Take my word for it

There was a time in my life time when a major mode of contact with friends and family that weren't nearby was by phone. Most homes had one phone that was stationary and connected to the wall. It cost us more money to call some people 20 miles away so thise in particular were a priority. All calls were a priority. They were shorter, they didn't happen as frequently. But we took them.

We had to carry change if you were away from home and needed to call, Or you'd call collect. When we were away at school we called collect or saved money for a phone card.

I'm saying this because a phone call was something we didn't take for granted. We bought big bulky machines at a point, to record messages that were left if we weren't home to answer. Those few short messages we played, short messages and sometimes detailed messages but you always took time to listen and absorb what was said by whoever was calling. Mom, Dad, grandma, granddad, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends or extended family. It was there and tangible. You could save the little tapes, i did. You could replay them if needed. I even had to take time at the start of my work day to listen to voicemails that were left through the night. To be prepared for my day.

It wasn't as private, anyone in the house could hear the messages that were left. But you left them because that call was valued and what you had to say was important to you and whoever you were calling.

We stopped writing letters sometime in my youth. We don't even send personal emails anymore. The point is we take these communications for granted.

The skill of communication is almost gone. The skill of writing is almost gone. Knowing how to communicate a message concisely and quickly is gone. All because we all have these contraptions we all carry that makes it so convenient to reach anyone in the world at anytime. we ignore calls, don't check voicemails and we even get irritated by a call because they didn't text.

I suppose we are too busy. Even though everything in our lives make everything so easy so quick so disposable, we don't have time for anything.

We waste words, we waste opportunities to say something to someone all because we are convinced we can do it later.

Well one thing will never change no matter how advance anything gets. We all have limited time. To share, to talk, to see each other even though this little brick in our pocket lets us even look at each other while we talk yet we find it so intrusive and a bother.

A lot of you know nothing different, but it wasn't that long ago none of this was available.

Take my word for it. You have time. Don't assume you know what the call is about. Don't assume it's not important. Don't assume you'll have another chance. A chance to help, a chance to solve a problem or a chance to have a laugh. That call could be the last you get from that person.

You can still say no to whatever is being asked. But you have time to be asked. Believe me there will come a time when you wished you could have said i don't have it. I don't have time. No i don't want to do that.

But you might, just might, have wished you answered that call. Heard that voice.

All I'm saying is pick up the god damn phone. Take my word for it.

Comments

  • Excellent commentary, @BashfulLoner .

    I taught my daughter to write cursive. And she snail mails hand-written thank you notes for gifts she receives. And she understands the most popular modes of communication were not around before she was born.

    It's important for parents to give their children perspective, and to keep the time-honored traditions alive.

  • edited October 2024

    Excellent topic. Taking that one step further, I was in the process of booking a pro a couple nights ago and asked for a quick intro chat prior to meeting, as I always do. I just think it’s always nice to speak on the phone for at least a few minutes to get a bit of a feel for one another, establish a little connection and shore up some details on the meet.

    She messaged me she didn’t like talking to people on the phone because she had “phone anxiety”.

    Total record scratch for me.

    And while I realize some people are more physical than verbal, or vice versa, it shouldn’t be such an extreme either/or situation. Especially for a “professional cuddler”.

    The way I see it, if she isn’t even comfortable enough in her own skin to have a simple telephone conversation for 5 minutes before an actual paid cuddling session, then what’s she going to be like in person? Pass dot com.

  • I value the real-time text communications I have with people. To me, they're every bit as meaningful as a phone call, if not more so. Plus I can do chores while talking to multiple people. And there's things like these forums, which aren't possible with phones.

    I don't miss telemarketers, though.

    Point is, communication has evolved, not died.

