddlingforlife

Hello. I know pros have a way of creating a form or rules, like a contract for consent. But I am curious for all the enthusiasts who dont have this as an option prior to a cuddle.

Would YOU want to have a cuddle contract created, filled out prior to cuddling? A contract per se, listing a a set of rules, boundaries and whatever else you expect in your cuddle session.

Yes, my lawyer types one up for me for each time I cuddle and then I have my cuddler sign in blood

I think this is a perfectly reasonable thing to do if it helps make expectations clear for all parties, and I would not run away if presented with such.

I always have a conversation about consent, wants/needs, and limits before any close personal contact.

I don't think it's a bad idea, but I can already hear people saying it will "ruin the vibe."

starrynitecuds

No. Contracts are a business arrangement, enthusiast cuddling isn't a business.

Homemade contracts are rarely credible legal documents. Incorrect spelling, punctuation or grammar can easily render it worthless paper. Typos are unacceptable in a contract.

As an enthusiast, I'm not getting paid, so what can I sue for? Money? I'm not a pro. File a police report? He said/she said. Prosecutors decide if there's charges filed, not cuddlers. Complain to admin here? He said, she said.

I have seen a "contract" supplied to a client by a pro here, and it was a joke. The pro had no legal personal or legal business name listed, identifying info was ONLY for the client. Contracts are btwn at least 2 LEGALLY named parties. Already not legal and unenforceable. AKA worthless.

Notacat1

If what you put in your bio isn’t clear on what your boundaries and thoughts on consent are, then I don’t think writing up a contract is going to be any different. Might as well also have them watch a 30 minute training on consent within the “cuddle-space” lol

pmvines

Holy over complicating simplicity Batman

Runawaycuddles

I'm guessing pro's "contracts" are just a quicker way of laying down specific boundaries than having that info transferred through a normal conversation. It's likely not legally binding at all, just kinda a "keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times" sorta thing so the info gets shared and agreed to. 🤷🏼

Idk if you've ever tried laying down specific boundaries and rules for 1v1 cuddling, but most people tend to see it more as a conversation than a set of rules, so using a contract format makes a lot of sense even just for efficiency.

One thing it can also help with is if things do go south it's clear proof to the CC admins that the client crossed a line. It doesn't take a lawyer to kick someone off this site, so the more clear, concise information the pro can get, the better.

Pretty sure it's not meant to be something you sue for. But it prevents either person from saying, "Oh, I had no idea that was against the rules."

Solaris

If a woman gave me one, I'd be fine with it. Even relieved. I like things clear.

ReltvlyCanshes

I think it's a great idea if it makes everyone feel safe. But it's also a reason i wouldn't do this anymore. I myself avoid contracts and only sign when necessary. This would be a reason i myself would deem unnecessary and unattractive. But i wouldn't discourage anyone if it makes them feel safe or whatever they need, but it does the exact opposite for me so i think that be one step to far.

I mean. i already get reminded what a piece of trash i am because of what's in my pants and also what's none of anyone platonic business. I dont need to sign a piece of paper and confirm it.

I guess I see it less as a contract than an acknowledgment. It's the equivalent of checking a box on a website like this to confirm you have read the TOS and will abide by them. And there's no reason, if you have particular boundaries you want respected that aren't listed, that you can't add them to the document.

biancalovecraft

There's already a contract in place when you message a provider here, we have one too, and everyone has agreed to it, whether they acknowledge it or not. It's a minimum expectation of behavior, but if a pro wants to add a quirky addendum ei, if you touch my belly button, the session is over, guess what, they can enforce that.
Scary the dismissive attitudes here when a thriving cuddle community can only exist because of pronounced respect and sensitivity to boundaries.
If I'm taking a booking and am asked "what are your boundaries" the conversation is over.

ReltvlyCanshes

@WriterGF i would check a box on a site or an app. Not DocuSign or anything but agreeing to TOS for each cuddle is fine.

starrynitecuds

@WriterGF , it was supposed to be a contract, as it discussed payment, deposits and non refundable charges. As it didn't have a second legal party listed, it was as worthless as @pmvines used toilet paper.

