Why doesn't anyone answer?

So, I've been on here for a while and I often engage with a simple "Hi, I'm interesting in cuddling" or something along those lines and I get crickets. What am I missing?

10/21 Edit: Thanks for everyone's responses. I have no issue with rejection. I'm in sales so I'm used to it. I just thought there was some protocol I was missing. Through this process I learned there are Pros and enthusiasts, which is helpful.

fridaygreg

Are you checking the last time they've logged in? If it's not recent, they may not have seen that they had a message.

Mike403

Unless you're messaging a pro, most women don't like that as their first message from a stranger.

Solaris

Yeah that's not going to work with the female enthusiasts here. Most guys here mostly strike out unless they pay for a pro. There are a couple of guys here who have figured it out, but I'm not one of them.

The other thing that works a little is cuddle parties. You can meet people there and if you show up and are respectful and fun and warm, maybe you can find someone that way.

That hasn't worked for me either, BUT I did make a friend that way. And they were cool events.

And there are lots of people I talk to here. I enjoy that. But even that has taken a long time. I keep posting here, people see who you are, and eventually you make some buddies.

Good luck!

Sooson

They all an$wer. Ju$t be patient.

Sooson

Unless you're messaging a pro, most women don't like that as their first message from a stranger.

But seriously, even with a pro, I try to say a little more than that.

IronicMaiden

It helps to say something that shows you actually read their profile. If you don't, they'll probably assume it's not cuddling you're after. And a generic opening like that doesn't in any way make you an interesting person.

Mike403

@Sooson - That's how I met my first pro back in 2017. That was my first day on the site so I didn't know of any unwritten rules. I still see her once a month and she grandfathered me into $60 an hour.

Carrie_Anne

@Soo$0n I couldn’t help but 😂 at your response but
@ArtemisPrime we’ve all read this so many times, there are many threads in the forum about no response, ghosting, lack of empathy & common courtesy. Rudeness & no shows, etc. If you’re being polite, don’t take it personally.

Maybe write something about their profile that stands out to you, something more personal. Not ick or aggressive. Share something short that you might have in common?
And pretty much no one is going to answer -
Yeah, when and where?
It takes time to build a rapport and want to hug it out in bed with a stranger.
And there are a very few of us who answer every (appropriate thoughtful) message we receive.
Best of luck! 😊🤗

Katota

Sooson

I think you meant

Dee1

Artemis,
I'm actually a little different in how I see it. Your approach was direct but you have an interesting profile which I would assume the person would read. It's offensive to me when the person has nothing on their profile and/or no pic and approaches that way . I figure what I put on my profile will explain my motivations for cuddling so if I say I'll be in your area, are you interested, they will ask for a pic and decide. Or we may chat online or decide to meet for coffee and plan for a future date (or not). That said, I actually got blocked a couple days ago by an enthusiast after using this approach and I, too, am still not sure what the issue was. Was it the approach? Was it that I looked at his profile too many times? ( I have ADHD and often cannot remember which profiles I have already clicked on.)
Anyway, don't be discouraged. Give it some time. I'm still learning how this works. We are all different. Take a different approach. Comment on their profile. Suggest meeting for coffee in public first, so they can get more comfortable with you.
Best of luck to you!

Solaris

I hope this isn't controversial, I don't mean it to be. And I'm not actually whining about it.
But this is what I see.

Generally speaking, as a woman, people just want to cuddle with you. Just because of what you are.

As a man, you have to prove yourself, prove your worth. Again, generally speaking.

So to the OP, get to work.

Sooson

@billiam You just agreed with Andrew Tate I hope it doesn't make you cringe
But yea it's true not only here but outside of cuddling as well

cas123

I think there are a lot of approach-avoidance folk on here too. People who like the idea of platonic cuddling, and want to do it, but aren’t quite ready for it. They sign up for an account, dip their toe in the water, but don’t ever really get in and swim before they leave the pool altogether. I have connected with two people, who, after setting up a time and place to meet, and both of us saying, “I look forward to meeting you, tomorrow,” never showed up and deleted their profiles the next day. Some people just aren’t available when they think they are.

But yeah, a guy approaching a girl with that line gets swiped left just about everywhere online. Like people have said, try mentioning something in their profile. I will also add the suggestion of asking an engaging open question. Something like, “What is the most inspiring thing in your life these days?” Or some other question that you are interested in them answering. It shows the person directly that you want to get to know them.

