cuddlyDavid doesn't sound cuddly @achetocuddle agreed
He's deactivated his account. Some people are allergic to logic.
@achetocuddle he blocked me yesterday. 😆
Lol, gem, Writer and starry.
If someone ever invents a pill for those allergic to logic they'll make a fortune.
Imo non pro females contact who they want to cuddle. Does no good to cuddle them(most of the time)
Mini pause on popcorn munching to comment...🤚🍿
Out of those 35 I have had 5 replies.
@cuddlyDavid No reply, IS a reply!😁
Resume popcorn munching...
As a pro I find that at times people are confusing what this site caters to. Comparing massages, having friendships with people. This site literally allows you to charge or not charge. And though everyone is entitled to do either or that doesn’t mean you talk down to the people that do. That’s why you have the option to pay or not pay. And if friendships arise from a cuddle session naturally then great, if not it’s strictly a cuddle job. And to be honest enthusiasts and pros alike get weird messages, perverted questions. So at times I don’t respond to messages as well. But to each their own on here. I don’t go sending messages to people I allow those who want to meet me at my rate to message me.
@wilderdude It is a fallacy that Pros don't have predilections. Pros are free to choose who they cuddle, too. They're NOT obligated to cuddle with, or even reply to, everyone who contacts them. Pros are allowed to ghost after receiving a photo of a potential client, no explanation needed. The site doesn't perform random audits to verify there's no discriminatory practices occurring by pros because they maintain that Pros are 100% allowed to choose and decline their own clients.
From AI: "The illusion of not discriminating" can refer to the mistaken belief that one is free of biases or that they treat everyone equally, when in reality, subtle or unconscious forms of discrimination may still be at play. This concept is relevant in discussions about implicit bias, privilege, and social justice.
Even well-intentioned individuals may believe they are not discriminating, but unconscious biases, societal conditioning, or systemic factors can lead to actions or attitudes that are discriminatory. This illusion can prevent people from recognizing the need for self-reflection and growth, making it harder to address underlying prejudices or systemic issues.
It seems @cuddlyDavid has left the building, so he won't see my reply.
But I can understand his frustration...sending a lot of messages, leading to no cuddles...it's unpleasant. Male, female, any human being with feelings would likely agree.
I'm also of his viewpoint that I personally would rather cuddle with non-Pros for a variety of reasons that matter to me, but may not matter to others. Just a preference.
I often see the responses to some questions like his can come with a bit of an attitude, like "You're likely doing something wrong, so you're the problem." Or "You're not entitled to anything, so stop complaining." Even if in some cases that is true, I find these attitudes unhelpful. They don't come across as constructive criticism, just belittling to the author.
The reason we find ourselves on this site is to seek out human connection, due to a lack of it we feel...whatever our situation may be. So to be chastised (I won't say "harassed") in a public forum for simply asking questions and sharing our own viewpoints...feels hypocritical and unsympathetic, considering the audience that is reading these messages.
If I post a public message here and no one responds, that's perfectly fine. I'm "shouting into the void", and no one has to respond unless they have a strong inclination to. But when I decide to write to a unique individual on this site, who I felt appealing enough to open myself up to and ask for a cuddle, it would be -nice- to get some kind of response from them.
Not "required", not "demanded" of them...just nice. No one needs to tell me this opinion is "wrong", because it's not.
@MRyanNYC Nice thoughtful post.
@MRyanNYC The OP has an enthusiast he claims to be having regular cuddles with. He was trying for more. Most men can't even find one enthusiast, so he really had nothing to complain about.
Enthusiasts learn quickly that responding with a "not interested" often does not lead to anything "nice." It leads to angry guys demanding explanations and possible harassment. If major companies don't feel the need to send a "no" to job applications, I don't expect an enthusiast to respond to an unsolicited message.
@MRyanNYC i feel that there are some people on this site some even in this thread that are narcissistic and like to put others down to make themselves look better or look smart. My message to @cuddlyDavid was one of encouragement because I know how some people like to throw stones from their high places
@WriterGF 💯. In addition, the OP was insulting female enthusiasts on this thread repeatedly. I can’t support anyone who hurls insults at female enthusiasts like rude and being devoid of manners when as you pointed out, they are already attacked frequently for replying but not telling male enthusiasts what they want to hear. Can’t be one of those guys that support other guys’ misogyny just so they can make themselves look good in a creepy way.