TxTom

Our humanity is gradually slipping away.

We're just units now. Interchangeable units to be categorized, labeled, and filed.

Morpheus

I know this wasn’t the question but any rules that a pro cuddler states, do not supersede the rules stated by cuddlecomfort. For example, if in her bio, a pro states that you have to pay half the session if you cancel less than 48 hours of the session, a client would only be responsible for paying half if they cancelled within 12 hours of the session which is what the cuddlecomfort terms of service state.

@starrynitecuds The OP was referring to an agreement between enthusiasts, and that is what I am responding to. You seem to be discussing an agreement involving a pro.

Sooson

I don't think it's a bad idea, but I can already hear people saying it will "ruin the vibe."

Because it will, and that is an important consideration.
Although in reality the more appealing you are to the potential partner the more likely they are to cooperate with that ridicules idea, so go for it. For example: I would sign anything to cuddle Gwen Stefani.

Jubal

@btrflyy

Here's an idea for such a contract.

PM messages between enthusiasts:

Enthusiast 1 "I'm going to follow the rules and guidelines given on the cuddle comfort website. Do you agree to do the same?"

Enthusiast 2: "Yes, I agree to do the same."

There's your contract, for whatever it's worth.

@Jubal a wise man once said “Giving and receiving a hug is a very complicated affair.”
@TxTom lol 😂

Minestrone101

I think people can write and say what they want, but the proof is in the pudding. I think a laser should be pointing at the cuddlers, and if someone breaches boundaries then ZAP! Someone is vaporized. *Not that I condone violence, but just saying. I don't think lasers go agst community standards either ...

starrynitecuds

@Jubal that's it in a nutshell. There's so much more discussion, email-text-phone, btwn friends prior to a face-to-face meeting. Enthusiasts cuddling is a 50/50 endeavor. But to make a contract or written agreement? No. There's no monetary transaction happening, no sale to close. The terminology isn't the same. I'm not even agreeing to an amount of time, activity or providing services. Cuddling may not happen if the vibe isn't there in person.

pmvines

@starrynitecuds
I am the goose who laid the golden eggs so I wouldn't say my TP is worthless

Allen1974

I think instead of a contract there should be cuddling clothes that are colored in the appropriate areas. Green for go. Yellow caution. Red stop

Cuddlingforlife

@Jubal. No it isn't that way. I clearly set my boundaries in text and in person BEFORE cuddle time. In the moment, he managed to pushed all boundries beyond my comfort level and into some form of assult. I was pissed. Because i made it very clear. He was asked to leave in 20 min after the cuddle began.

For my own saefty and protection.. I need something better in place, to feel safe. But for now. I am no longer interested.. in cuddling. I like to think my screening process is rather thorough...but I guess I was wrong.

Jubal

@btrflyy I'm sorry you had that experience. But it's doubtful that any additional written agreements etc would make any difference to such a person. You might check on the pro forums for advice on how to possible screen a bit better (although I'm given to understand that screening isn't a guarantee either).

Minestrone101

@Allen1974 I feel 2 year olds know the difference between good and bad touch. Anyone who acts otherwise does so intentionally and hopefully can be weeded out.

ATemporaryUser0

I think a lot of the discourse around consent is pretty strange. The root of the problem is that some people are selfish jerks or, in some cases, worse than that. Signing a contract or requiring people to take a course that treats this as some kind of complicated academic concept or requiring explicit verbal consent for every little touch will do nothing to address the actual problem.

TedEBearCuddler

The comment, above:
"If I'm taking a booking and am asked "what are your boundaries" the conversation is over."
really threw me.

It was my understanding that whenever using this site and making arrangements for a cuddle, we should always ask about boundaries so that everything is clear, up front. That way, you both know what is expected and can have a good experience.

Some people do not want their feet touched, others have an issue with their hair being touched. I thought asking about boundaries was standard practice, and a key factor to using this site. Did I misunderstand? Or am I just using the wrong word? Should I change it to parameters? ... expectations?

Please help a guy out so the conversation isn't over before we can even make plans for a session.

Thanks!