Just be a human being. If we get out of our cliques we can live for a minute. Paranoia is helpful in keeping your guard up, but destroys all faith in humanity. You become this thing that attracts bad vibrations. You lose your sense of humor, and feed off of negativity.
Aren't we trying to fix people with this website? Or remind each other of how screwed up the human race is?
When it's time to meet another human being, assume kindness and demonstrate it with your actions. Send a photo if want, ask for one if you want.
Your life is how you think, what you feel. Think the best of people and they won't disappoint you. If they do, you would not have made your existence about how terrible and untrustworthy the world is.
Do you require to see a person’s face?
For a cuddle: Yes For a non-cuddle/public meeting: No
@KnightlyCuddles Is there a hidden statistics page on this site that fully documents who cuddles with whom? I have cuddled with many men. It is great! My kids are grown, but are porcupines -- they avoid hugs as much as possible. So, cuddling with other enthusiasts, female or male, is like hugging a bunch more family members.
@TxTom Excellent description of what I usually do.
This just came up today with someone who wanted to book but was not comfortable sharing a photo. I declined the booking.
For me, it's safety. I can look up the photo incase it's fake from the Internet. I can see if it's a banned person.
I don't share the photo with anyone. However my partner knows I'm going to a cuddle session. If for some reason I am not home on time and I'm not responding to calls. There is somewhere for police to be aimed at. I also put address, meet spots and clothing I was told to look for in my calendar for the same reason. Edit: I pointed out my requirement of a photo and the individual said they didn't do that and a past cuddler had been fine meeting in person first. I replied that his account had no feedback from other cuddlers and that photos were fairly standard. I wished him luck in finding someone else. And declined the booking.
They just deleted their account.
To me, this cements that I am right to stick to photos.
@TedEBearCuddler I truly have no idea as I am just a cursory user of the site. I do remember however a thread or perhaps comments about that topic a few months ago. IT seemed overwhelmingly that most (not all) but MOST men would not consider cuddling with another male.
I also would not cuddle with another male but that is off-topic. I had enough male 'group hugs" when playing four sports in high school and one in college.
If they’re not comfortable sharing their identity why would I be comfortable cuddling with them? For me it’s mutual trust. I also don’t FaceTime because I don’t give my personal phone number out as a safety precaution which should be absolutely understandable. If they don’t agree I find that super sus.
Just fyi. I was accused of being banned and reincarnated when I first joined. Like day 2. A few years later I may have proved it was a false accusation, who knows and who cares.
But this thread is implying the worse of anybody. And the sentiment of some of the more seasoned is to ban ban ban.
Well if I choose to do what I want, when I want with a photo of who I am and someone does not agree is the answer: Ban or dont book and move on? Spend time getting to the bottom of why they wont show a photo or move on? Use all your resources to pop out of a curtain with an 'I gotcha' or move on?
Why cuddle if you have to cuddle under intimidation? All the serotonin or whatever will eventually be caused by a fear and not comfort.
The only people who are required are pros due to the nature of the business.
If its such a big deal then instead of making pros show pictures let them not show pictures.
The extremes are very repetative and very exhausting on here.
Even if you’re an enthusiast meeting another enthusiast, I would want a photo just so I recognize who I’m meeting. If we are meeting in public before, it would be very difficult to meet someone without at least a vague notion of what they looked like.
@Dance_Culture I agree. Thanks for posting
@justwanthugs You say:
If we are meeting in public before, it would be very difficult to meet someone without at least a vague notion of what they looked like.
All you do is describe yourself and what you are wearing to each other before the meet. Pretty easy, actually. I have never not been able to identify who I am supposed to meet in public from the descriptions we have shared.
We are meeting strangers (mainly men) on the internet and cuddling with them. The least they can do for our personal safety is provide identification. The least.
Are we really serious with this explanation of seeing a picture insures your safety? I don't think so if we’re being honest. We can really have no clue if the picture is of the actual person or if it is an accurate and up to date representation of how they look now. We simply have to trust they are telling us the truth.
Do you lock your doors at night? Why do you do it if not for some security? Did you know if someone really wanted to get in they can do all sorts of things to get through? (Pick the lock, take a crowbar or another tool and burst in) Most windows are just glass, which is fairly easy to break and get into.
Sure, a photo isn't the end all be all security measure, but what is really? In my line of work, there is no such thing as 100% secure. Instead you build layers of security. There are certainly many ways around providing a accurate photo. But is that really a reason not to ask for one in the first place?
It feels like any form of security is better than none(?). I think security is a valid enough reason to give one if asked even if it isn't 100% protection; at least it is something, right?
Yes I require it i just cancel someone because I asked 3 times to see a picture and he threw a tantrum.....big red flag,I dodged a bullet.
@BrianOcean
There seems to be a common theme here on CC that {Looks don't matter on a platonic cuddling site] yet the overwhelming majority of people require a picture before they will cuddle. Very interesting indeed
I cross reference photos with those who have been previously banned / blacklisted. Common sense says if someone shows up and they are not recognizable using the photo they provided that there will be no session.