@MRyanNYC Great post.
Undeniably I would sometimes like to put more effort into replies or perhaps with certain individuals say no thanks but there is no way to know for sure where to apply that extra effort. Some guys, probably a minority, are offended, mad or otherwise by any polite response and women, including me, don't want to wind up engaging the ones who are gonna send a nasty reply to polite no thanks. No woman, even if she had nothing else to do, is gonna reply to every person that messages her knowing that some of her polite turndowns will reward her with some bad guys who send awful replies to politeness. I wish every guy understood this cause I hate to think about them grieving unnecessarily.
It makes me wonder if anyone of any gender responds to every message in their whole life. Do the disgruntled guys who comment on the rudeness of no reply do this? I rather doubt it but would like to know.
Do the disgruntled guys who comment on the rudeness of no reply do this?
I would say no because they are not getting over 100 messages like some women do. Pretty easy for them to say they would when they are dealing with 1 or 2 messages at a time.
So true. But I'm also wondering about how far their politeness goes in general. Do they hold the door or help all genders with heavy packages? If someone misdials them do they politely tell them they have the wrong number or hang up? And do they feel these kinds of manners are less important than all the women in the world answering every message they send? I have wondered about these kinds of things for a long time. Would like to get to know them better and gain understanding, with or without agreement.
Well well, you have been busy slagging me off while I have been away. @achetocuddle I did not tell you do one. That was directed at someone else. And if you have ever been to the UK you will know that is a polite way of saying leave me alone. I enjoyed our chats and had you down as one of the good guys. Obviously not. It seems a lot of people on here have issues with social skills and like to buy friends. Well have fun and enjoy life over the pond! I am out of here again. But thank you @lonelytauros. You rock! @WriterGF The reason I had one good cuddler is that I have good social skills and yes would love more cuddle relationships. This site attracted me because even though I have many friends and I am in a band. I was born with a hormone issue which means sex is difficult if not impossible, I thought I could meet women on here who I could have a fun relationship with without sex rearing it's ugly head. Seems I am on the wrong site. It appears this site is for people who are socially awkward. This is not me. So again I am saying do one!
@cuddlyDavid Wow. So @achetocuddle was just curious about the term “do one” and now she is one of the “bad guys”?
I have good social skills
If you feel the need to repeat this on a thread then you don’t. Exhibit A is what you said to @achetocuddle. She was curious and you condemn her and put her in a box labeled “bad guys”. You seem to get angry with anyone asking a question or being curious. I am just curious why you feel this way since I am probably one of the “bad guys” as well. A question is just a request for clarification or curiosity, and if you had social skills you would know this.
I think the world would be a better place if we could see all points of view and validate feelings. For @cuddlyDavid, I can see how it would be really frustrating to put in lots of effort and spend time crafting a nice message to get no reply back. It can feel like the other person is rude for at least not saying they're not interested. It also seems like it would be tough to put in that much work to get one single cuddler who is super busy. Even though getting that one person may have beaten the odds, it's valid to want other cuddlers so you can get your needs met rather than waiting so long.
For enthusiasts, I believe their feelings are valid as well. Lots of people explained how they get inundated with messages and may not have time to reply to all of them, or they may not feel safe to say they're not interested if they do have time. Because most guys are decent, I think a lot don't understand how the few not great men make women afraid. When we politely decline men, we're often met with insults or threats. Even well spoken men who seem nice can have a dark, cruel side that are often worse because they're smarter and can cut more deeply.