  • edited October 2024

    I've lost friends because I have a hard time keeping in touch. Talking on the phone and video chatting etc isn't something I have a lot of time or energy for, and the time I do have is spent doing things that have to be done when I'm not working plus have to mentally recoupe which isn't always easy considering my profession and other obligations . Not that I'm saying my job is necessarily harder than others we all do what we are trained to do, just being a hospice social worker can be emotionally taxing, I've lost so many patients and witnessed and felt so much grief and have to keep a straight face and be clinically professional all the time and it can become exhausting at times and some days after work I just wanna sit in my recliner and stare ahead in silence and decompress and meditate. Plus I run out of steam conversationally, kinda enjoy listening to others more than talking about myself and admittedly I do get distracted and bored easily so there's that too. A lot of my friends are quite happy to check in via text now and then with gifs and memes and funny vids and a hello how are you just making sure you're still breathing, however this isn't always enough for others and it hurts to say that I am responsible for dimminished connections and falling out of touch and out of friendships because of it. And once you have lost touch the longer it's been the harder it becomes to get back in touch . The cycle of lack of communication.

  • edited October 2024

    @IronLemon
    Agreed . If it weren't for texting and the bestowment of memes and TIK Tok vids I would have a hard time keeping up with people at all especially since I don't do social media

  • [Deleted User]gem7 (deleted user)

    I understand the points made by the OP but the telephone itself changed the way people communicated. It became faster and easier for people to make contact. Faster and easier is a constant quest in the world and I don't know if that is good or bad. Texting, email and all the other social media apps represent the evolution of communication as IronLemon pointed out.
    I recall my parents despising the telephone because usually when it rang it meant bad news.

  • I shared that "rant" because of something i was experiencing yesterday. A few weeks ago one of my oldest friends reached out to me. He did it through Facebook messenger, even though I've had the same number for years, it annoyed me. I hadn't spoken to him for years. I've reached out to check on him many times over probably 6 years with no response. I knew he was in a bad way. Last i talked to him his wife left him. He asked for advice, i was stern and frank with him about how he could maybe fix the situation. That's the relationship we had since 2nd grade. That's what he counts in me for, honesty. I assumed his lack of communication was due to the fact he wasn't ready to change. I accepted it as that. I still was concerned and wanted to check on him. I took no response as a sign and it's another reason i was annoyed when he did call asking for something trivial. Something i did, because i love him and understand sometimes people need a little support. I dropped off 2 packs of cigarettes on his door step and kept on with my life. My life full of my own issues i felt i could have used his ear for. Mind you we live in a subdivision 4 blocks from each other.

    A couple weeks later, on Tuesday, he called again through messenger. About 30 times that day. He left messages that i didn't read, i deleted without reading. Knowing he was asking for something i could do but he didn't need. I moved on figured id see him when i seen him.

    Well last night his wife reached out, on messenger. We weren't close without him involved, but i answered. Thinking she was going to vent about him calling her or something. Well that's not why she called. She informed me he died, sitting in his chair. Probably with his phone in his hand. His parents found him alone.

    Im hurt because i could have answered the damn phone. I could have answered. I could have listened. I could have offered to help. I could have said no, to whatever he was asking. I could have heard his voice. I could have gotten a message of encouragement from him. I could have heard he missed me and wanted to connect. I could i could i could.

    But i didn't.

  • edited October 2024

    I have noticed that memorizing phone numbers have become non-existent, due to cellphones doing the "number memorizing" for us now. 😊

    My son made me recall doing that last year, he forgot his key to get in the house (like me, he too is a latchkey kid😁) when he comes home after school. I work 3rd shift hours, so naturally I was sleeping. My phone rings, I didn't recognize the number but I answered it anyway. I heard my son's voice on the other end, so I sat up thinking he missed the bus...But then, I started thinking "why would he called me and not a teacher, IF he missed the bus?". Right? 😆

    Anyway, he told me that he was outside and that he used another kid's phone to call me to let him in due to him forgetting his key that morning. So I got up and went downstairs, saw his key hanging from the key hook and opened the door to let him in.😊

    As he was going upstairs, I asked him...

    "Son, you called me on another kid's phone? Did you memorize my number?"

    He said, "Yes."

    I just smiled and said, " Good job, Son!"

    My son doesn't have a cellphone, if he wants a cellphone then he needs to get a job and buy his own...And pay his own cellphone bill too!😁

    But yeah, he reminded of phone number memorizing that day and how usefully common it once was.😊👍

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