Also, this might seem silly to say, or hear, because of how obvious it is, but it helps me to remember there is another person over there who I want to connect with. They have their own personage and life just like me. And also they have to want to get to know me, too, which hopefully they do, but if not, that is them. The moment I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me is when I become prime real estate, which leads me to empower my own choice to be with another person. I have the same power to say no to the people I pursue as they do with me, and this applies at every point in the engagement, whether I am seeking a platonic cuddle buddy, a romantic partner, or a reliable dungeon master.

atomicbearhug

So I think part of it is that for a lot of people this is a side hustle. So it’s not the top of their priority list.
I promise you I’m not trying to brag when I say this, but I typically get a lot of compliments about my response time. However, cuddle comfort is my soul source of income, so I am giving it the attention that a full-time job would require

IronicMaiden

@billiam You're right. And it's a result of strong gender roles and toxic masculinity - there's a lot of men who see women as little more than someone to have sex with. It's not fair that you get punished for the actions of others, but it's also not easy to sort out the genuinely nice guys from the assholes and incels.

pmvines

I usually start with hey baby, wanna cuddle? No introduction to myself. No hi, how's your world and existence treating you. I just give it my best Butthead opening line and they come a runnin to my arms.

Solaris

@Sooson I'm against Tate and all those hate filled people. 1000%.

However, if what you say is true about him (I don't follow him really), he did find a truth and take advantage of it and all the men who haven't been able to find their way. He has perverted a truth. I would much rather use it to try and understand each other and come together.

Maybe we both saw the same thing going on, but I couldn't disagree more with what he chose to do with that.

Solaris

@IronLemon
It's not just because of that, but it does play a substantial part. There is a negative feedback loop that started with biology and has snowballed with the reactions from social forces. Which then feed back into the biological component, back into the social and on and on and on until we are where we are. With a lot of unhappy people.

I bring it up to tell OP he will have to work to make cuddles happen. He will have to stand out. And I would encourage him to respect himself and all the women he interacts with. Try to understand where they are coming from. If you don't act from integrity and respect for others, all efforts will eventually backfire.

TxTom

@billiam You're right. And it's a result of strong gender roles and biology and natural selection and Darwinism and all of that.

Nothing controversial about it, although I realize in our little cuddle niche here we like to think we're beyond all that, but...

Nature has had a couple of billion years to work on her whole "life" thing, and probably has a better handle on it than we do.

Carrie_Anne

Men tend to choose who to contact for a cuddle based on the appearance /attractiveness and body type shown in photos. Just like on dating sites.
Some women do the same.

CaramelNotes

The open shirt makes me feel like you want more than platonic cuddles. That would make me nervous to engage, respectfully.

warmlyhelena

@CaramelNotes I was about to say the same thing.

JET2024

Unfortunately the main way to get a female enthusiasts attention is to have attractive pictures; a good profile and a good text based communication style.

All the things that would make someone successful on a dating app and make them likely to get their cuddles itch sorted within a relationship.

If dating apps don’t work for you then you will probably save time by accepting you will need to pay for a professional cuddler.

4cuddles

@OP, yes, there are a million reasons people don't respond. However, I'm not surprised no one is responding if you send that as a first message to a stranger (if you are referring to just enthusiasts).

Reread @ Pmvines's response.

Carrie_Anne

I noticed that Status is blank in your profile. Some women think that means you’re married or in a relationship. That might not be ok to some, but that’s another story. Pros aren’t usually as selective.

Mike403

.

TxTom

"Hi, I'm interesting in cuddling"

Short messages, especially, shouldn't have any grammar/spelling errors.

@ArtemisPrime

You are shooting fish in barrel. Throwing darts at a dartboard hoping something sticks.

Casting a wide net is not at all a good approach. Woman on this site get loads of messages from men. What is going to stick out about the messages you send? The answer is probably nothing.

Here's what I suggest:

Actually say something heartfelt with effort put into it. Read her profile and tell her what resonates with you. Tell her why that is. Don't be fake. Be genuine. You have to mean it.

If there's nothing on her profile? Say something about a picture she has on it. Keep it platonic. Comment on a band shirt she's wearing if you like that band for example. Try to avoid saying anything about her appearance as this may give the wrong impression.

Most of all, remember that you're not looking to cuddle with anyone, you're looking to cuddle HER.

The rest is up to the dice of fate.

Good luck.

Also keep in mind female enthusiasts get dozens of messages. Their inboxes are jammed, so they may not get to yours in a reasonable amount of time, if ever. There's way more demand here than there is supply.