Women can often be afraid of anything that can come off as entitlement. I don't think anyone is entitled for wanting a response back, but we can feel pressured by reading responses like some in this thread and think that men believe they're owed a response. I've experienced men who feel like they're owed things, and it can be anywhere from unpleasant to downright frightening. Some have been extremely angry at me for not wanting to provide them services (not due to looks or age or anything like that but from manipulative red flags), and I've worried for my safety that they'll show up to my office and hurt me. I've also had sessions where men have groped me, sniffed my crotch, exposed themselves to me, kissed me, rubbed against me, and tried to pressure me into more, and I've been legitimately afraid of worse assault. I know I'm absolutely not alone in experiencing these issues. Because we experience things like this, we unfortunately often operate from a place of fear and sometimes need to appear rude.
I also get not wanting to pay for a pro. As a pro myself, I've spent thousands of dollars on extra education to be better at what I do, and I do daily practices so that I can show up as my best self for my clients. To me, cuddling a client is rewarding work, but it is work because I'm giving 100% of my attention and making it all about the client and not myself. I imagine that being with an enthusiast can be attractive because it's (hopefully) an even exchange of give and take. Some prefer pros because we do tend to respond more often, and we are more likely to center the client rather than ourselves.
Overall, there are a ton of different viewpoints. I think it's best when we can have our feelings validated but also see and understand what's going on for other people.
Hi @FunCartel_ How are you? Judinging by your profile and the way you write I would say you have more things to worry about than some Brit with medical issues. I wish you all the best and hope your money doesn't run out. Hugs
@cuddlyDavid I see "I won't respond to anyone in this thread" didn't last long.
@WarmFuzzler Your response was the most inteligent and well articulated I have seen on here. I don't agree with every point but I do approve of they way you have put your points forward.
Unfortunately people like @TheFunCartel and @WriterGF (who obviously have social issues) have totally put me off this site. I am a normal extrovert fun loving guy who wants platonic warm relationships without sex.
I don't need people trying to twist my words and wind me up.
My original post was simple. I was looking for ways to get more responses from Non Pros. Instead what I got was a load of abuse, half of which made no sense.
Thank you
@WriterGF How are you? Well I hope. No it didn't. Sorry I am off now to play a gig. Have fun
@WriterGF No it didn’t. But to come back with a childish insult tells me everything I need to know about him. That and how he dodges questions from people in general. He just wants to be right and have people tell him that.
Poor David, you are right. You are so abused. You are a fantastic perfect person and all the women on this site just don’t get your genius, your sparkling personality, and your awe inspiring prose. I am flabbergasted that these women are not beating down your door to cuddle you. Seems like they would all be writing six paragraph responses.
I think these women should heed your words for not responding:
The only reason I can see for someone not responding to a detailed message is ignorance.
Hello David, my name is Beverly.
trigger warning: mean words
I hope your evening is going well. One thing you wrote really stands out for me. You wrote, "I have never heard of anyone getting hostile if they receive a polite decline. " I invite you to do a quick google search, perhaps with the terms "when women refuse", or "violent male behavior after rejection". It is unfortunately very common for women to be abused verbally, emotionally, sometimes physically, after gently rejecting a man. In my 55 years, this has happened to me personally dozens of times. Where a simple "no thank you" elicits a "fu you ugly skank, your p***y stinks". I got that one last week, on a dating site. Yes, I know this is not a dating site, but this common male behavior is everywhere. Language like that, after one has been only polite, is shocking, can cause feelings of pain, self doubt, and fear. Your naivety about this phenomenon clearly speaks to your kindness, yet also perhaps to a blindness about the lived experiences of women? Now that you have heard about a man getting hostile after receiving someone's polite decline, it is my hope you can extend compassion to women who prefer to avoid the threats inherent in rejecting men. I most often do not bother to comment on denials such as yours, I was motivated here by your manners and apparent thoughtfulness. I appreciate your calm and measured responses. I trust I will not be attacked by you, and that actually means a lot to me. I wish you all the best.
I always respond to thoughtful messages, even if they are a bit delayed. My main frustration is when men message after 10pm when I’m asleep, and then message again at 8am demanding an answer or saying something like, “I guess you’re not interested”. The reality is that I’m sleeping, and I don’t spend 24/7 on my phone replying to folks.
@NikkiFM Women sleep?
From @Katota
No reply, IS a reply!😁
👆👆👆This, all day every day. Pretty simple.