I avoided a dangerous member here who used the same photo in his profile as the one used on my local news for his multiple pending kidnapping, assault and rape charges. He has since been found guilty and is thankfully locked up.
With that said I'm not sure what's "very interesting" about requiring the bare minimum when it comes to meeting complete strangers off the Internet and utilizing every possible method to ensure your safety before proceeding, but go off I guess.
I do not subscribe to the theory that looks don't matter. Looks absolutely matter to me. The way a person looks tells me a lot about them. The manner they take core of themselves relates to how they might care for me. The way they choose to present themselves gives me a clue into what they think of themselves. It certainly matters. Don't take that to mean Beauty is a factor or sex appeal, you can assume that if you wish but I'm saying that is not the case. We've talked about health and odor in several threads and i believe that i can get a glimpse of that in visual representation. I could be wrong in some instances and im ok with that.
It must be really nice to be a man who doesn’t have to worry about your safety on CC. This thread and some of the responses have solidified why I asked for partial IDs from members without multiple karma or with negative karma. It keeps me safe living in a US city with high trafficking rates and is very transient in nature. Not everybody is willing to provide their name and photo on their photo ID and that’s cool with me, I’m picky about who I take on as a cuddle client because it preserves my safety, schedule integrity, and ensures I am not disturbing my own peace and personal boundaries. It isn’t about looks at the end of the day if we’re talking about “attraction”, it’s about trust as well as sharing energy. I won’t share energy with somebody I do not trust and with whom I cannot lay eyes on and have a good conversation with before meeting.
@skyhighsugar Well stated.
@skyhighsugar
It must be really nice to be a man who doesn’t have to worry about your safety on CC.
I won't lie, it is nice.
But for women, I understand and completely agree with No Photo = No Session policy.
@Rezz woah that sounds scary. Glad you are ok. @BashfulLoner, good points.
@TxTom thank you for acknowledging the privilege, it’s a gender parity I really wish existed - for everyone to feel safe regardless of sex or identity. But since it does not, I’m glad that every cuddler has the autonomy to make themselves feel as safe as possible when meeting with and cuddling strangers from the internet 💖
I absolutely i personally concerned with my safety, the dangers are often different, but please don't believe the all men feel there are no dangers involved with women. I happen to probably bigger than the average person but size doesn't always matter, as you all know. I've said before I'd choose the bear because i can easily predict the danger involved, with people that's not easily understood. So I require a picture to entertain a cuddle because women can have claws and teeth too.
@BashfulLoner totally understand, there’s always inherent risk to meeting up with any stranger that you meet online especially - gender excluded. However as a man you do still have privileges in society that women do not, and that’s unfortunately just a simple fact of gender inequality and there’s ample statistics to back that up. My comment was addressing the male feedback that photos are not important and do not add any kind of safety or value to an interaction prior to cuddling. They may not feel that way, but that is a privileged take.
Exchanging pics prior to meeting an interwebs stranger seems a no brainer non issue to most with common sense
For the women concerned about pics prior to meeting it seems mostly due to safety reasons in case something goes sideways. For the men concerned about pics it seems mostly to do with attractiveness of the woman they are going to meet. Just look at all the threads on here about being "catfished" because they seemed older , or heavier, she didn't wear the same kind of makeup or wear same type of clothes or smile as much or use the same kind of filters. Not too many women starting these type of threads. Priorities....
@pmvines well said. 👏
I’ve never met up with a client and thought wow they look horrible / are unattractive / they aren’t what I was expecting. If we vibed over messages we always vibe in person. Their looks never mattered.
@skyhighsugar i understand and agree, i was just sharing so you know not all of us feel immune. I sympathize and do my best to make all the ladies i speak with and meet feel as comfortable as possible. Because i am starkly aware of the position they are in.
I've never asked a woman for a picture due to attractiveness. Never. It's actually been due to safety concerns, of sorts. When I first started cuddling here on CC I was a bit paranoid that my cuddler would show up at the agreed upon location (often a hotel room) and I'd get jumped and robbed. No, this never happened. But somehow I felt more at peace that this was less likely to happen if I could see their face. Of course, there would have been lots of communication prior to cuddling,so this helped,too.
Exchanging face pics is the bare minimum price of entry as far as I’m concerned. Why anybody would try and make it seem suspicious to want to see a picture of somebody you’re meeting from the Internet is beyond me, regardless of gender. I agree that there is a gender disparity, but I’m a man and no way in hell would I meet a stranger from the Internet without seeing a picture of them first. The flipside of that is also true – I’d be highly suspicious of somebody that wanted to meet with me without seeing a picture.
@JLM Thanks for bringing up the other aspect of no picture ... a red flag that the other person would be willing to meet me, a stranger for the most part, having never "seen" me. I know this is not an issue for some, but it would give me reason for pause.